TARANAKI SOLILOQUY.

New Zealand Herald, Volume II, Issue 322, 23 November 1864, Page 6

TARANAKI SOLILOQUY.

[I-'rom the Turanaki Herald-j " To lie or not to be? tlmt is the qui'stun, W hethor 'Us hotter to iiiauitaiit this w.->r; \\ ith prompt itrul vigorous hand t' cru.-h 't his ii toi'ul t-ockatriut:; to unfuii!? the adder, \Y hie . tho lonij tiiiJlv cherish'd hath tun e wound? Or, is it better to bespeak fair pc-;u» At j'rico i'f .Mir :-u['tvm;:cy 'Jo nib noso» -Ar.o the caliimctj us 'twere this [mis-ant potentate J'otat-iu, _ This gen lo -* King •">)' the e-.nnibal island-', Ami si> by well-meant but misplaced iei.icii'y (jive all WH-onraifeiiu'nt to the ingi'ate rebels other time to encroach upou our right® r Mcthiuks the fin-t wore bctur lor us, .And nil who [-hall come ai'ter us, . . these 'lhat Britain's il should s jv\r^ignisisles , The i-uro m -iv cost us much, hut once ct.ee c MY* may sit u«u\n In peace upon oiu* Nins lear of lurUw r Thi-ii, of two q\ Us lot u* ch- the Ipasi* A patctajd-np yea« 6 will riovor binig SUi^-

EXCEEDINGLY odd fellows. (From ])<rkcn s All the Year Hound.) ■OKIIM told you about his ;lc c oull t a t, thoPostF;01 . Savings'-bank, and would have you beliove ""The was a model of prudence, and all that sort of i] 1 . L ]!,,( I could tell you a dill'erent story. Kot ?! mind what lie says about me being" aggra""'n.r ami sitting mid saying nothing, and T-'t fein" ,vor! ' t ' tlmn ™ggins. ior . l despise such • s'ntritions; bat George, though he is my husband, ""l us kiml and good a man as ever breathed, is a '."".1 with his money, and that's the truth. His put-:-lH in the rost-otliee Savings'-bank is just a '•"i" , in i" J "feel certain that if I don't look after him, ■"'u'-ll make ducks and drake* of it after all. He '"i 1 v.-u that l.e is an Odd Fellow. Well do 1 know I ' l ' l The slate that he comes homo in after the lodge which are held at that horrid Yorkshire I-p'v.'is dreadful. To bear him comingiip to bed at " in tV.e morning, you would 1 hink they was Tt Hti'.i" coals up t' lL " Stairs. And then when ho 'imes into the bed-room, trying to walk straight and h..1,1in" on hv the chest of drawers, and 1 give him ~ leek, he says, '• Pon't look like that, Susan ; yon I liaxe' been at the lodge providing for a rainy v ~n , l doing bis duty to my family." I must say tl'Vot (IccW. always when he's been providing for r'inv dav. ami doing his duty to his family, he hetiic smelling of ruin with lemon. When (ieorge first joined the Odd Fellows 1 •J..-u-'l'.t it was a very good thing, for he told me that i,v , aviug in a small sum every month he could get i,',i jliilliiia-s a week if he ever happened to he laid |,i and ten pounds for burial expenses if he died, which of course would be a nice thing to have, and .•H'-aiui-niix'pence a month not much to pay for it. hut aftc a hit there was so many lodge meetings, . .„i cu-onre.-o often coming home tight, that I began tlunk that cne-and-nineponce could'nt do it. so 1 v-is determined to get to the bottom of it, and one ,v I catechised him. " Whatever do you do at that lodge, George 1 •• IV," be says, •' why, transact business, of course." •' Hut it surely doesn't take you till '2 o'eieek in tin- nn Tiling." 1 says. "Oh yes it does," ssvs: " tlie business is sometimes very heavy, and ~,r , .! s a meat many accounts to go through, and the ifi:rs of the order to discuss, and lots of things— ■vou. you have no idea what a great society ~,irr i.-: it's bigger than the Freemasons'; we have wr.iirv.l# of thousands of members all over the eoun-[,-v. 3 :;.. i inore than a million of money, and an Act ;i : rariian.ent all to our own selves." "Well, of -.vurte. when he told me that they hail so much ...., and an Act of Parliament all to themselves, 1 tiioi.Jhl it mast be all right. But, by-aud-by, there m;i.- a deal tio much of the lodge to please me. Whtfi.efer I wanted him to come home early, or to !SKf we to the theatre, it was always. "1 can't to>u«in, tor I've to go to the lodge." •• Jiut it a.;:'; the lodge night. George." 1 used to say. " Iso," !-e would answer, "but there's a special meeting tolaghi. and I musi not miss it, as 1 expect soon to be ir.'.M." "Why. wlnit's that 1 says. "Oh," he says. • Giand blaster, Susan, which is the highest olliee -.a c-'.a society, and an honour to them as is elected to :t.'' "Well." 1 says, " George, it uiav be a very fine thing for you to be G. M., but it isn't pleasant for :::e -itnng here moping at home night after night, nil ore. t»o. three, and tour in the morning, and you .->iwavs coming home smelling as you do of rum, niiieii doesn't look to me like business." I was determined lo know what they did at the Lvlge: and so one night, when I thought George and the members would be in the midst of their business 1 put en my bonnet and shawl and a thick dotted v,-ii. walked down to the Yorkshire Grey, and sapp--il into the parlour, which 1 knew was next 'o tli» large room where the Odd Fellows held their iiiirtnus- 1 bad a glass of shrub and a biscuit, and ic!-,t the young mail that, as I was rather tired, 1 would sit and rest myself a bit. "Well, I had n't. been there five minutes before 1 heard -voices in the next nx in,and George's above all. crying. " Order, order!" Aiai then 1 heard somebody say, " Oh, bother the a,-mints -. put them books away, and let's get to business." "Hear bear!" everybody cried, and there was a tremendous knocking on the tables, and a voice laiird out, "Give your orders, gentlemen, the waiter i- in tiu- n oin;" and then there was a sctitlling about,

