SNAP SHOTS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XVIII, Issue 6051, 9 April 1881, Page 3

SNAP SHOTS.

[FROM THE "AUCKLAND WEEKLY NEWS."] ffur shouldn't I imitate that respectable gentleman Samuel Pepys, Esq., of gentle memory, thus : Wednesday, weut to the exhibition of the Auckland Socicty of Artists. Saw the pictures, commendable for a new country and amateurs. All the aristoi there, smiling, flutter and feathers. Pleasant sight, better than the pictures ; rather too true to nature, which could not be said of some of the pictures; productions occasionally confused as regards perspective, and hard and doubtful as to colour. Ah, ill-natured ! Not ' a bit. Excellent things these societies, if ! you keep the snobs out, and don't let pretension usurp the place of merit. Hear ! some admirable criticism by somebody who is said to know everything, and talked of " chiarosceur " as "queer-as-eure-oh," whilst the young gentleman with the lady in all colours stamped his approval of one picture with regard to the "retrospective." Here spots on the sun these. Everyone cannot be a judge of paintings, and most people didn't pretend to be. It is altogether a good exhibition. Crude? Of course. Rome wasn't built in a day. Well done, young society. Bravo, young beginners. May you live long and prosper. So the Graud Inquisitors, the impartial three who had settled Mr. Macrae's business before they heard anything about it, have been travelling too fast and made a mess of it. "My learned friend " has lodged a protest, it seems; says that the putting the head-master aside couldn't be done at the meeting at which it was accomplished, without notice, that nuisance a standing-order blocking the way. What a joke if the Chief Judie—the chiefest of judges, "and the collegiate blossom " whose fragrance soft steals , on the mid-day air"—have tripped in their I haste to have at that Scotch clique. To work together so well—the two lawyers and the diviuest of divines—to nudge each other, enjoy it all so much, only to find that there is a "hole in the ballad." What! pursue that head-master unrelentingly, give him the mockery of a trial, give an olf-hand decision, condemn him withj utmost unction, and encounter the spectre of illegality before the hand-shaking is over l- It is too much. Oh, Sir George ! Oh, Mr. Speaker, to be a chairman and so mislead your friends ! Foolish Mr. Macrac !— child of nature,; though a Scot —if you had but bewigged the big-wig, flattered the divine, and consulted the shadow of the chiefest of Judges, you would have been the best of — though a Scot. The rule of life is to be all things to all men. It may not; be honest, be even mean, and not acceptable aloft. Success, sir, is the only test of merit; the ; world is not too nice. Look around you and see the proofs. That man should have entered a dock, and then disappeared behind gaol walls. Mark how he carries his shoulders ; high and finds a champion amongst the best. ; He knows the world, and turns to it a front of brass—not lie a poor but honest Tom Pinch. Perhaps the Government would like to know whether my grandmother took snuff, whether my father ever forgot to wind up the clock, or my fifth cousin had twins. Perhaps it would like to know whether I am a teetotaller or "if whiskies, how many ?" A statement of what time I rise, whether I snore in my sleep, and whether my eldest daughter, Uphalanda, uses cosmetics might please it. Hang the census papers ! Presently we shall have the policeman knocking at the door and inquiring what you had for dinner, roast or boiled, entrees and pudding, pat 4 de fo'ir gras or those seductive but perilous lampreys. Wiiy am I, who never cast an eye on my maid-servant—l have you there, doctor—to bring a blush to that rotund but virginal cheek by r<isli interrogation as to age ? Why should I circumscribe the free will of greyeyed babydom by prescribing the future religion of Vio, cetat eight months and two teeth. It's two bad, this census. Unveracious maidenhood which has never budged from nineteen is exposed, maternity lingering amongst the forties has to yield to fifty - three. r What with census, anil vaccination, and : registration, and general vexation, life isn't worth having. There is a saying, "My mind my kingdom is." but by-and-by we shall have some bold collector calling for that too.

What a life it would be if every act had a musical accompaniment—commercial gentleman singing 14 Hey diddle diddle," sportive worthy Lo, hear the gentle lark," and amorous swain " Oh, if thou wer't mine own one how I would cherish thee." They say the Chief Judge lias something of the sort, hut that's fiddle-de-dee. As we can't, it's a mercy to have the Simonsens* amongst us, Madame fresh as ever ; Martin vigorous and vexatious, and the daughters sharing the gamut amongst them. What thoughts the I Opera recalls Jenny Lind and the inevitable | crush ; Son tag, first of sopranos, and Rhodes' , variations sang with inimitable ease ; Alboni, : .the queen of contraltos, thiee encored the ' first night in "II Segretto Mario, with that inimitable "Beviam che tutto Grisi, unequalled of voice and dramatic power; Viardot Garcia, Persiani La-Blache, Tamberlich, and Ronconi; Catherine Hayes and Dorus Gra's failures after a fortnight. It can't be—can't because it is so true—that " music hath charms." No? How came it then that that rough digger in the golden i days of Bendigo stole a furtive finger to his eye, a tribute to that grand and wasted singer, Sarah Flower, a prima who would 1 have been, if the worth of the woman had equalled the sacrifices of her sister. Life is not all beef and bread. There's food in music, the painter's ease), and the sculptor's art. The eye and ear'help the vulgar utility of the mouth. A good talc has reached me of a visitor from the old country, a man of acknowledged position and large acquirements, who found himself patronised by that class of person to be found in the colonies, with more money than braius or breeding. He was in the company of a freshly knighted millionaire, who held the floor of the chief club and engaged the ear of a servile throng. Presently he turned his attention to the visitor, who listened patiently, but with mischief in his eye. "And, may I ask, Sir S W , what arc your pretensions to speak with authority ?" came "as a gentle interrogatory; " what special knowledge you possess?—what are the infinite merits which you exalt? Your name appears to two books, Sir S ; they were written by T and S , and you are but the jackdaw in borrowed plumes." The knight protested, but the smile went round; the visitor made an enemy, but humbug was exposed. Toby Twinkle.