SNAP SHOTS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XVIII, Issue 6003, 12 February 1881, Page 3

SNAP SHOTS.

How are these things done ? Will some- 1 body publish a hand-book on the art of 1 dodging? Mr. Lingard was a bankrupt, hadn't a shilling in the world, poor fellow, 1 paid the passage of himself and wife to Francisco, and 7s Gd in the £to \ illi.-unson,. on £500 —about. I knew ; Lingard to be. a clever fellow but to be shillingless to-day, and possess hundreds to- i morrow, stamps him as at the top of the ] fcreo. I wonder whether Searell got the hundred owing him.—fiddlesticks—and Craig 1 his trifle—humbug. It docs seem such a 1 queer affair, does it not? The trustee, brave man, was determined to do his duty. Such i phrases as conspiracy and perjury were used, 1 and Mrs. Lingard was to be examined and ■ the law vindicated. Mrs. Bustle was all agog for such disclosures, and, behold, < suddeuly the alleged perjury and conspiracy disappear from sight, the trustee . assents to an arrangement, and the law which was to be vindicated, isn't. It appears that you can do anything you like in Auckland, if—excuse the slang—you only know the ropes. If this had been a cabman, or some small trader, how would it have » been? This sort of thing can't last forever. j Public indignation will boil over oae of these days. If to be hooted and pelted with rotten eggs is to be the fate of a Minister, the salary ought to be increased. The responsibilities are worth more money. Mr. Oliver removes the railway workshops from luvercargiU in the public interests; Mr. Oliver subsequently visits Invercargill: Mr. Oliver is insulted, and somebody softly whispers " you really oughtn't, you know." There are magistrates and policemen, and all the paraphernalia of the law, and the blackguards wlio ought to have been given over to seclusion for a month or so escape with impunity. Perhaps when it comes to be the turn of a bishop, or some sturdy Minister turns on the roughs with his stick, and sends a few of them sprawling, this sort of conduct will be put a stop to. If this is to be the accompaniment of democratic institutions, that rapsealliondom can do what it likes whilst decency cowers in a cornel*, the less we have of them the better. When will some strong man come to the j front, and throw his hat into the ring foe j the right ? " Wanted, by tiie public, a few 'men with moral courage/' ought to be a standing advertisement in the papers. Never mind, Mr Oliver, it's better to be respectable and pelted than a low fellow and the pelter. Make way there for King Fenton, the autocrat of the North, who moves Ministers like pawns, makes and unmakes Boards: more than a king—a kingmaker, a colonial Warwick in a wig. 4i Let us alter the Board of (Governors of the College and Grammar School,"* says his Majesty, and it is done "Xow appoint my own friends/' and the Ministers bow and assent. The Domain Board is to be altered— more new appointments— and still it is Mr. Fenton. 44 What does Mr. Fenton think ?" says the Government. If any enquirer should ask, 44 And how is the North Island governed?'' "By Mr. Fenton and the Government/' must be the answer. Aud the Hsrald bad the audacity to ask, 44 Who is this Mr. Fenton ?* ? A judge, forsooth, and a canny, who ke«ps his counsel, and twists Ministers round his thumb with more ease, friend, than you or I could lift a feather. Mean I Means that everything comes of favour and beiug in with the right ring. Up with your caps, my lads, here comes an Auckland Gessler, and without a Tell amongst you. {4 Grey is moody and bitter/'say his enemies. What else should a good man be'! It's not of that institution in Howe-street, Auckland, that we can sing "Home. Sweet Home." It's anything but sweet. Stickleris said to be out-Stickleyed, the children dirty, education neglected, the servants all changed, and things, in the language of one of Mr. Dickens' characters, in an " awfu muddle/* Hope may spring eternal in the human breast, but I should like to see the breast blessed with that perennial budding when the Home is concerned. There is to be more inquiry. This person is to be censured, and that has to be, and there is to be all the old thing over again. Told you so when the committee elected the new master behind the door, and told the Press through the key-hole they weren't "wanted. What's the use of a committee that can't keep things straight, and has to be taking people to task every day ? Isn't there eveif one man in the community who can manage the Home ? By all means shut it up, board out the children, and let's hear no more on't. The milk of human kindness in Dr. Purchas has been soured by the odour of a beerbarrel. Somebody sniffed the fragrance of malt liquor about the premises of the Auckland College and Grammar Sehool, and bottled it up for Dr. Purchas. The noble and inquisitive spirit of the member of two liberal professions new to arms. 4 4 Beer ! v in a tragic tone, said Purchas to Dr. Campbell. " What beer ?" said Campbell. 44 College beer and a drunken master !" roared the saintly wielder of the lancet and the wearer of the cassock. It was all about town: such virtuous indignation could not be silent, and Mr. Anderson—a retiring and well-behaved man and classical master—a kindly public labelled "too much beer/"' Seven months the slander festered, seven months Dr. Purchas said nothing to kill it. am! then he said there was nothing in it. an 1 In? didu't mean it." Most magnanimous Doctor I Admirable 1 exemplar of the Christian doctrine you teach ! You fling the first stone, unmindful of the ; injunction of your Master, and injured an innocent man. Idle gossip found in you a ready listener, but you withdraw ami apolo-

gise—at the end of seven mouths! "l or. have heard perhaps of sackcloth and ashes— where is yours ? Hail you ruined Mr. Anderson, of what use would an apology then have bceu? Toi;r Twinkle.