a i-liii-king of glasses and after u little delay a voice rritd out. " Tile the door, Jo.-e] li, Biother Bcnsclcy will oblige." I heard a bolt go, there was mine knotting on tile tables, and then somebody—Brother Berkeley, I suppose —began to sing the" Haymakers " tiirouth hi* nose, and after eiu-li verre tliev all took up the chorus. After the end of this song, which ,-itii;e<l to be-applauded with hammers. I heard an - i.tlur voiee ask, "What shall we say after that, Brother Betiseieyand Brother Bensclov replied,

"iiay the present moment be the worst in our lives." hvirilody cried "Hear, hear. ]nar !" and the hac.mer went at ;t again. 1 stepped a lull hour, anil :lii> ;oit of thing went on all the time. Alter each

tig. it was always, "Givo your oidcrs. ger.tkmcii, tie waiter is in the loom and then, "Tile the dot r. Jiseph. Brother this, that, or the other will oblige r" then the bolt went, and the song began, and the company took up the chorus and clapped their hands and kr.' ckid ar.d made such a noise as I never heard.

Weil, I eculdn't with conscience remain any longer f-n a glass ot shiub and a biscuit, so I went away and '•-■ok a walk as far ah John's, and stopped with Jam' for more than an hour, and Wdit back again to the crkshire Grev about eleven ; and would you believcn. they weie still at it, singing chomps and hainmerini <11 the table like mad. And] hadn't listened outside- fjr move than five mir.utes betoie I heard my Geejge, .-irgijig, "If'me, sweet heme,', and I knew v»ry will by his voice what state he was in. £<me ua ri voajd have walked right intotho room and hae; l.:m nit thole and then : hut whatever mv feelings n.iiy If, a thing I never will do is to go and fetch my laa-band out of a public-house. If a man demeans ■vrnself in such j ; j;,ce, that's no reason a woman d.ould ; and irom all i hear vnu don't get anything by " fat diit thiown into your face, as the J übliean aluujs s:des with his customers, and a wile as got s «• d interferes with ln-r husband, when he is spending 1-is money ar.d enjoying himself, is looked upon as n curse. ,s 0 ] didn't wa j t j 0 f . e( . or flllv nlorei but straight home, and the lire not being out, sat ")> lor George, determined to give him a bit of my iiuiid ior once. It was past one when he arrived, i : ™ what stute lie was m before lie lame in, by the l.e boggled with the latch-key, which is a thing aiu sorry I ever consented To, and which 1 might lu'.e nipped in the bud if 1 had b- gun in time ; but *-t ?mh limits only iuk;» root and grow, and it's a i harter ever aiter-Aards. i ou wouldn't believe the "nlmuis; ol George when he's half-seus over. I oiten wonder how lie can do it, with the drink in ■'nil the wit out us it is, when he comes home in that Mite r JJe 11 stand just for a minute in the passage to balance himself, and then he'll come in with a ounce to make believe that he's brisk, and steady, "nil nil right. And always when he conies in like '-i.it lie smiles—oil, so idiotic!