Training the Teuton Twig.

Free Lance, Volume XV, Issue 789, 13 August 1915, Page 17

Training the Teuton Twig.

WHEN will the war be finished, puppa?" "That is a question, my son, which lies in the lap of the Emperor, his General Staff and our German God.'' ''But why does i'b not end, when we have captured Paris and London?" "Because these are merely strategical victories, which, do not affect the ultimate result." ""Wlhat is a strategical victory, puppa?" "A bloodless one, which is planned and won by the General Staff many miles behind the fighting line, and proclaimed to the world by the Wolff Bureau." "What is the Wolff Bureau?" "A rrreat and glorious institution, my son, the most powerful weapon of the Fatherland, which provides news for the German people, the inhabitants of neutral countries, and the enemy, of the victories which we would like to win. It is, indeed, the voice of our noble Emperor proclaiming the thoughts of his heart inspired bv his deepest wishes. It is the very pulse of oiir Empire, and of our army and jaavy. By its wonderful power defeats" are converted into victories, losses into ' gains, and routs into strategical retreats; enemy ships are sunk or taken, and men and munitions are captured. Its greatness cannot be told, my son, but so long as it exists our army and navy can never be defeated'. They could repulse the attacks of the whole world."

.""W'hat is meant by repulsing an attack?"

"To repulse an attack is -the Gei~man military expression for to be driven back by the enemy."

"But does that not mean, to retreat, puppa?" "There is no such word applicable to our army. "We may evacuate a position for strategic reasons, but retreat, never."

"What are the asphyxiating gases c.f which they talk so much?"

"They are gases used by us to kill our enemies painlessly. If they should happen to be used by our enemies, they would cause a slow, lingering death of fearfufl! agony, and would constitute barbanc warfare', which is prohibited by the Hague Convention. And we would most certainly protest." ""What was the Hague Convention?"

"A meeting of the representatives of the Powers of the world, at which the rules for the conduct of war were drawn ap, and signed." "And did the representative of the Fatherland sign them?" "Oh, yes, my son, he did so to please the others, but he made a mental reservation that only in the event of the Geirmans being victorious in warfare would -they agree to the rules."

' 'And did the other representatives do the same, punna?"

"Certainly not, my son. They are bound by these rules whether victorious or defeated. We would certainly protest and employ measures of reprisal if any attempt was made to disregard them." "But perhaps they made mental reservations also ?" "No, no, my son. They did not have the intelligence nor the foresight. They were not Germans." "Are we, then, better than they, puppa?" "I am surprised to hear you ask such a question. Has not your teacher told you that there never has been nor ever will be such a race of supermen as the German people. Did we not heroically sink the Lusitania ? Good-night, my son. Gott strafe England I"