FOR THE LAPIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XV, Issue 5065, 9 February 1878, Page 6

FOR THE LAPIES.

IN XI!!-: WiiuSH PEW. •'l'm desperate," he said, "and I must have food for my family. If I cannot get it by fair means, I must by foul. Your money or your life!" He was a veritable tramp, anil Mrs. O'JJonnell looked at him, and told liim that she was poor herself. " Oh, that's played out. I haven't killed anybody for a month ; but I mtfst have b-lood or foedi" " I'll call my husband," said Mrs. O'Donnell. " I don't thiuk you will," said ho. "He won't be home till six o'clock, and I don't believe you've got a telephone about the house." " We have nothin' to give yez ; but, oil, spare me childer," said she, as the tramp grasped little Mike. " I'll da9h his brains out against the bedpost," said the ferociou* villain. Then Mrs. O'DonneU's Irish blood was up. She yanked that tramp off his feet quicker than a reporter would find the bettom of a schooner. She bent him double, and his bones cracked like the Fourth of July. When he came out of the window he looked as if he had been gutting fish for a foundry. " Yez wanted blood, and now yen have it. When yez want any more, yez had better not get in the wrong pew," said Mrs. O'Donnell as he picked himself up and limped away. And now, when that ferocious tramp is i'compelled to go to Brooklyn, he don't go. j SUMMER DRESSES. White dresses became very popular with the advent' of hot days in Paris last season, and four varieties of white material were in vogue. First there was the diaphanous organdy muslin, essentially for young ladies' wear ; secondly, the classical mnslin-crepe, which is a link between embroidery and lace, with both of which it is profusely trimmed ; these two fabrics were worn over silk. White faille and barege Virginia, a light plain woollen fabric in dead white, cream white, and ivory white, also compose white dresses; and the trimmings usually employed were white crepe lisse embroidered with silk, fine faille kiltings, and artistically draped gauze scarfs. The fourth white material is called " basin," and is a reproduction of a fabric worn fifty or sixty years ago, and made up into simple ooatumes and ornamented with dark faille bows. White dresses are made in the Joan of Arc style, with all the drapery at the back: the material is moulded, as it were, over both bust and hips, the liens of which are indicated—or perhaps betrayed wonld be a more correct term ; for no matter how flimsy the material the dresses were of the thickest brocade. White costumes were quite a treat after the eccentric greeDS so impossible to describe, although the similitude in hue to toads, sorrel, and peas have been brought to aid in attempting to bring the popular tones of colour before the mind's eye. White becomes brunettes or blondes alike, and shades and colours can be used for trimming it. On the other hand, it demands style and elegance in its wearer. LADIES OF THE LAW. Miss Eliza Orme, who some years ago delighted the friends of female education by carrying off the chief honours in political economy at King's College (says the London correspondent of the Manchester Quardian), has now beaten all her male competitors in jurisprudence. The scholarship—the Joseph Hume—is not of much account pecuniarily, being worth only £20; but the glory, of course, cannot be estimated in filthy lucre. The Hume, in fact, is one of the chief distinctions of the kind in connection with the college. Nor is it any disgrace to the vanquished young men that the winner of the second place is also a lady. Not very long ago Miss Orme took the prize in Roman law. I know an Indian civilian who has played such havoc among the linguistic and other prizes offered by the Government, that it has been thought advisable to give him a hint from head-quarters not to present himself for any more competitive examinations. .Now, if Miss Orme goes on at her present rate, the authorities of King's College may deem it expedient to convey to that lady » serious remonstrance of a like nature. I may mention that the new holder of the Hume scholarship has adopted law as her profession. Her partner is Miss Richardson, their chambers are ir Chancery-lane, and their special work is conveyancing. A WIFE'S WONDERFUL ECONOMY. We had been out to the graveyard to bury Mrs. Pidgeon and we were riding home in the carriage with- the bereaved widower. While he sopped his eyeß with his handkerchief he told us about her:—

"In one respect L never saw her equal. She was a manager. I've knowed that woman that's lying out there in the tomb to take an old pair of my trowers and cut them up for tbe boys. She'd make a splendid suit of clothes for both of them out of them old pants, get out stuff enough for a coat for the baby and a cap for Johnny, and have some left over for a rag carpet, besides making handkerchiefs out of the pockets and a bustle for herself out of the other linings. Give her any old gamment and it was as good as a gold mine. Why, she'd take a worn-out sock and make a brand) new overcoat out of it, I believe. She had a turn for that kind of economy. There's one of my shirts that I bought in 1547 still going about making itself useful as winder-curtains and pantalettes, and plenty of other things. Only last July our gridiron gave out, and she took it apart, and in two hours it was rigged as a splendid lightning-rod, all except what she made into a poker and an ice pick. Ingenious ? Why, she kept our family in buttons and whistles oat of the ham-bones she saved, and she made fifteen princely chicken coops from her old hoop skirts and a pig pen out of her nsed-up corset bones. She never wasted a solitary thing. Let a cat die around our house, and the first thing you knew Mary Jane'd have a muff and a set of furs, and I'd begin to find mince pies on the dinner table. She'd stuff a feather bed with the feathers that she got off of one little bit of a rooster, and Bhe'd even utilise the roaches in the kitchen so they'd' run the churn—had a machine she invented for the purpose. I've seen her cook potato parings so's you'd think they were canvasback duct, and she had a way of doctoring up shavings bo that the pig'd eat 'em and grow fat on 'em. I believe that woman could 'a' built a four-storey hotel if you'd 'a' given her a single pine board, or a steamboat out of a wash biler, and the very last thing she said to me was to bury her in the garden, so's ■he'd be nseful down below there, helping to shove up the cabbages. I'll never see her like again. I don't believe he will, either.—Max Adeler.

, The question of the heor—Who shall many Brigham Young's widow. ! Mrs. Moran, wife of the artist, is also an artist. One of her pictures was the gem of the Ladies' Art Exhibition last fall, and her water colourings are very fine. A strong-minded woman was heard to remark the other day that she would marry a man with plenty of money, though he was so ''ugly she had to scream every time she looked at him. ' For genuine enthusiastic economy, commend us to the Gait farmer, who killed owls without wasting ammunition. When he sees One sitting on the ground, he walks around jt.two,or three times, and the owl twists its head off trying to follow his motions. Fact! ' It is related of Sydney Smith that once, on entering a drawing-room in a West End mansion, he found it lined with mirrors on all sides. Finding himself reflected in every direction, he said that he " supposed he was at a meeting of the clergy, and there seemed to be a very respectable attendance." Little Khoda's reception orator remarked to the Presidential party that " Rhode Island opened wide her doors." Kven then tbey had to take off their overcoats and squeeze in sideways. An old rail-Bplitter in Indiana put the quietus upon a young man who chaffed him upon his bald head in these words : 41 Young man, when my head gets as soft as yours, I can raise hair to sell. t King Kalakaua plays, the guitar, is a free thinker, has a large library containing all the poets, German metaphysicians asd modern philosophers, and likes journalists. He is decidedly a big gun. When yoa see a child that has no respect for his parents; yon can make up your mind that either the child or the parents should be looked a fter rather sharply,— FoU* Reporter.