LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXIII, Issue 7567, 20 February 1886, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

»«Let me hare audience for a word or two." —Shakspire. T have been all along a supporter of the Good Templar ticket in the licensing committee elections. I considered that it was expedient at first to give them "a show " to 6 if they could do anything towards improving the hotels and diminishing the evils of drunkenness. They have done good in three directions. But I don't like some of their proceedings. It was Queen Elizabeth, I believe, who, when she wanted to influence public opinion, used to speak about" tuning the pulpits." Monarchs have long abandoned any such plan as that. Newspapers are now recognised as the instruments having the most power over public opinion, and it 3 difficult to tune them to play in the same key. But the Good Templars make most unscrupulous efforts to " tune the pulpits." Not even Queen Bess could have been more harsh, overbearing, and unfair: Whenever n clergyman appears he is at once opened tire upon. If he does not display the blue ribbon, if he does not contend (in defiance of all true exegesis) that the Scripture forbids drinking of all intoxicating beverices it is immediately circulated that he "drinks," that he is M a drinker," am l can be of no benefit in the ministry. When I hear these things lam reminded of that passage For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say He hath a devil. The Son of Man came gating and drinking, and they say. Behold a man gluttonous and a winebibber. _ Clergymen are actually threatened into displaying the bine ribbon, so much so that, when I see a minister with it in his button-hole, I cannot help considering it as a badge of degradation. In some churches the teetotallers have threatened' to withdraw from membership unless some teetotal drink were substituted for the wine which was used at the Last Supper. I have no objection that ministers should occasionally refer to passing events in the world of politics ; but I think it somewhat unseemly that, on the eve of a contested election, they should be called upon to be earnest and unanimous in urcine their hearers to vote a particular ticket. ' p. There are many reasons why this is wrong. It degrades the pulpit and degrades religion. Keligion is a far grander and wider thing than teetotalism. To judge by the over-heated utterances of some of the ministers last Sunday night, It might have been inferred that the essential part of Christianity was the blue ribbon ; that there was no salvation for those who did not wear it. The effect of this kind of thing will be to drive out of the churches all moderate people, who can use and not abuse ; who find that it is beneficial for their health, perhaps, to take an occasional glass of spirits. Can clergymen contemplate with complacency a state of affairs which regards them, not so much as messengers of Christ as teetotal lecturers ? They will sink into that position if they obediently dance to the piping of the Blue Ribbonites.

Sometimes novel requests are made to Ministers of the Crown. I learn that an enthnsiastic leader in the temperance crusade waited on the Hon. the Minister of Justice 8 few days ago and asked if he would permit Ur, Glover, the Blue Ribbon orator, to address the prisoners in the gaol. It was urged that although they were, perforce, Blue Kibbonites for the time being, they might not be' so by conviction, and that an address from Mr. Glover might lead thsm to take the pledge whenever they came cut. Mr. Tole declined to grant the request. A teetotal lecture would, in ordinary circumstances, be a weariness of the flesh to those whom Bishop Cowie once called " the spirits in prison j" but, in the circumstances, they might find it an agreeable variety from the loneliness of a cell or from the occupations of picking oakum or breaking stones. Teetotal lectures are sometimes amusing enough, and a lecturer in the Mount Eden establishment might improve himself in his calling and heighten the interest of his visits by getting the individuals of his audience to relate their experiences. But then, if Mr. Glover were permitted to lecture, might not some others" claim the privilege? Where are you to draw the line, short of having a nightly entertainment at Mount Eden, until the place would become positively attractive? Mr. Tole thought it safer to keep Mr. Glover outside the walls, he being welcome to bring his influence to bear on the prisoners as soon as they emerged. In his various manifestoes now Sir Julius Vogel has shown that he intends, in order to carry out his plans and maintain himself in office, to go in for the cries raised by the "working man," and, amongst others, the cessation of immigration. People who have memories will recollect the cablegrams he sent to the Agent-General in London when he obtained approval of his first public works scheme, something like this:—"Send out thirty thousand immigrants before the end of the year." And a crowd was sent out, whose appearance as they landed at the wharf appalled old settlers. But the commands were so imperative that no selection could be made. They were "free immigrants," and not only did the Government pay for their conveyance to one of the principal ports, but defrayed the cost of their transfer to any part of the colony. Their expectations of what the Government of New Zealand were bound to do for them were raised to a very high pitch indeed. I remember one family of a man and wife and four children coming to the Thames, and being landed at Curtis's Wharf. A penny toll was then charged for each person, and for the first time since leaving his own house in one of the English counties, this paterfamilias was asked for a sixpence, to free himself and family of the wharf. This immigrant drew himself up in horror, and said, "Dew the Guvment mean to say that I have to pay this The toll* keeper was, however, obdurate, and Sir Julius Vogel was not at hand with the colonial money, so that immigrant had actually to pay a sixpence, which represented the total cost of conveyance for himself and family to the "Britain of the {South."

