COUSIN BOB'S FIRST LOVE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume V, Issue 1433, 20 June 1868, Page 8

COUSIN BOB'S FIRST LOVE.

(From Chamber's Journal.) I was waiting out a'.ono ono day, in search of »n appetite and an inspiration, when I came to a house and earden surrounded by a high wall, at the foot ot a hill The appetite I had little difficulty about in the.e happy days; but the inspiration hung fire, and m epic poem could not for the life of it get over the Ip 4 stanza of the first canto, where it had stuck for ■Weeks. To soar nbore the world a bit, might help one, so I turned to the hill, and tried the ivccelsior plaa. When I had mounted a oo.uple of feet of slippery grass, I was out of breath, throbbing at the temple/, and damp ; eo I turned about, and eat down on a convenient shop-pith, to see ,f the Muso was inclined to elrifco up yet. The Muse still sulked; but I hid a capita bird's-eye v.ew of the garden beneath me, which was large, and laid o t tith thick and shady sbrubbenes; and in a walk -which intersected one of these, I caught the glimpse of a f6male robe. ~ i_m Now, a poet wlio catches sieht of a petticoat while ho is in the very crucible of composition, is bound to become enamoured, unless, indeed, it is on a clothesline, or he is already in lovo with soino one elee — ■and'i am not eura whether he would always be safe even in those contingencies. I was clean bowled on the instant. However susceptible, a prosaic man ■would have waited till he sa'w whether sho had a hump or a wooden leg, or was nearest sixteen or sixty; bit my instinct told me that she was young and lovely. In half a minute, she emerged into a clear space, and faith ! my instinct was Though B be was rather far off, I was long-sighted, and could tell that. As when the sportsman, intent on shooting a rabbit in cover, watches the furze-bush from which he_ expects tho furred creature to appotr next, so did I gaze on the gaps in the trees through which tho eylph-Hke form would presently glide, and then I ■watched her till ehe once moro disappeared beneath the leaves, and I had to look for an opening further on. At length she happened to turn her eyes towards the hill, end bo became aware of my presence. There was one point of sympathy between Uβ established already ; sho too must be long-flightod, for she could evidently distinguish that I was not a shepherd, at least in the practical sense of tending sheep—in the Arcadian meaning, I was a little in that line—for eha would not, otherwise hare taken eo much notice of me; standing still and looking foil at me: walking on, and stealing hurried sideglancee; ■watching me from sheltered spots wheie ehe fancied I could not detect her. After playing at bo-peep for about a quarter of an hour, the deop tones of a bell wero heard, and she hurried off towards the hou3e. As eho took one last look in my direction, I rose up and laid my hand upon my heart; she waved her handkerchief in answer, and vanished. On tho following day, I roturned to the same spot at the same hour, and eaw her again. I took oil my hat, she wavod her parasol; I kissed my hand, shn kissed hers. Tho flirtation was as desperate as it well coultl be, considering the distance bettveeu us, and the insecure nature of my footing. I continued to haunt that hill: sometimes, I saw the divinity of the garden, and sometimes I did not; but when I did sho was always tilono, and we exhausted our ingenuity in exchanging sentiments by signs. However timid and respectui! a lover may be, ho does desire after a time to approach nearer than a hundred yards to the object of his affections, and that was the closest I could get by stationing myself on the lowest spot which commanded a view over the ■wall. Besides, to enable a telegraph to work Fatisfactorily, the parties communicating by it should meet together first to explain what their signals mean. So my heart leaped with gladness when, on. the fifth day of pantomimic performance, sho unmistakably beckoned tD me. I ran down the hill and was under te wall in bnlf a minute. " Ars you there?" asked tho softest and sweetest voice (present company always eicepted) that I ever heard. "Loveliest and Wrest, I am." Bang came something on the top of my hat. It was a large s'.one, with the following note attached to it by a piece of string : — " Mysterious unknown, are you another foe or a friend P A secret instinct inclines me to deem you "the latter. Kuaw you icy pitiable story ? Have you sought me out, and come to my rescue ? Or