—und ?a) s. "Well." says. " ]* it well?" and gives hiln a look winch he eun't abear, 1 know. "Don't be angry, jsu.-dii. he eays; " 1 didn't intend to stop out so late, ut tlie business of the lodge was rather heavy to-l-,-a,ld—"" " ''"''Wlestieks 1" 1 says. "Oh, don't t»ji like that, Susan," he says, " you know it's t. o! j -"V\ S°°d and yours too." ""What!" I says, urmkmg, and smoking, and singing songs to this Jwir in tile morning ! it's lor the good of the Yorkjiiie (jipy that's whose good it's for. I know what . our bir-mess is—it's hip, hip hurrah, bravo, a very "j 00 ' ' so "S> ;il 'd very well sung ; give your orders, l!ci. lemon, the waiter's in the room ; tile the door, ' l' r 10 ' L I"-T George will oblige with ' Home, i| Wea .\ Ohj you like your sweet homo better s-ivs ' ll: '"tehire, Grey, d'm't you V" " Susan," lie r'm't .'i 1 st " n '' tin's." "No," X says, "you ' ' ,l '"-' ar to be told of your faults ; but you shan't say I '' "l"' ? ani :l SK rilva beeausc X sit and ti.ii i -1 intend to speak my mind, now, und I d' « J0U ' ( ' tor "°> you are a. great big pigeon that Hies i/i-cL 'Jther night to the Yorkshire Grey to be tltt lot Of indeed! Udd fools you are, a- s ' iOU !d Lave seen how George opened his eyes in aV'' mi; tOUUi that. He Hopped down in fc U UIIC * lat1 at alarin S at me a st - I '-I ail d, 1 tlii, f- » was ",^ a Susan." " You know now what tW n- CI • VC ", l ,' < - ; '-' or S e >" 1 says, " und let me tell you lour 1 i 1 0" ■ !l^Qut your Odd Fellows' Society, and : >n n 'S hts . >' our courts, and your benefits. " iiul h f """r °' y our rubbish." " liubbish!" he says, o nt i t '* '' S "J' S ! " what's all this but rubbish ?" r '"ulii . o, ! t W ' l '' l 0 drawer and Hung all his tluor 'u\vf C!l ' ,s "'em, in a heap before him oil the t»ok'th. 11 d ° you C; ' U thi3? " 1 tiys, and X w ith i\i', m on ' 3 01le — il blue sash embroidered '!><-• woe! i'l'i 3 °^'' le 9''der, a ridiculous thing for all ' ; >tin nrl - t ' lu pi L ' lllr( - > 'n Zadkiel's almanac, it silver st"° n ' " Sl "' : ve ' vel collar, a gold sash tie, a ' ,Vf| uld till'L- U " ta6So '' two rosettes. "One l! «t vou'i'' i sa y s ' " " mt V° u :l sweep, und w 'tli Jiel-'*" K tl'°se rags together to go out it on the iirnt of Alay. And hero's eavE; " cash with the ridiculous

arms of the order, eiglit-und-six ; apron six shillings, collar five shillings, sash-lio one anil-nine, star one-aud-six, tassel onc-and-nine, rosettes three-and-six — total, one pound nine shillings, and all to make a guy of yourself." "Well but you know Susan," he says, " these things are necessary to distinguish the order and keep it together, ' "and a pretty thing to keep together." 1 say:-, "if nil be true." "All be true." he sivys.