As one of the principal subjects of this last week has been "Cceleba (in the shape of a Hokianga settler) in search of a wife," I may narrate a somewhat similar incident which has occurred within the last few days. A young man, who wanted a wife accustomed to country work, was introduced to a young woman who was considered suitable. In a burst of confidence and affection, and, as their interests were to be identical, the intending bridegroom gave the young woman £100 to keep for him. His love saw reason for cooling, and a " tiff" ensued, and he proposed that, as the marriage was " off," she should return the £100. The lady did not see the matter in that light. The disillusionised swain has consulted the police authorities, but they hare no comfort for him, so that he will have to forego his wife and his £100, a sadder and a wiser nan, If you don't succeed at first, Try, try, try again. waa a principle inculcated into my infant mind by a schoolmarm whose practice hardly accorded with her teaching, inasmuch as she was seldom fain to give credit for trials, however vigorous and repeated : indeed the only vigour and repetition that she seemed to recognise was in " the application" which, on her part, took the place of "the application that was lacking on mine/' I don't always have to resort to this " try again" principle, however, for sometimes ®y first shot takes effect. lam truly delighted to Bee that one of the advertising fraternity has been brought to beak, and to hook, for his conduct. The only pity is that he but copied the example of others, who seemed to have escaped scot free ; this is not it should be. All these wall-defacers should be tarred with the same brush, and if I had my way I would have it done with the same implements that I had to employ to restore my own fence to its pristine and jetty beauty.

At the .Coroner's Court the other day one °* the constables was indulging in the beastly Practice of spitting on the floor. I was not altogether surprised, for another member of the force is accustomed to do the same thing, ° n 'y to a far greater extent, at the Magistrate's Court-room. Complaints are everlastingly being male as to the disgusting state of our street corners by reason of the loafers thereat expectorating thereon ; but whilst our constables are themselves guilty Of the abominable habit, they can' hardly be expected to rate their fellow-expectorators.

5 To " Hammer it in " is the only way to make any impression upon soulless corporations. When are our tramcara to be drawn by quiet horses ? i Three times lately l#ve I ridden behind a jibber, that caused endless trouble and annoyance, as well as such an expenditure of whipcord as might have secured the attention of the Prevention-of-Cruelty-to-Animals Inspector, if his eyes were ever in the right place; The sad death of the little boy the other day was attributed to one of the horses plunging at , the moment, which prevented the car being brought to a stand. Another little item of complaint; children's fare is half-price, that is, three halfpence. Why do the conductors, as I remarked last week, invariably take twopence ? One is grieved to think that the time-honoured farthing cannot be acclimatised here, but I really cannot see that the valuable halfpenny should perish from neglect. Lastly, a suggestion, what a boon it would be if passengers could be transferred from the Eastern to the Western route, and vice versa, at the junction of Queen and Wellesley streets. Such a transfer is allowed to travellers who choose to walk along Karangahape Koad, from Cemetery Corner to Pitt-street. Why not do the same thing below i I don't vote at elections here, but I believe them to be intended to be carried out " by ballot," and yet I am told that the corner of the ticket is turned up and the number of the voter written upon it, for future reference if needs be. This strikes me as being a peculiarly Irish sort of secrecy; perhaps it's the Blue Ribbon variety. The University College authorities have at last woke up to the perception that there is usually in a University such a study as medicine. A knowledge of biology is doubtless very valuable, but as most of us are in the enjoyment of the bios, and but few are disposed to relinquish that enjoyment as long as they can stick to it, it might be as well to provide for a few of our youth being instructed as to the best mode of securing that enjoyment to us for us as long as possible. I doubt very much, though, whether the foundation of a Chair of Medicine would do much for us, at least for some time to come. The colonial article is but "homespun'' at the best, and even colonial sovereigns were a long time before they would pass muster, so it's not very likely that a home-made doctor would be much sought after as long as we can get men of eminence from the best schools in the world. I would once more advocate the plan that 1 suggested soifie months ago—found two or three good scholarships wherewith to send our best lads home to be trained, and they would then return stamped with the real Hall-mark. The use that is made, or rather not made, of our Professors is pretty plain. With the exception of one single student, none of the young men at St. John's College availed themselves of the Professors' leotures last year, and even he did not present himself for the examination ; at least so it was reported to have been said in the recent English Church Synod.

The mention of the Synod reminds me of a rather striking instance of the necessity there exhibited of remembering the old sage's advice to the "cobbler to stick to his last." A prominent member, I was told, in stating the proper educational attainments for our girls, catalogued amongst them such liquid amusements as " washing our shirts," strange to say he expressly tabooed " aquatic equations." Which be they ? A rather good story comes to me of a parson not a hundred miles away, . to whose church a troop of cavalry came some little time ago for a church parade. Seeking a suitable opening hymn, he pitched upon "Ride on, ride on in majesty," and duly gave it out, number and first line. After the American organ-ist had played the tune he read the text, which popped out before he could help himself, " He comes, sitting upon an ass." The congregation tittered, and the cavalrymen looked well, like brothers. Musical circles are still greatly exercised, and I think naturally so, over the most recent interpretation of Beethoven's sublime Mcircia, Funebre, the item which more than . aught else in the well-selected programme influenced my attendance at St. Patrick's Cathedral on Monday evening last. To say that I was utterly surprised at the tempo at which the march was taken, were bat imperfectly to convey my state of mind. I was bewildered, pained, irritated. What? I mentally interrogated, is this Beethoven's chef cl'auvrel the acme of impassioned grief; the work of the : master so reverently interpreted by our most eminent musicians ? By Halle! No! Save the unextinguishable harmony, rather the accompaniment to the ludicrously halting strides of the mock heroic stage assassin. " What magnificent chords ! What superb progressions 1 What exquisite harmony !" Thus, the didactic programme, specially written for the occasion." Ay, marry ! "Who but Beethoven could have written such music ?" Who indeed ! " What a distance between this and the commonplace ' Dead March in Saul' of Handel !!!" Yes, and what: a distance between one crotchet and another! Bat commonplace ! Handel's unique Dead March ? What think you of it, Mr. Fenton ? Mkkcctio.