Untitled

New Zealand Herald, Volume I, Issue 224, 1 August 1864, Page 6

the flies with his long- twl; and gazed, philosophically at the distant iands&ipe;. Bright laid down on the soft jjioiind, and indulged m a siesta. At length, u luminous idea seized Maichmont. Ho produced tmi ears of corn, mid, by lioliiing tlii .se in hi.4 two hands, anil going backward down to the intorv;de, he suec.< eded in pibting tuu animals thither without much [ trouble. Unco 011 the spot, the amateur teamster's courage j revived; he shouted "get uji," and, til the same ni"i ment, gave the oxon a smart, successive touch with the point in the end of the goad. The effect charming. Buck tlirt\w up his huge head with an angry bellow —Bright did iikpwi.se—and b >tb s~t <>J at a smart trot, bearing with them Air. Al.trchiiiuiit, wno had caught at, the horn of the spii-iied Bright. Fanner Brown was a slow, moth'tdie.il man, and, although Jib kepi up tlie olden fashion ot a •• brad" in tiie end of bis goad, lie would as soon have thought of vising it on his favourite horse a.-i on Jus sloek, tut o.\au. Is'o wonder ortniturus woi'o surprised at tlie presumption ot the new driver. Alarehmoiit kept his Jiold on Bright's horn with determined pertinacity, and tried to feel delighted with the speed hi-> team was making. At time rate all his harrowing would be tinialmtl before noon, uud leave him u chance to rest he tore dinner. His complacency was somewhat disturbed by the shout of a passing sclioolboy, •' llcllo, there, Mister ! Yer harrow's wrJrcg side U P : " But wrong side or right, it vlv,s no time to stop to rectify mistakes. " Onward" -was Alarehniont's motto just then, and it cottiu not well lie changed. He was a little dubious us to the result of tho affair ; but not so Buck and Bright. On they went—tin; extremity of the ploughed field was readied and passed—theirs was a path with 110 turning. Alitrehuiont's attempts at stopping them were futile : all lie. could do was to hold 011 ami trust to fate. Across a drain, ori-T ft low stone wail, through a yard whore an nldurly lady was spreading clothes, and into a *hod animate with fowls of the lien ■speck'.-;, went Mareliutont and his span! i'rom sheer uxhaustit.n, tin: unlucky farmer dropped oil' just outside the d'joi'; and iu bad fortune would have it lie feii directly on to a hen-coop, in which were domiciled a particularly savage hmi, «ud her newiy-hatciied bro >d ot chickens. .Madam was enraged at the intrusion, nod brought Jiyr iorccs to be.tr on tiie enemy witil spirit and address. Alarohmont l'uught wiiu both hmds, but In; was 110 match for the iuiuria:ed mother, sue peeked, kacliled, scratched, and kioljeU up suoii a dost generally, that our poor liiend was lain to call lustily tor help. A pretty, rosy-cheeked girl came out from tlie adjacent farm-house, and stood for a moment gazing ouriously on the scene. The half-suppressed merriment burst forth in a silvery laugh beiore she volimteeied her aid, and took od' tlie liuttoring bird; inquiring at tho same time it' the gentleuun had oxpeHoutwd any injury. I'oor Miirchmont! he would havo much rather boon killed in an honourable way, yarn have met tho hall'-quizzieut gaze of those black eyes fixed upon him and his disgraceful predicament. lie endeavoured to apologize tor his unceremonious entrance on his neighbour's estate, but the girl interrupted him. •' rioaso do not mention it," she said demurely — " from the kitchen window I witnessed the whole drama, and can testily that you were not to lilamo." 6s, that is—l—mti.fiiu—it could not Well be prevented," stammered our hero.