" what do you mean ?" " I mean," I says, " what's written in this book, which liiv brother John gave me last night, and told me to be sure and read it to you." " "What book is it ?" ho Riys. •' It's what they call a bluo book," I says. " La, Susan," he says, '• who would have thought of you reading a bluebook ?" '-I shouldn't have thought it, myself," I "says, " for I always thought as they were dry things as nobody ever did read, but. used to wrap up butter and light the lire? but J Unci dill'erent," I says, "for this bluo book which is hv Mr. Tidd l'ralt, a gentleman under Government, tells of many things which it is only right that every working man's wile should know. If von are able to keeji your eyes open." I says, "just listen to this, which is the evidence ot a working man like yourself, who was fool enough to go and be an Odd l)"ellow. It lias been the custom among the members ever since the commencement- of this society, which Mas in 1837, to spend in drink every club-night at the rate of threepence from every member, which was taken out ot the contributions, and which will amount up to the present time to Is. Every member was compelled to pay one shilling for drink ou the feast day whether he came or not, besides eight shillings a year spent for drink on committee nights, and for the last seventeen years it exceeds nine shillings a vear, and sixpence extra paid tor every person becoming a member on club nights, and one shilling extra on becoming a member on least days ' And here's the hill all regularly made out. Spent in drink, from Oth September, 18.57, to loth October, liSti'2 :—

CoGS 0 0 And all this, besides what the members spent on their own account, for the benefit of the public*house where the lot Ige was held. Another working man tells us tlint his lodize paid eighteen pounds for a Hag ami ten pounds ior a drum. Now, what on earth a sick fund wants with a drum is past my comprehension. And perhaps you will just listen to what this poor man .-ays : ' They have turned me out,' he says, ' because I would not pay tor tlus dinner I never had. They are in the habit, every least day, of taking so much money out of the box towards drinking— generally about thirty shillings, I think—also sixpence eai;h towards the dinner. There are one or t\Nu teetotallers in the club, so last feast day (this ] know for u fact) they-had taken some money out of the box for drink ; one of these teetotallers asked for a glu*s of teetotal drink; he was refiued, and told that he might buy it for himself. Some of the members stopped till two or three o'clock the next morning to linis-h the drink bought with the money taken out of the box. . Three or tour of them were found next morning in a beastly state of intoxication, and earrvd home.' And that's the way your Odd l-'ellows provide lor a rainy day, and do your duty to your families. And here's a nice bill to be charged to the funds of a benevolent society supported by poor working men :—

Liquor at monthly meetings .. £0 0 0 Band at anniversary . . .. <> 0 0 Dinners to persons carrying banners O (> 0

