MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Gazette and Wellington Spectator, Volume III, 14 December 1842, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

EXPEDIOUS RIQGINQ-OUT AN OLD VESSEL.— A somewhat ludicrous affair has taken place at the harbour. The ship Alita, from Glasgow, has been discharging timber at the East Harbour, and the crew were busy making ready to bring her round to the Tide Harbour* when a decentlooking countryman steppedon board and asked permission to light his pipe.- No fire being in the ship, he was told to go down below, where he would find means for striking a light. Meantime the ship hove off, and the sailors forgot j any stranger being on board. Sometime after that, one of the men observed a somewhat portly looking- person emerging from the cabin — externally he resembled very much the captain, but the captain had been on deck for some time, and was at the very moment present. Struck with amazement, the honest tar went boldly forward and seized a bundle of papers that protruded from the pocket of the new captain, and instantly sounded the alarm .of a "shark" being on board. The real captain stepping forward, discovered -his ship papers uncerinoniously scattered on the deck. The tars' now gathered round: one spied something very like the jacket he had lately thrown off sticking partly out of one of the gentleman's pockets; another looking into -his breast discovered something like, the vest he wore, .and which was' neatly placed below another which the captain laid hold of as his. A general unrigging then commenced, .when the whole mystery. was. cleared I up. v While the crew.had been busy oil deck, the man had been not less busy below the deck. He had first stripped himself of his own clothes, and then proceeded to pile on waistcoat above •waistcoat, the pockets' of which ; h'e stuffed with everything that came in 'his way; 'knives, tinders, | brushes — in' short,; everything he could stow into them — and, over all ; put the captain's coat, into the pockets of .winch he' stuffed- all,' the papers he could lay his hands on,~and crammed over these as many jackets as he couldfind. To crown; all, he put on the captain's .new hat. Carefully tying his old clothes up in a bundle, and his old hat in hand, he marched on deck, thinking he had nothing to do but step on shore. But unfortunately for his escape, the .vessel wanted a few yards of the quay, and he was 'thus frustrated in getting on shore, and' the whole affair discovered. He was compelled to ! change his regimentals on deck, to the no small ■ amusement of numerous spectators. From, document* found in his possession, he appeared to have been for some time a Sheriff's officer in Aberdeen, and went by the name of James M'Ritchie. He was marched off to the policeoffice; but the impression seemed to be that he !', exhibited symptoms, of insanity in a slight degree.; — Dundee paper. "Jack, your wife is not' so pensive as she used to be.!' "No : she's left off, and turned [ tarnation expensive." - • . • A Spirited, Repiy.—-'" Doctor,". said a j. hard-looking brandy-faced, customer, yesterday to a physician, "Doctor, I'm troubled with an oppression, an uneasiness about the breast. What do you suppose the matter 'is?" "-All very easily accounted for;," -said the physician, " you have water on thexhestj"* " "Water ! Come, that '11 do well enough for a joke ; but how could I get water on my chesty when I hav'rit touched a drop in fifteen years ? If you had said brandy, you might nave hit it." — 'Neu York paper. - •