COME HOME TO THE CHILDREN AND ME.

New Zealand Herald, Volume I, Issue 175, 4 June 1864, Page 4

COME HOME TO THE CHILDREN AND ME.

"\Yi: liiive alreatly, in our coiimients ujion the I n!io\*i? words, endeavoured to jjlnci! before our j readers, sonic idea of the importance of home: I anil in our 1.-i-t iu-ti.-le. specially addri-ssoil uiirI solves to fathers. :uid oil'uivd arguiiu'lits and j sm;i;estions to them of no lneaii iuijiortiuici.'. ! \\'e noiv coinpk'te our review of the words 1 " L'oine lioiiii' to the children and me." by speaking ol' the wife who utters them, and in ; endeavourim; to hold the mirror up to nature. i we shall do our best to produce not a carricatui-e. ! hut a faithful picture of the ivllerted linage —a ■ sketch from life, who>e truth will he at once i observed and ack nowlcd^etl. i ft- isevitlent that ihe first question which meets i us on tlic very threshhold of this braiu-li of our ! subject, is the one that asks, is the wit'e's i-on-j duel such that, she ran fairly and honestly utter j the words " t'oine home to the children and i nil , ." Is she herself' free from the habit of t which she would wean her husband '? Or docs i she frequently join liini in bis revels r , Ifhus- ! band and wife "row in the same, boat ;" if she j even oc<-;i.siviiallV accompanies him and yields ! to the same temptation, then such a wife may use the words at the head of this article, but'they loose their force and power, and are of uo avail at lime.-', u hen otherise they mijdit be. (Jure <;et the hnbii <jl' joiniiur the husband in drinking to excess : once become accustomed to goinjj; home with him, both beiiii; in a state of intoxij cation, a walking illustration of companionship I in vice, and her mouth is fairly closed to the i utterance of the appeal upon which we are coinI incntiu.U- Hut she may not do this, and yet be j equally out of court ; i'vr she may yield to the i bad liabii herself and indulge when not in the ! husband's company. And what a home must : that he when both father and mother are of j this character r , U hat wretchedness, misery, and dirt must be the heritage tsf the children ol' such a guilty pair: . The feeling of pity and sympathy for such 3'oiing plants, reared in such ! an unwholesome pestilential immoral adnosi phere. cannot but be evoked when their true j state is considered. ! The streets of Auckland reveal the fact that I many women among us yield to this eminently ! unwomanly vice of intoxication. And when once the tide of excess carries a woman away in its fast llowing and powerful current, she is too j frequently carried further, if" possible, from the i shore of rectitude, than is man under similar circumstances. Hence the idea is embodied in the saving that woman is either much better or much worse llian man wlien once she leaves the \ ria ~,,,/ui. the middle, and generally the safest ; path. Here is a sketch from life. That midiLle : aged woman is the mother of a family of grown I up sons and daughters, all ol' whom, as well as i her husband, are sober, steady, industrious. ! I respectable people. JSut an enemy —the love of | i Mrong drink—has her completely in his grasp. : She cannot be trusted with money. Trial alter i trial has been made, but the end has been the ; same. As the daughters have grown up. they \ have been entrusted with ilie' house-I.eeping 1 nionev. their mother receiving a small sum j weekly for her own use. When under the inliuence of her at times prevailing passion, the i j ciotlies and furniture have to be well taken care ! of lest she should l::ke them from the house and ' j sell them for drink. -She has thus to be i ' watched like a child who has not moral strength ! 10-resis! temptation. What a diilerent position I does she occupy in her household compared ! ! willi that which ought to be occupied by her as : wife and mother! rflie ought lo lie the niistres of her house, the presiding genius of' her home ; a paliei'ii for her children in all womanly duties, a being round which they can lon.liy cling in life, and whose memory after death w ill have a ; halo of goodness and gentleness shed around ii. : i a fragrance and beauty that will evereause it to i be lovingly and tenderly dwelt upon. ; .lint what dilfereut thoughts must of necessity j be entertained towards a' mother such as the : above, by both her husband ami her children. Their hearts should lor ever oe'rllow with love and alieciion ami respect for her whom they call by the most endeavouring of all wonts—• i iiiotheV. lt> very sound ouijlii to cail forth the ] tendei-est feelings of our nature, and bring forth | images of the most pleasing kind. But how is liie prosper! dimmed : how is the glory and the beauty of the picture tarnished, and faded, ami ' maried by darli spots, when, in looking back to I . Hie memory of a mother, there is so much that i ! rises before the mind that we fare not to think j • of; that we would fain draw a veil over, ami j ; banish entirely from our recollection, when con- j ! jeiiiplating that memory eclipsed with the dark i I shadow of dniiikciiess covering miiny bright and : j better parts ol a mother's nature.and a mother's j , heart. ; . jJut although there are many dark shadows of liiis kind th.-.t tliis across the landscape, yel \ there are also many bright and silvery clouds, i "Would that the former w ere less in number and j the kilter greaier. i We will now iook a) our subject from :ui(>l!ier stand point. We wili suppose Ihe wife to be a tln;roiii;i,ly sober n oii:an. t~t ill all such have no t clear practical idea as to their part in the manage- : : men!'of home, if const.ml observation is io he ' relied upon. \Vb;.t is ihe n uioii entertained bv i 111-u.y wives of what ll.at heme ought to be, to I I which tln-y invite ilieir hus'iiand to come. .For j I iii all reason and fair play, the wife should Mot enlv ,s;iv " coiae hornet.) the Children and me"; but she should, also make herself, her home, and children lit for a decent husband to come to. Ail three ought to lie clean, tidy, comfortable ; I (.-aloala'ed to entice a man to bis home rather