Donation to I.ancashircKelief Fund 5 0 0 for processir.it to dinner on the marriage of 11. K. 11. tho Prince of "Wales . . 10 0 0 '•"Why," T says, "it's nothing but liquor and foolery from beniimiuijt to end : ale, gTog. dinners, banners, drums, flags, processions, and getting drunk, and ail at the expense of the fund that ought to go for sieliness ami funerals. If you couid all be buried in drums." I says, "you might have them, with silk t'.ags painted on both sides, with the arms of the order for wit.ding-sheets, but lis for cotlins, I don't know where they are to come from." I declare, if George wasn't n nodding and fast asleep as a churi h, "George," 1 says, "you have had v our evening, and now I'll have mine and 1 stirred him up and made him listen. " Look here," 1 says, " what IU r. Tidd Pratt says, a gentleman as is under Government, and his business, to know all about it. ' 1 lie older you get,' he suys, ' the worse you get : and in one year.' he says, 'no less than one hundred and thirty-seven friendly societies have been dissolved and wouno up,' through not being able to carry on, their expenses being greater than they could at'.ord, all along of ale. and dinners, and drums, and such-like things, as are contrary to the Act of Parliament, which you have all to yourselves, and which vou are so proud of. You hrag about your Act of Parliament, but do you know what it says ?" ">o," he sajs, "I never read it, and I suppose nobody ever did." "Oh yes," I says, " 1 have, and I can tell you that ale. anil feasts, and hauliers, and drums taki u out of the funds, is contrary to the Act, and, what'.- more," I s;ns, " proceedings may be taken against you for paying away the funds for any such pur] ose, and I've a great mind to write to IWr. I'l idd at I about vour doings at the Yorkshire Grey." "Oh bother Mr. Tidd Pratt," he says. "] want to go to hid and with that lie gels up and bolts out of the room, and up-stairs, and when I goes up. three minutes after, he is sprawling all-over the IA d, and snoiing like a bull, and there was his clothes 1\ ing scattered ov it the room, and his money out of his wuiscout-picket lying all about fhe lloor. Sow I'm net one lo search mv husband's pockets, but when I lind money lying about in that promiscuous manner, it's only natural that I should pick it up and count it. "Well, there was three shillings in silver, half a screw of tobucio. and threepence-half penny in coppers, and, to my icrtain knowledge, when George went out to go to the Y'orkshire Grey he had a bright half sovereign iii his pocket; to that on ono lodge night he had spent six shillings and cighlpence-half-penny, which is very nigh live shillings over and above his subscription, ho I don't-wonder that he bolted awav to bed anil wouldn't listen. That's where it is. 'I hey can't abear to ho told tho truth about their sccieties, !or they know in their hearts that drink and drums is at the bottom of them. It's mv belief that if there were no public-houses there would be no Odd J'"ellows, and Foresters, and Ancient Druids, and other fools of mankind. Preheard my biother John say, and now 1 believe it, that it's the badges, and the bands if music that attract members, just 'i' iu recruiting for soldiers and slipping the shilling i'do pool- voting lads' hands, when they're da/.zleil with the ribbons and the line uniform, and too much beer. George was very fast in telling you till about his savings in the Post-ofliee Banks, but he didn't tell you that lie once insured in the Bird-in-Ilaud Provident Association, and paid for two years, when the board was had up bef ore the magistrate for swindling, and they broke into the oilice, and found it nothing but a hack room at a corn-chandler's with no furniture except three dirty tobacco pipes and a beer can, which bad been a missing from the public-house at. tlio comer for months, and the cliaiiman of the board, on being accused of it, took a bitter oath that he had never seen the can, when ho had been a using it all the time to boil his cotl'ee. The Bird-in-the-Ifand gave out that it had five thousand pounds in the lilootnsbury Bank, but when tliey went and searched books they were told that it had only sixteen shilling there, and never had more than twentypounds at any time. Whenever anybody died, the Bird-iii-the-Hand disputed its liability, and tho people were all too poor to make a stir about it and have justice. It is true George has got a bit of money laid by now, but what I'm afraid of is that ho will be doing something foolish with it. I'm sure he's been bragging about hid account out of doors, for there's scarcely a day passes that he doesn't get letters wanting him to take shares in all sorts of companies and associations for the benefit of the working classes, and circulars besides from people that make regalia and badges, and banners, and satin aprons, and all I such rubbish.

I read in my paper, which is the Penny Xitcsmaii, that. Mr. Gladstone is going to set up insurance offices for tho working classes at tho Poet-oHico .Savings' banks. I hear that there is great opposition to it—by the publican's, I should'nt wonder— but I'm sure if Parliament was only composed of working men's wives the bill would be carried unanimously. It's just what tho working man wants, for as things

are now, lio (locsu't know whore to go fur safety, anil the wyv that lords and baronets and tho aristoi-rai-v put their names to oflicea and societies that never do anything but go into Chancery and wind-up, is re-ally shameful, and a snare to them lis haven't- got the education and knowledge to judge for themselves. J am no politician myself, but, 0.3 ft working rnan'p wife- es knows hovr the money goee, I'm fctiro what

Mr. Gladstone proposes to do is good, and if ho would only go a little further, and make the Pontotliee sick funds as well, he will be the best friend the working classes ever had. And bless him! I say, for the duty he luig taken oil' the tea. and the bottle of brandy that you can now get at- the grocer's, without sending the girl lo the publie-hot'sr, where the fellows get larking with her, leading to crinolines and red petticoats mid ruin Why, at i'lumberry's, where 1 often buy my tea, we can get brandy, gin, rum, and any kind of wine ; and I'm sure, if George would only buv bis bottle of rum, there, and bring it home and have his glass by the fireside with me (or a mate from the shop, too, if he likes), it would cost him leas money ; he would have no headache, and he'd be a deal more pleasant to all parties next morning.

