It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume XVIII, Issue 956, 7 November 1918, Page 26

It is Town Talk

—That John Bull gets his Turkey well before Christmas this year.

—That the Government is short of inspectors owing to the war. The war must be stopped at once.

—That the Germans sneered at "These lightning-trained Yankees." But the Yanks are doing "thundering" well.

—That equality is the watchword of Socialism. But just try and get a draught horse to' win the New Zealand Oup. /

—That an exhibition of a bust of the Kaiser caused great indignation in Brussels. The Belgians have had enough of this ruffian on the bust. —Tliat the British War Office paid onl_y £285 to inventors last year. It seems very little, but, of course, inventors of war rumours are not paid by the War Office. —That no one .yet has found out why the same crowd that- yells itself hoarse at a football match or on the race course can't give lip to a single cheer when "Our Boys Gome Marching Home Again." —That all the Hohenzollern princes are likely soon to> be out of a billet and may even have to work for their living. That will be something new for the AllHighest family. That the Health authorities are blamed by the public for introducing virulent influenza to New Zealand by letting the Niagara berth alongside the wharf in Auckland. —That the Prime Minister was a' good. bit previous in wiring to> the Imperial Government to allow the Anzacs to man the forts at the Dardanelles. The New Zealand parents of the Anzacs prefer to have their boys home again as soon as the war is over.

—That it is the fun of the world just now to read of the German Government "energetically protesting" against the Hungarian Government seizing provisions, locomotives and waggons and other supplies. The Chief Robber blames his mates for practising the lessons he taught them.

—That 38,000 petitions for divorce were recently filed in Petrogi'ad. Can't any two people in Russia agree on anything ?

• —That Germany will speak the last word in this war" (vide the Kaiser, January, 1918). The word will be "Kamerad !"

—That Fritz is scampering so fast before the Yanks to the Vaterland that the Sammies can't keep up with his rearguards.

—That Poland is coming into her own at last. The Allies have recognised the Polish Army fighting in Russia as a co-belligerent.

—That the timber-yards fire off Tara-naki-street on Guy-' Fawke's night was the greatest Fifth of November bonfire Wellington has ever- had.

—That Kaiser Bill seems to be giving "the good old German Gott" no peace just now. Always on his knees when he isn't reading the Bible.

—That Mr. John Payne advocates a Socialist State for Germany, the Socialists to work four hours a day for the State and the other four hours a day to pay off the Allies' War indemnity. Yes," why not? But will this not make 'Enery of the Grey rather angry?

—That the "Red Fed." leaders in Wellington, who have espoused the "Bolshevik high ideals," might inform the public at the Alexandra Hall on Sunday night whether they aim at introducing the Bolshevik gospel of free love into New Zealand. Vide recent cables from Russia about the Bureau of Free Love.

—That the Trentham Band gave the Prime Minister and the Mayor an object lesson on Monday in the way to receive returned soldiers and to work enthusiasm over victory. Turn out the bands every time to meet the homecoming boys and then mayhap the stolid citizens will learn once more how to cheer.

—That John Payne, M.P., has just received a great compliment. That Bolshevik organ (the, "Maoriland Worker") attacks him tooth and nail. It says also "The Labour Party is opposed to Mr. Payne, as far, at any rate, as the member for Grey Lynn can be taken seriously, which is not very far." The only Labour Party the "Worker" speaks for is the "Red Fed." crowd. The "Wucker" also says: "The question on which Mr. Payne is most hopelessly at variance) with the workingclass movement is that of 'Internationalism." "Internationalism" is probably another name for 1.W.W.ism.

—That a question perplexing the minds of Base Records Brass Hats at present is: "What is the reasonable life: of a pencil? It is considered that Liie stall use up too many lead-pencils. .Surely the staffs have not been overworking their pencils !

—That New Republics are springing up in Central Europe and in the Balkans at such a rapid rate that when this war is over King George of England and the Kings of Spain and Italy will feel rather lonely. Even Kaiser Bill would be glad to save something out of the wreckage by becoming first President of the German Republic.