have you been drawn by a mysterious magnetic power to the foot of these walls, ignorant of whom they con--tain? If the latter, inquire not of others, lest your questions excite suspicion. There are spies everywhere. I myself will my ' tale unfold' (Shakespeare) In finding time and place. Speak not, but adopt ray method of communication." The Etyle was, to my then taste, charming. The " Shakespeare" was rather eccentric perhaps; but did it not shew a sweetly tender conscience, only too ■rare in these days of wholesale plagiary ? I should have liked to have returned an answer in poetry, but there was not time for an impromptu. So 1 tore a leaf (there were plenty of b!an'< ones) cut of the note-book intended for my epic (which indeed eventually proved to be all blank verse,) and wrote the following letter: — "Fair and afflicted lady, you are right: I am indeed a friend ; and I know not who you are. An almighty influence—need I name it ?—has drawn me towards you. 1 know nothing, I seek to know nothing but that I am your blind and devoted slave." Pretty, was it not ? Well, I tied thtt to the stone, and remembering my own accident, and that my charmer did nor a wear tall, stiff hat, I uttered a warning-cry, and tossed the missive over the wall. Then I ran up the hill, to see how she liked it, and ascended high enough enoush in time to ob3»rve the whole process of reading the note, which she did holding it at arm's-length, clutching it with both haads, lips parted. If ehe had studied under a preBaphaelite painter, she could not have done it better. "What I had said seemed to besatisfactory to her, for when she had read it, she kisaed the note twice, and thrust it into her bosom ; looked up at the sky, clasped her hands, and walked rapidly off towards the house, withoat attempting to communicate with me further. Immediately after that commencement of a correspondence, wet weather set in, and I did not see the mystery of my heart for a week ; at the end of that time, the eun reappeared, and on mounting ijuard on | my hill, I perceived that she was once more in the 1 garden. She appeared glad to see me and motioned | me down to the foot of the wall again, and when I ■was there, tossed me over another letter:— " I cannot fully trust you tM T have scanned your features more clo-ely. Uwim tho moat and scale the battlements, so shall we converse at ease." What did she mean by a moat ? Was it a playful allusion to tho quantity of rain that had fallen ? Or a sarcastic intimation that the difficulties I had to Overcoiao were trifling indeed to those which lovers in the good old time thought nothing of? Or was she merely indulging in a political license ? I left all this for : the battlements were indubitably thewall, and her meaning wae sufficiently plain for immediate practical enterprise. "I come, fair lady, I come!" I cried "looking about for a goood climbing situation. But the wall had been newly pointed, and there were no cranks or crannies into which boot tips could be insinuated. A smooth surface woa presented me, up whi'-h a cat lEight possibly have run, though I doubt it, but before which a clawleas creature was helpless. I was now well provided with writing materials, and I explained my difficulty on golden-edged, > tinted, and scented note-paper, promising, however, to get over it and up the wall the nest day, or to perish in the attempt; though how either alternative •was to be accomplished, I could not for the Hfo of mo imagine. But the night brought counsel; aud next morning, I got some large nails, or staples, and a mallet; and going to the place earlier than usual, and first ascertaining from my post on the hillside that the coast was clear, I proceeded to drive a nail into the mortar at about three feet from the ground, another higher up. and then, standing on the lowest, and holding on to the other with my left hand, I knocked a third in etill higher; and so, after many tumbles and abra- ; sions of the skin, I contrived a series of points of advantage, which enabled me to scramble high enough •to catch hold of the top of the wall, and then I was ' all right, for there were no broken bottles alofig the poping.. ■ : CFhetask.cpropleted, I dropped to the ground and : ran. up. the hill to the post of observation, and there I i ;sat till the ? lady made.her appearance; then.l waved my hat;in triumph, rushed down, sprang up'the wall, and., seated myself on the top of it. Beneath ' xaer:Btopd the object of my affections, so close hat .1 could ecau ; her every feature, catch her i faintest sigh. That was a great trial, for I- had « let my imagination take the bit between its teeth •upon the subject of her charms; and a coarse com-

