It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume XVI, Issue 839, 4 August 1916, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That the Irish Problem will remain a problem as long as Irishmen are Irish.

—That the shortness of the modern skirt is not wholly due to the high cost of living. „

—That German flocks and herds are sadly diminishing. The Kaiser and all the other hogs are at the front.-

—That the defenders of Pozieres ■were picked troops all right—picked off by the London Tommies and the Anzacs.

•—That with the advent of spring arises the old question: "What to do with our girls?" The obvious answer is; Marry 'era.

—That a local nurseryman has named a potato "Sir J. G. Wilson." We expect soon to hear of a "Sir W. C. Buchanan turnip.''

—That a Sydney woman "broke eleven seconds" over the measured 100 yards. The name of the gentleman she chased is omitted.

—That in China the highest rank of social life is only open to highly-edu-cated men; mind being considered superior. to wealth there.

—That we hope the fine speeches and brave resolutons made on this second great anniversary will he backed up by plentiful enlistments of the eligible class.

• —That the men who are forcing on a Dardanelles Commission at this awkward stage would have done better. to Itave gone out to Gallipoli—<ind stayed there.

—That there have been quite a number of reports lately of the merging of certain shipping companies. The ruling: high freights must be kept up somehow.

—That since Sunday golf was prohibited on certain of our links some devotees of the game have been asking one can really -worship as he pleases in this free Dominion.

—That a propos of the murder of Captain Prvatt, a certain American deblares : N "The world's execration will rmnish Germany." Tut! tut! Murderers are not "usually let off so lightly.

—That a, German named Geisel has been contributing false information concerning the Allies to certain American papers. The usual Hun-reliable correspondent. "Geisel" is rather suggestive of "Guile."

—That the Crown Prince's prodigious waste of life in his # great offensive at Verdun, has ended in no material gain to Germany, which but proves that the Kaiser's son and heir is'an executioner, not a general.

—That if the report of a shipment of drapery goods having arrived in Dunedin from Germany by way of America is true theT consignee should be sought out and tarred and feathered in the good old-fashioned way.

—That a Mr. Glass, giving evidence before the American Printing Paper Commission, alleges that there has been conspiracy at work to increase the price of paper. Mr. Glass, presumably, can see through these underhand methods.

—That England's Ben Tillet states: "We i trade unionists are coercionists, and in a strike, absolute conscriptionists. and God help anybody who is a 'conscientious objector.' " There's a cough-drop for the Red Feds and antimilitarists .

—That Prime Minister Asquith says that crimes like the shooting of Captain Fryatt shall not go unpunished. When Kaiser Bill swings for the Fryatt murder we shall look to Mr. Asquith to declare a whole holiday for universal rejoicing.

—That many of our boys_ writing from France remark with pride that New Zealand girls hare nothing to fear from comparison with their English and Continental sisters. This is reassuring /news for the girls they left behind them in Maoriland.

—That when Town Clerk Palmer indited his courteous invitation on Tuesday last for Sir Frederick Lang (Mr. Speaker of the House) and Lady Lang to attend in the Town Hall the second anniversary of the Declaration of War, he was obviously unaware that Sir Frederick is still a bachelor, and that "Lady Lang" has yet to be found.

—vThati this spring a young man's fancy should turn to thoughts of enlisting. .—That men with a large family will not be accepted as soldiers. Does this exempt a man with a fifteen-stone wife ? —That the Huns are inventing a submersible Zeppelin. Since which announcement the Allies have submerged five of them.