than drive him a-.ray fivui it, or «n gire hii an excuse for going elsewhere too much. Ihte husband comes home after a hard days -work and expects to find comfort «nd a decently pro-; pared meal, Hut how does the matter frequently stand. The house, children and wife, are ; dirty and untidv. J fit has been washing day. the house is perhaps hung round with wet clot , ie . which give hi. , " an unpleasantly damp; (lap ii. the face, each steps he takes. He has to: sit in an uncomfortable damp room, and proba- ' blv rat ;i badly cooked and untidy set out din--1 ner. The cookery L, probably of'tho worst description, much more so than many people would imagine, and much more so than it need be, if only a little more knowledge and care were exercised hv the wife. As it is the beef—steak " is almost as tough a≤ leather; the bread —if the wife bake her own, which she ought to do—is like that described by Jlood, " a heavy compound between Putty and lead." Kow it woidd be no wonder if such a course of treatment even caused a husband to uet tired of untidy, badly managed home aud children, and especially if his iuclination leaned in that direction," would he be glad to use tin , argument of his uncomfortable home as j one reason why he preferred being away from it ! so much. ! 2\'ow a little thought and management, and I care and labour on rhe part of the wife, might I very often indeed make home vastly more eoni- ' lortable than it too frciucntly is. Half the time I that many a Mrs. Brown spends in talking to Mrs. .lone* about .Mrs Smith's all'airs, would be unite siiliicient to make herself, her home and I children verv dilleiviii t<. a i,at (iu-y often are. '•Prevention" is heiii-r ii:an cure" is a proverb j which all wives and mothers would do well to ! 7-cmcmbcr. and especially all young wives. For ! they have, in reality, very much more power over ■ their husband than either they or their husband ' are at all aware of. Hence the remark of a ; shrewd wife, "I rule my husband by making I him fancy he rides me." " And so might many j others of "the weaker vessels do likewise, had they j onlv judgement and strong common sense. It is then in the power of many a young wife to have a very great re.-lraiuing influence on her husband. a"nd eoMMdcrabie strength in drawing him home and making him fond of and pleased with it. lint there are many young women who. before I marriage, are clean and neat in their persons, I and also in their homes at those times when they J expected him to whom they were engaged to be I married to visit (hem. There was no slip shod j untidvness then. The woman's nature instinci lively suggested the propriety of cleanliness and tichness'before marriage. They added to the charms then. it is a jjrea-t mistake in woman j gradually to lose sight of this after their im.rriaue. The same habits of personal and household cleanliness and lidyness that were preI vjously formed, and which were most probably I kept up tor some lime after the husband and ! wife went to their new home, will ever be pleasing I to and admired by every right thinking man. I And the great object of the wile ought to be to ! make her home so bright, so smiling, so cheerful I and full of happiness, that her husband, as he ! comes from work or from a journey, should be i very firmly convinced that there is no place like home, and" especially like his home. One word with respect to economy. We have pointed out the necessity of a habit of saving. The wife can greatly aid in this most important subject. In many houses there are two great evils frequently met with. A great deal of waste through carelessness and ignorance ; and a bad habit .■;!' sometimes feasting at one end of the week, no matter how things may be toward the middle of it, or at the other end. Such a little work as Soyer's shilling cookery book, would point out ways of management that would end in a considerable saving. And in this, as in other matters, husband and wife should not be pulling at opposite ends of the rope. Trille.s should never be neglected by either. We may well conclude by remarking, that the little rivulets that wander along in obscurity constantly join other larger streams, and so mighty rivers are formed. The boundless waters of the ocean are made up of tinv drops of water —the highest mountains in the univ crse arc only collections of atoms. Large savings are only a collection of small savings. These truths and remarks are trite and homely, but if they set only a i'cw thinking mere about their home and how to make it happy and comfortable, they will not have been penned ill vain.