ALEXANDRA.

New Zealand Herald, Volume IV, Issue 990, 16 January 1867, Page 5

ALEXANDRA.

(PBOit OTTB IS6ANE COIiEESPONDENT.) January 9, 1867. Col. Allpain was eeenin the neighbourhood of the Alexandra Hotel a short time since, in consequence of which the store-keepers have lowered the price ol tea, inferring that there will not be so great a demand for that herb in future. Now is the time for tetotailors to lay in a stock. " We are in an awful state of escitement, an attack on this and the otlier frontier settlements being hourly expected. Warn all V'• ur readers not to set foot in the Wailcato, or they may leave their bones, of course after they have been properly picked by the lovers of human flenh to bleach in the sun in Bomo of the numerous gullies of this wild and uncivilised district. From the moat trustworthy information I am in a position to state that an empty canoe was aotuallv seen floating down the river by a person of unquestionable integrity. There is no mi-taking a<i omen of this sort, and no one can doubt for a moment that the Maoris win drive the pakebas out of the country. I intend to sell my land immediately, if not Booner, and clear out to some tpore peaceable part of the globe. If I remain here many 'days longer I know that I shall have to write to you to the effect that the settlement has been sacked, and that T awoke one morning and rr.aue the horrible discovery that my house had been burned down and my head cut off and baked during the night, and that my eyes are in the hungry maw of some friend of the Aborigines Protection Society. The authorities are evidently aware of the alarming state of affairs by the fact of a strong guard of three men doing "sentry go" every night. They_ beep a very sharp look out, the Bentry generally being asleep in the Bentry box.

The crops are in a very forward condition. I was shown a pumpkin the other day weighing exactly one ounce and a quarter. The fortunate grower never loses sight of this vegetable wonder. He intenda to make it into jam, and expects to realise a handsome competenoy for the remainder of the term of his natural existence by the sale of it in quantities to suit all purchaser. By the bye. what d 6 you think of the idea of constructing a railway to make the joiirnoy from the earth to the moon more convenient. Tho man in the moon would, I feel oertain, become a large shareholder in such an undertaking. As there is a great deal of moonshine about that gentlemen, ib- would bo necessary to make him stump up the " ready," aa we don't want any luna-tick. : I have made a most important discovery, which I hope you will publish for the enlightenment of the world at largo. Oaptain Dinpelt had several pupß, which afforded me an opportunity of prosecuting my favourite studies in natural history. I noticed that they all wagged their tails. There is no doubt that they are all cur-tailed.

I won't say anything about the discovery of gold near Kawhia. I know that if Ido your readers will think that I am something more than a Bhinglo short, as only the moat dangerous lunatics communicate such discoveries.