" Allow nio to assi.it you in rising." Slio hold out her small, brown hand, winch .Maiviuiuni seized us a drowning man is supposed to .vize t..n> clawical sti':nv. " Now, c<«nt< into t lit.* 1 Slid the good ftury, " you will want to wash your t\ee, i .should inm-g-iriL.-." Murohiuout followed her in, and while she war. bringing water ami toweis, he t.uok t.a: opportunity to look in the gla.-s. - th-:t slio had suggested 11 Uitli! .Marchmont was h'>miiril at iiis appearance. llis lace uud i-li:ti weie piaMeivu With mini and dirt—-his :mutaci:la;e dickey uu'.'ai! completely hind part Iml'otv, wiiii the stYiuirs Uiuii;ling down in irunt, tutd his l-.iac-k glows wen: fpiit from lingers' ends to wri.it. JSusukv., his hue Grecian nose was plowed uji by the teinciuus tuluns <>t that old hen, and tue bionu, oozing slowly down through his highly-prized moustache, gave him anything bill a pavitic appearance. 110 wandered gjri»iitlv thai the young lady was not alraid of him. Aller a plontiiul ablution, and tilt; u,>a of a eonih on his slightly disarranged hair, _\lr. Mar-hmont was more preventable; ami the young i;irl, whose name was Kloionee Mnyonght, sent her little brother, George, home with him to drive the oxen, which weie quite tractable under the discipline ot their juvenile master. And for three days afterward, Guy was confined to his lied, his impromptu ride and' its (/r/iom-iuail having heen too much for him. Ji-u instead of being disgusted with fuming, u s one wuuid naturally have tuuught he would have been, ho was charmed witii it and determined to persevere. [ He was very constant at church, though Parson Jones talked through his nose, and preacned horiibly long, dull sermons. Probably tue ringing attracted liini, for there •■'/ as a line tenor, and a clear, soil alto; but his attention was given to neither ot these; and through the "wnole service he would scarcely turn his eves fiom the beautiful face of t'lorenco lUavbrigiit, who sang the air. Uf course, he would not have acknowledged this, but then the whole congregation was aware of it; and Parson Jones was dreadtullv scandalize I by the irreverent conduct ol the new comer. .But a lifty-dollar bill, dropped into the old clergyman's hand one "collection evening," etlectually changed the current of the purson's feelings. Mr. .Vjarchniont attempted no more "harrowing" himself, but employed laiuier Ui- .wn to perform that interesting process fur him ; and afterward, with the help of a hued man, hi* planting was done and his garden made. The corn and potatoes came up beautifully, so the neighbours »a;(i, .mil the new-lle'dged farmer thought s if too. Jde his hoeing, auu (iuriug that protests Lhe potatoes. " came up' a second tune, ibr, in his zeal io exterminate the weeds, Marchmont dug up all tl.e ugly liltie plantain the notion that tliev ■were weeds too. In fact, his mistakes woie legion. lie mistook " button weeds" lor cabbage, and rice versa ; uprooted his carrots and leit the Knot grass stam.i'.ig ; poured boiling water on ills turnips to kill il,e ll\-' and perioriiiud r,ii.it operation for tue turnips, while' the Hies sailed away uniujurea. The old tanners called mm a blockhead, and the young farmers designated him " tile iJoaiuu greenhorn but the preity girls admried his handsome face and applauded his perseverance. liitheniuantime, our hero's complexion had changed from white to red; he had gained ten pouuds ol tlesh ; and had an alarming appetite, as lus 1' iench cook could testily. Marcliniout's rural friends advised him to purchase a cow. It would be so much more economical te have milk and cream at home, instead of sendiii"- out for it, they urged ; and Mr. Gray, one of those disinterested advisers, had for sale a nice, gentle creature, with a most amiable disposition, and a wonderful capacity for milk. Mr. Gray valued this admirable quadruped very highlv, but for the salce of accommodating his new neighoour, he would part with her for the small consideration of fifty dollars. j\lr. Marchmont closed the bargain at once, and " Placid" was driven over to her new quarters. 'ihe next question that aiose was a perplexing one. Who was to milk Placid !- Mrs. Grant was terrilied at the sight ol a cow, and La frolic, the cook, would not -have ventured near one lor all tiie frogs in I Christendom. Marchmont undertook the perloruij anco himself. Hut he soon found that he had niis- ! calculated his own powers, ior, do the best he could, j the little puny stream ot milk persisted in llying I everywhere savo into the pail. Into tiie face ol' the milker, over his hand.-, against thy yard fence, and oil tile ground—but inLo the pad — nlver ! At length the proverbially gentle cow became weary ot the method of piocLuun;; she elevated ncr amiable heels in tiio air, and over went the three'egged stool, over went the pail, and over went the luckless Marchmont; while Placid, totally inditferent to the ruin she h id wrought, baited from the yard, and began to devour our mend's few remaining cabbages .' One side ot the milk-pail was totally demolished ; Marchmont s patent lever watch was smashed to atoms, and there was a bump ou his head just above the organ ol sell-esteem, which would have delighted a phrenologist by its size and prominence. lhat was the last time that .Piacid was ever milked in YVcstiuore ; for the very next day alio was sold to a drovor for fifteen dollars". J. he next purchase was a pig, and from the moment ol his advent at the larm, Marchmont's peace of mind was ended. The pig was u right lively fellow, and possessed of an inquiring disposition." lie had no notion of being restricted as to territory, but required room to wpread himself and to "root," Thin.