I plexion, irregular teeth, or large ears, would have disenchanted me. But ehe really was a remarkably handsome girl, with a sort of anxioue, diitreseed look in her eyes, which appealed strongly to the eympathies. There wae a certain eccentric, tragedy-way with her, which ordinary worldlings might have taken exception at, but which only sorved to rivet my chains the faster. " 'Tie well," she said, when she had gazed on me in silence for a somewhat embarrassing minute. " No turn your face sideways: 'tie again well. Your features recommend you, but they are sometimes deceitful. Can I really, truly trust you ?" " Loveliest and dearest, you can," T replied from the top of the wall. " 1 will lay down my life to serve you." " I accept," ehe said in solemn tonei, v.hich gave mo rather a thrill. One does not expoot one's words to bo taken up in that literal way. " I had sooner livo for you, though," I hastened to add ; and take this opportunity of apologising to the spirit of the original utteror of the joko for the theft. " Thanks, thanks !" she exclaimed. " And what will you do for me ? How provo that devotion which I doubt not?" It wao more conveniont for a youth under nge, entirely destitute both of resources and experience, and eitunted in n precarious position on the top of a wall, to deal in generalities, than to propose any definite course of action. I was puzzled for a moment but suddenly remembered with, relief that I was in complete ignorance as to who she was and what eho wanted, and that it was only reasonable that the direction in which :~y chivalrous pa h wae to lie should be pointed out by her. " True," she said when I mentioned the fact. " I must trust you with my sad secret. Know then that lam not what I see.n. Doubtless, you take me for an Englishwoman, for I speak your tongue with fluency and correctness; but no, lam a Kussian princess. A cruel and wicked cousin coveted my estates, to which he was tho next heir. He sought to acquire them by the lawful means of marriage, but being a man of ungovernable temper, he one d»y had a serf knouted to death before my eyes ; and I loathed and dreaded him. The f ting of outraged vnnity was then added to his cupidity, and he determined* to dispossess me. But I was a favourite with the Czar, the Czirina, and all the royal family : and while I remained in. Russia, I was safe. But a .sad infatuation tempted me to travel, and tho moment I touched theeo inhospitable ■bores, I was seized and hurried to this place, whore I have been incarcerated ever since. Doubtless, my villainous relatiro has spread tho report of my death, and is squandering my property upon himself." " But," cried I with an enthusiasm which nearly Djftde mo lose my balance, " the matter is simple," I will go to the nearest magistrate ; I will 860k tho aid of tho police—l will " " Pray—pray, do nothing of the kind!" sho oxclaimed with alarm. " STy enemy is connected by the strongest ties with your prime minister, and the chief of your police is in his power. One word fo tho authorities, and my cause is lost for ever! No ; flight is my only resource. Aid my escape ; fly with me ; hrini* me to my native land, and I nm sarcd. Eternal grititude and countless treasures will be yours." " And may I not presume to a, higher reward ?" I I a*ked. i " What mem you ?" she replied bishfully. " I fear lest my temerity should offend you," said I; " but love is ever presun.ptuous. And if I could only hope that my aflection might odo day meet with ' a return. I should be iuspired with an ardour before •which all obstnoles would melt away." This was pretty well tor a bashful lad, was it not ? I do not believe I could have spoken such words in nn ordinary drawing-room, had my life depended upon it; but from the top of a wall it was different Further advance was impossible, and retreat so easy ■ And ret, when ons comes to think of it, to make an offer of marriage to a princess on a first interview was a prompt proceeding. I was successful, however, for I was accepted then and there, and all that remained was t> make arrangements for our flight. I had several other conversations from the top of the wall with my princess before our plans were matured. The great difficulty was funds. Once in Russia, and we should be encumbered with a superfluity of wealth, but we had to get there. It was a difficulty