Ax 7£m:aoi:i> Actkcss.—We take the following from a New York letter:—"An amusing side scene.

' not down in the bills,' transpired at the Academy of Mu>ir, Brooklyn the other evening. The 4 Duke's Motto* was underlined for reproduction, ami lUdlo. A'ertviili—whoso name is familiar to your oporagoing readers —was down for a prominent part, and when the piece bad progressed to tho point where it w:ts neeessarv that she should make her appearance in male attire, she withdrew to her dressing room to make the necessary preparations. »ltist about the same time two gentlemen, friends ot one ol the actors, presented their tickets at the stage door, and were admitted- behind the scenes. lUdlle. A ertvali emerged from her dressing-room soon after in her unfeminine habilaments, and took her stand within call of the prompter, and, as it chanced, near these two gentlemen visitors. One ot them, us he alleges, in ignorance of whom ho addressed, laid his hand upon her and declared that mademoiselle was a 'bully boy.' Yertvali the magnificent, turned upon her insnlter in a towering rage, and asked if he know whom he addressed. Tho fellow made no reply to the questions, but insisted upon making lnrther investigations, and thereupon Yertvali, drawing the sword which was part- of her costume, exclaimed,

11111 l your head comes oil',' ami struck him a musing blow acro*s the shoulder. 4 I would run you through the body if it were not a disgraco to the profession,' she added. as she walloped him over the head and shoulders, and drove hini bathes and without his ovt'iecat t<« the street door, where she ejected biiu to the street. Hy thin time her blood was fully up In tin- mark, and, returning to the com- j panion of the unfortunate merchant. she said, 'and ; who are you sir r' k Tin nobody.* nuid he. * Then I I*ll nmke you less than nubady sir; get out oi here,' ami in the twinkling of her eye, she drove him out also. The aetor whose friends these ejected and probably defected gentlemen ilaimed to be, soon afterwards made bis appearance and some sharp words passed between him and Yertvali. Singularly enough, in accordance with the exigencies of the opera the two were obliged to make their appearance upon the stage soon after in a ieneing scene, and they nay that the man, forgetting the proprieties ot the place and the sex of his antagonist, laid about biiu altogether more violently than was necessary, and "\ ertvali returned the blows with interest.. JSutthe excitement was aito^ether too much for the lair actress. The moment it was over, she suffered so trom nervous prostration that she was unable to appear in this city at an opera advertis«-d tor production the next night. In a publi.-hed card Mdlle. Yertvali gives her version of the affair, as follows :—lirielly, the .state ot the ease is this : Two men in a state which T intend not to qualify, followed me behind the scenes, laughingatme ir<»nieal!v several times. I naturally avoided them, having no male protector with me, my three agents being occupied in front of the house. I iilortunately, 1 uas obliged later in the evening to step towards the door tor stage business, where these men stood with some ballet girls. 1 approached, dressed as .Ksop. I felt hands about my body, and, turning round, said, 'llow dare you insult me V They continued to laugh at my indignation, and said all kinds ot things. 1 then*said, * l>o you know who 1 am? I will cut your head oil*. Am Ito he assaulted in my own house ?* When these men saw that 1 .-poke in earnest, they left the stage so rapidly that they went without huts or coats. One of them grabbed bold of my arm so roughly that 3 will bear the mark there for some days. I have plaet d further statenu nts in my lawyer's hands and hope that the -America)} nation, men and women both, renowned for their courtsey towards strangers, will feel the gross insult- a lady has received from these I wo men, as Ameriians are universally acknowledged to be gallant and courteous towards women. I was verv much upset, and for thirty-six hours | could not leave my bed. unable to perform the announced ' I.hike s Motto."

