It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume XVI, Issue 839, 28 July 1916, Page 26

It is Town Talk

—That all of us look daily for. good news from Somme —where in France. —That 'tis better to have gone out and: died than never to have gone at all. —That the old proverb must soon be amended to: "All roads lead to Berlin." —That a little change is a pleasant thine:; but a big bank balance is far better. —That at the outset Germany wanted the earth. Now she will be content with a peace. —That skirts this season are to be less extreme. Those we have seen so far are extremely less. —That cartwheel hats are latest in millinery in England.. 'Tis quite true, women's fashions are ever taking a new turn. —That many of our conscientious objectors would enlist quickly enough—if they were sure of failing in the medical test. —That no more Rhodes scholars will he accepted from Germany. Oxford has no room in its curriculum for kultur. —-That since King Constantino had to" yield to the pressure of the Allies he has mostly been stewing in his own Greece. —That "Protect your Skin" is an advertisement which seems to hold out direct encouragement to "conscientious objectors." —That for striking a match during a recent 'Zeppelin raid on England a man has been sent to gaol for a month. This is no light sentence. —That the report that the Austrians have commandeered a famous peal of bells t6 melt into ammunition is surely a sign of the chimes (hie). —That many women are now employed in Wellington's G.P.O. in place of men. No longer can we call them the weaker sex since some of them are carrying the mails. —That single eyeglasses are becoming milch in vogue with women. This need not occasion surprise; many women claim to be able to see through mankind with only half an eye. —That the writer of angling notes in a southern paper asks readers to supply particulars of any big catches they make. There are fish stories in plenty surely without asking for them. —That one of the Zeppelins in a recent raid on Old England dropped one hundred bombs without a single casualty resulting. We presume, however,, that the Hun bomb-throwers managed to hit the earth. —That the Federation of Labour asks: ' 'Are you -in favour of a general strike as a means of preventing the enforcement of the Military Service Act?" There's room for the . gentleman who wrote that at Somes Island. 1 —That the arrival in Wellington of an ocean tramp from America wearing a German-sounding name was viewed with dark suspicion by local watersiders. This, ' despite that the Stars and Stripes floated above the name-plate. —That the Kaiser declares that "the inscrutable Almighty" has willed that he should not take his _ place in _ the trenches. Certain conscientious objectors are welcome to the .Arch-Assassin as the latest recruit to their ranks. —That the fears of the cheese factories through a shortage of rennet are not shared by New Zealand's housekeepers. The rumoured shortage might have the effect of bringing the price of butter down to a more, reasonable level. —That the Germans have just passed la law whereby an unmarried mother of a war baby may take the dead father's name provided she can prove that an engagement existed. Surely the offspring .is conclusive enough proof of that. —That the Germans hung out another message for the Anzacs when they arrived in France, hut its purport was not cahfled to us, although it was far wittier than the one that, was cabled. It was written on a blackboard, and ran: "Advance Australia —if you can!" Australia, with the help of New Zealand, has since shown that she can.

—That talk is not when the other man is your lawyer. —That the Hun War Lords are beginning to discover a. close connection between feud and food. —That it doesn't require an eye specialist to inform us that short skirts are good for tired eyes. —That Hunland is taking a rabbit census. Truly the Huns know the resources of their country to a hare. -—That money will buy many useful and pleasant things—but not the privilege of having fought in the Great "War. —That a patriot is a man who spends his time between cheering the Union Jack and grumbling at the income tax. —That many recruits "deferred—now fit" remainvaluable additions to medical officers' - saflaries. One man—four exams.—one pound. —That "Dame Fashion demands that women shall have a waist this season," says a fashion paper. It is not yet known where it will be, however. —fThat- though the agitation for the earlier closing of hotel-bars might possibly he successful, it is not correct to Bay that it's all over bar shouting. -—That a sure way to contract red hair is to sleep out on the beach at Lyall Bay. How's that? Well, can't you see it for yourself—"sandy" hair? -—That Russia will construct (35 new railways. And the capital city of New Zealand has still to be content with two old barns outside the town instead of one central railway station! —-That incubators, it has been discovered, were in use in Egypt so long agoas three thousand years. We reckon we sampled some chickens from those incubators when dining table d'hote one evening last week. —That the worship of the- lapdog has surely reached its climax when one of London's best-known ladies in Smart Society has set the fashion of having some of her Pekinese's teeth removed and replaced by gold ones. „ —That the French captured another 1000 metres from the Germans on the Western front the other day. Now we begin to understand l, why the Huns' gas attacks are having no effect on our offensive —;they are running out of ' 'meters. " v —That the Wesleyan Conference sitting in London urges the British Government to enforce total prohibition for the remainder of the war and for six months thereafter. Our Wesleyan brethren are growing extremely modest. Why not ask for total prohibition for ever and ever ?

—That Miss Decollete is a girl who wears—not mucli. —That men of the Kaiser High Canal Meet are hack again employing! their leisure growing vegetables. Heave a hob, my hearties 1 -That the huce ..number of motor cars being imported into this country seems to show that the tax on war profits has not ruined all our business men after all.