which never occurred to tho knights of old, who always tossed their purses to those who demanded money of them, and yet bad other purse* for the next comer, and I was therefore at a loss for a precedent. I had three pounds ten shillings of pocket-money ; and by pawning my watch, chain, pie, and ring, I raised ten pounds more ; but that was sadly insufficient for so long a journey. I was obliged at length to explain the difficulty to my princes, who removed it at ouce. Sho had jewels, which, even if sold for a minute fraction of their value, would provide us with ample funds, and ahe would bring them with her. So the day whs absolutely fixed, and our plans carefully laid. The only hour at which the princess had an opportunity for escape was that when we usually communicated; we must therefore take the extra risk of a mid-day flight, and speedy discovery and pursuit. We were to mako our way on foot to a seaport town some seven milee off, and take ship from thence to Hamburgh, whore wo were to be marrisd, and travel as fast as we could to St. Petersburgh. When all was arranged, I folt considerable compnnction on reflecting upon tho state of flurry into which my poor tutor would be thrown by my mysterious disappearance, and the anxiety of my parents on first hearing it. But how short would be their anxiety, for I would write and set their minds at re.st the moment we were safe in a foreign land; and what pride and pleasure would be theirs when they learned that their son was a prince, with forests and a mine, and any number of serfs ; not to mention the most lovely princess that ever existed out of the Arabian NighU ! And so, one fine afternoon, I, the man of tho world, the realistic, fusty old lawyer now addressing you, positively climbed to the top of the wull, and let down a rope-ladder of my own manufacture ; and when my princess had climbed up it, I caught her in my arms, seated her beside me, and began arranging the ropeladder for her descent on the other side. Hurried and excited at I was, f yet perceived that the princess had not exaggerated the value of her jewels. Sho had on diamond ear-rings of such size that they dangled to her shoulders; long pendants of shape and dimensions such as I had never seen in precious stones before; indeed, if I had not known, I should have taken them for the glaes ornaments of a chandelier. " My knight! my deliverer !" exclaimed the princess.—" What a go this is, icn't it 7" she added presently in quite a different tone; and then springing up and down in a childish fashion, she commenced singing : Humpy-dumpy sat on a will; Dumpy-dumpy had a great full. " Hollo, there! what are you after ?" shouted a hoarse voice from the garden; and on looking in that direction, I saw two servants running up, and a portly gentleman in their rear. " Here is the rope ; let yourself down : we are discovered !" I cried to my companion. " Humpy-dumpy eat on a wall," she sang, seizing me by tho shoulders. " It is no time for play, dearest," I remonstrated ; " but be quick, and we may yet give them the slip." "Humpy-dumpy had a great fall," sho continued to siag ; and to illustrate her words, she gave me a sudden push, and over I went into the garden, alighting—not on my feet. " Run and fetch the ladder," said the gentleman to one of his servants. —" is a nice airy seat you have chosen, dear Miss Seymour. May Ibe permitted to join you." " Certainly doctor. It eeems this gentleman could not keep his place. All the kinpj'a horses and all tho king's men Could not pick Humpy up again ?" A.nd the princess pointed to me as she sang the words and then she laughed so heartily that she nearly rolled iff the wall; and then she crowed, I do not mean like a baby, but like a cock. And then the ladder :»me, and sho was got away into the house. " And now sir," said the doctor to me, " what have pou got to say that I should not give into custody ?" I wonder whether I looked like a fool. If my features are capable of assuming such an expression, I ihould imagine that they seized the opportunity of Joing so. I made a clean breast of it, giving my aame and address; and the doctor was very goodlatured, about the affair. But there was no doubt kbout my having been on the point of running off with a very dangerous lunatic. " Just as—pardon me for saying so, Oousin Bob— he wag about running off with a very innocent one." " You are quite right, I yddy. And so from havng been a perfect sot in romance, I became a total bstainer."

The Beal Phantom Ship.—A mock auction. j J