Kutatoky 11.mi UursHiNc- 01' all minor seditions tlml of having jcmr hair well brushed is one of the most agreeable. '1 hero are some barbers who pat your head Willi bristles till it bleeds : others harrow the skin ; other- stroke the outside of your hair with feeble, impenetrating touch : but when you sit under a man whose hand is neither too heavy nor too light, who just touches the scalp with searching bristles, and t hen draws them st on* lily through the hair, a sense of sooth ng calm ereeps over you. Imagine, however, a steady and searching stroke indefinitely extended. f J hink what it must be to feel the brush take up your hair without any descending motion ; conceive every part of the scalp traversed with a penetration whieh skips nothing, and yet never searches the skin, never trespasses on the forehead or neck conceive a stroke whieh, though your hair mav be only an ineh long, can be continued, il M.m please, for a quarter of an hour. And yet ail t hoe eonditions nu> fn Hilled in the new machine for hair-brurdiiiii;. The brush is circular, like one for cleaning bottles, and revolves on a long axin, whieh axis rt mains stilll. Kigidly connected with the drum-shaped brush is a wheel like that of a pulley, with a deep gi'>ove. J( is eviiient that if thi.s be turned, the brush will turn round the axis or handle whieh you hold. The question is, how to tpve the j rotary motion to the brush, and shitt it about all over the patient's head. If the brush were set twirling in a frame, lie might put his head t" it ; but this w«»uld be inconvenient. How can wi? juako the brush revolve, and then apply it to the hair r It done thus: an endless band of vulca/iized india-rubber hangs trom the ceiling over lb*- chair in which you sit to bo brushed ; it descends to within about a foot of vour head, and is made to revolve by machinery. All. there lore, that the operator lias tu do is to hitch this revolving hand into the groove of his drum-brush and draw it down, away it spins, the elasticity of the descending india-rubln r hand enabling the operator to shil't it about to the different parts of the head, and apply just so much pressure as is agreeable to the patient. When I went in 1o get my liair thus brushed, had sat down before Hit* glass, and had been tucked in as usual with bill and dressing-gown, the hair-dresscr took up one of his circular brushes, anil hitched it into the revolving baud over my head. In a moment 1 felt a silent fanning as if some monstrous butterfly were hovering over me ; this was the air of the twirling brush, which caught my hairup and laid it down and travelled all over my head will) incessant and gentle penetration It crept down my whiskers, and searched my beard with the same tender and yet decided eil'ecl. 'j here was no scratching, not even of the neck and ears, but the skin of cheeks and chin were reached and swept . 11 was a new sensat ion. 1 f'-lt as if I should like to be brushed continually fo.' a month. TUy attendant told me that there wasa strong opposition lo it on the part of the manual hairdressers, and that some of them had given out that the new process was certainly to produce (its. "Fits of laughter," he added, " must be meant.." 'there was certainly a sense of exhilaration in it whieh I never felt in a hairdresser's room before. The brushes are changed quite easily. T think that the shape will be modilied, and also that they must not be made to twirl so fast. Jvnui:kttk.—"\V hen your host's servant announces dinner, jump up lrom your chair, crv out in a lieartv mariner, " Off we {joes," and rush down stairs. On entering the dining room, lift up the different covers and choose your dish. When making a call, see that your boots arc quite clean before going into the house. If thoy are not, take them ofl' and request the servant, to polish them before ascending to the drawing Koom. Always carry your hat into any room, arid whirl it round and round on the handle of your .stick or umbrella; this gives an air of unconcerned good breeding- while carrying on a conversation, and lind.-s an occupation for vour hands.— Punch.

Heats Second Sight.—Two sparks from London, while enjoying themselves among the heather of Argvleshire, came upon a decent-looking shepherd rending at the top of a hill. They accosted him by remarking—" You haven line view here: you will sou a great way." " Oil aye, ou aye, a ferry great way." "Ah! you will see America lrom here." " Fairer than that," said Donald. "Ah! how's that?" " Ou, juist wait till the mist guiigs awa" an' you'll see tile inline !"

Miss Ailnh JtOi'.cs iteisken lius arrived in London from California.

On club niylitt* tJUi7 J 0 On iWist nights 1TI» 15 0 Oti rominittcc nights .... 10 17 0 Kxtni paid by members... 13 \ 0