AN EXTRAORDINARY HOAX.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXI, Issue 6966, 15 March 1884, Page 10 (Supplement)

AN EXTRAORDINARY HOAX.

Some time ago a smart-looking man pre-: sented himself to a painter in the. village;, of , Eckington;"noar Sheffield, and.stated.that he was an official of : :the Post: Office,- specially; sent down 1 from London, to superintend a work which had been decided upon by .the Department. This work was no less thau to paint the' telegraph 'wires, " a clear /white." ft had been represented'-to. . the.. .Department, he said; that /the public frequently ran against the posts, and that gentlemun driving their, carriages accidentally came in contact with them. " It had; therefore,■■■been resolved,■ /with a.view of avoiding such'annoyance and casualties in the future,- to.paint all..the posts w'hitei j.to .a . uniform height of eight, feet;;Ho was authorised to carry out that work, and he now-requested'-the tradeHman. to give, him' an estimate''for several miles of it in that, locality: : He was scrupulously particular in. his, specification. "Now, mark you," hetold, tho tradesman, " the: [height must be. eight feet ; .of good white paint that will, last, and if. your estimation should be accepted, when the work is done you'll render your account to me; I shall initial it and: send it to the Post-Office, on tho follow; ing day thev will send a cheque for the ■amount;" 1 'The-tradesman: sent in a tender which, .after scrutiny', -beiing- declared: satis-' factory,- the work was instantly proceeded /with:- During.its progress several workmen .who were/repairing the telegraph wires, were exercised in there minds as to this painting of the posts; It: never struck anyone that ;thei tradesman- 1 bad' been ho/axed, but they came, to the conclusion that the real purpose of the Government was not that stated,, but their object was iu those colliery ilistricts to paint the posts white/in order to prevent the writing/of objectionabie -rhafter '.upon 'them, ■as is'freely done. After his interview wi.th the tradesman the man went to a small farmer in the neighbourhood, whom he addressed 1 thus—"!■ want: apepmbdation at your house," and then proceeded, to explain that he would be employed in the neighbourhood a considerable: time, . superintending certain work for the Post Office, for which he had. given the contract to a local tradesman. The farmor replied that he did not see how he could give the accommodation, that he could not afl'.ird it, and that he had never (lone anything: of the kind, before. On this the man-replied, " Mark ; you have not said- yon won't ; that is well for you ; for if you had said you won!t, you wOuid! have rendered yourself liable to a penalty of £50." This somewhat, staggered, the poor farmer, who was still further bamboozled when the man went.on to say, with an. increasingly authoritative/air, "I could go to Rimishaw flail or to the Rectory, aud they would, not dare to refuse me. They kuow that as an official of the Government they dare not make any remark.; but I chose to como to you." This ■fairly/: .'"-finished"' the .farmer, who at once broiightforth '.'.fruitsmeet.for.repenta.nce, "and begged the pardon of the a/ug.ust official, who tnfd.h.im. wfth increasing condescension that his conduct would be overlooked, but tliat he must at once provide the: accomodation : pos.sibie,. for which he. would he properly remunerated, adding. "Wedoiipt want accommodation for nothing. We fere hero to pay liberally for everything we have," Meanwhile the painter continued with the help of his assistants painting the telegraph posts,beiDg careful to preserve the regulation height of Sft.. and this employment he laboured at assiduously to the end of a fortnight, during which the ".official" looked down -upon him occasionally to see that the work was' going on all right. Then suddenly tho man disappeared, and the painter, becoming uneasy, wrote to the General: Post Office, London, intimating, that lie: was carryiug out the instructions he had received:; that he had got so much work ■done, and hoping that it would be satisfactory to the department. To his intense surprise and. discomfort, he received a sharp reply; saying that he had hp authority whatever for what lie had clone, that he had laid himself open to a persecution for tampering with the Queen's property, and that lie was liable to a heavy penalty. He was not .absolutely 1 required, to strip off all his. paint, but was peremptorily told to leave the rest of the: posts alone. Occasionally when. Work is handed in for him to Undertake it is accompanied' with, the unkind cut " not to let it interfere with any Government contract he may have-on hand." Of cours-i the farmer never received any "liberal renVuheratioh," or any remuneration of any sort for the .fortnight'p keep of this " post-officfe official;" whose only, object appears to: have, been to obtain board: and lodgings for that time without paving for them.; and in order to get his " free keep" at the, farm house, he had to use the tradesmen in the manner described as.a reason, for his presence in the locality.— Sheffield: -Telegraph.