privilege was denied him in his pen, and in consequence he w is coiHinu tiiy bre iking prison, and getting into didiouiLV which only iiis master's purse couid remedy. He devoured tile widow Jenkins' apples which were drying on a bo ird boi ire her door ; masticated .Miss Smith's oaiuroidered iiuishu collar w-iiik- k iv-is bleaching on the grass; frightened Jmi M iren's cliildrcii into hysterics ; eat up Deacon Ureen's line tomatoes, and rumaiaged the com and pol.ito.: (iei for mil.ts around, l'oor Murehimmt was ia a continual fever about that pig, from the rising of thj sun to the going down thereof. One day, lie spent half the morning in securing his pig.ship in tiu: stye, and well oau.-tied wiiai his neiiieve.'iie:it, and thoroughly tired oat, Marchmout came into tne house and Hung himself down on the soi'a. .'Scarcely had his head touched the pillow when in rushed a noigh'.iour'.s boy, exclaiming, " iiur ! that pig of yoiun is out, ami into Airs. Wallace's garden, gulping down tho beets and tommytones ! Mrs. \\ allace is raving!" Alarchmont sprang to his loot, and, coaUes'.s ami. hatioss, sallied out in tho direction of Mis. Wallace's garden. The pig tpied him coming, and, at once divining what was tip, the sagacious creature darted through a hole iit l.'ae fence, and lied down the road at tho height '6f his speed, followed closely by his proprietor. The race was a trying one. Tiggy had a wonderful facility for bounding over ditches and fences, and thou bounding' baeic again, a very vain and useless proceeding, Marchuiont thought. A woman was coining up tne road. Ocr hero saw her, and, without regard to e-?ruraony, ho cried out, " Iload him; there, ma'am! Head him! For the love of mercy, don't let him go by !" The- wemau threw down some work which she was carrying, and, seizing a stick from tho I'iedge, she did as requested. Tlie " heading" noted like a charm. The pig was surprised and nonplussed by this reinforcement of the enemy. Ho hesitated, turned, and j'ed in the opposite direction ; paying Alarchmont the compliment of u grunt in passing. Tho lady now came up, mid piggy's owner pulled out siludi-dolhu' witii tile intention of remunerating her for iuir trouble, wnen he suddenly discovered, under her sun-bonnet, that she wus none other than Florence Maybrigiit. dho blushod ; ho blushed too. ■' I beg you, Miss Maybrigiit," ho begsn, "to believe thai I did not recognize you when I made that ungeiillciiiaiily request." "I am always happy to assist one who is in dillieully," sho replied, with a serio-comic air. Alarchmont caught her hand witii ill-concouled delight. " Then stay with me forever, for I am forovcr in dillieully!" Florence cast down her eyes. " Had you not better be looking after your pig sho asked, innocently. " Confound tho pig!" It is to be presumed that tho natural charity of Florence's disposition prevailed over all other considerations, lor on New Year's lCvo she gavo hor hand to Guy Alarchmont. And later in tlie season, all Boston weru astonished by tho advent of Mrs. Atiirciunoni, the lo'veliost of all lovoly women. Frank liiatmim declares tiiat ho made the match ; and, lrom present indications, it would seem that he has a proclivity for that business, being engaged in making one witii Florence's pretty sister, >%cUio, lor himseif, Marclimont adores farming; and speaks of fanners as the only class of men m tho world worthy of trust.