IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume XIV, Issue 695, 25 October 1913, Page 26

IT IS TOWN TALK

a t a , well-known skipper of one of Wellington's fastest- yachts has had the iqck 'to strike a 20 pound dir. in Tatt's.

—-That the reason why a lot of people ojunt on their fingers is because their nageis are the handiest thing they have.

—That though there was no' firing of gjins in Wellington on Trafalgar Day, there was-a very liberal display of bunting. ' .

* . Duchess of Fife's trousseau includes 28 evening dresses. The other three days of the month will be spent at home.. * v • •

: —That according to the "Dominion" the Britannia gift aeroplane has been 'safely housed.' _ New Zealand is not taking any risks with it just at present.

i . ) —That m a matrimonial causes case likely to be tried yery shortly it is pre posed to admit a certain moving picture publicly shown as evidence. Sooner or later private sleuths will buy picture machines. .

."—That Wellington's naicest people will be interested t6 learn that the timehonoured finger-bowl has been banished from.the tables of. the most select English "succles." This reform is timely. Otherwise' the tooth-brush should be introduced to keep the finger-bowl company.

—That judging by the results achieved by a travelling photographer on a business trip to New Plymouth, the inhabitants of Oilandbutteropolis just about takv the biscuit' for vanity. He was there for two or three ■; months, and in that time he took 2400 physiogs. The majority of the photos were of young, men. verily the New Plymouth knuts must be beautiful.

- - -That at a performance of "The Quaker Girl" by the Williamson Company at" Palmerston North one* evening last week, there were over 70 private motor ' cars drawn up .outside waiting for their owners, whp were inside seeing the show. .Reckoning the cars at an average value of £500 each, they represented £35,000. The landed Manawatu squires evidently know'how to get about.

—That a propos of' the Davev Tramway Bill, which bans the deadly footboard, Mr. Isitt asked the Minister for Public Works the other night if the Minister will also bring in legislation to do away with the Bunny Hug and the Turkey Trotr Evidently the member for Christchurch treats the Bill as a fit subject for jest. Ask the Wellington City Council where the joke comes in.

—That two sisters who attempted" to commit suicide by throwing themselves into an ornamental lake in a New York park came out again. They said- the water tasted nasty. This is as bad as the.would-be suicide, of whom it ,is jokingly said th'at he tried to find a watery grave in Port Nick, but he changed his mind because the water was too cold. The victim of this joke is still alive and kicking.

—That a steward in the P.'cton-Wel-lington service received a cruel Bhock .a trip _or two. ago. - He had been very attentive-' to a likely-looking . passenger crossing the. straits, and he shadowed the prospective tip "down the gangway withluggage and umbrella. Tha traveller thrust a threepenny bit into the expectant hand, the disappointed owner of which couldn't restrain from remarking, "Half a mo. mister, till I get you the change." Bhp Who was the paesengerP

■ That the appalling - punishment of bigamy is two mas-in-law.

—That though: the postman may not b& a-, flirt, all the girls get love letters trom him. ' _

—That some people stick so closely to the truth that there's no getting it out of them!

■—That.the cost of living in .Manches- £^.' s reported to be remarkably cheap. Children there are admitted to the pic-ture-shows at two a penny.

That the cable man has commenced cabling out the latest Parisian fashions, liie sensational item of the week was that stays are to be worn lower. Masculine . Wellington will discard their high-bust P.D.'s forthwith. .

That the following, is a choice sample or a mixed metaphor' as given by a Cubastreet corner orator last Sunday night: In all these cases, they put forward a catspaw 'to bark up the wrong tree." This will take some beating.

That archery is being revived in certain districts up country. Here is additional pleasure for our country cousins. Instead of dodging to one side to escape the scooting motor, they may be punctured by a stray arrow from some garden-party. "

That opals and rubies, according to & par in a "local social column, are very popular just now. We should smile. So are diamonds and other valuables.

That it-is claimed that the new Russian destroyer. Novifc is the fastest ship in the world. In the. event of another war with Japan it will be a good ship to / ran away in.

, That one of'the.- latest immigrants has an original scheme. He is gomg in for dairy farming,, but he will dispense with cows. He has great faith in milking machines. v .

Bombita., most 'famous of bpamsh bull-fighters, is about to retire. He has- killed in his time. 3000 bulls. There should.be a good opening for him at the Wellington abattoirs.

, ■ That a cheap and effective substitute i? r ,P et , rol - J? a s just been discovered in .bngland. To those who own motor cars, or hope to. this is more important than the news that butter and eggs are down a shade.. * -

That an American recently made a meal of a 121b turkey, five green peppers, two loaves of bread, eleven b:g Irish potatoes fourteen slices of tomatoes with cu n dressine. and: drank ten bottles Si 4 eer^,. He . did is for a of £4. ■*■>-£>•—lnis is an American yarn.

- —That the oomplete success of th© suffragette movement: will not "banish bargain-counters or fortune-tellons.--. -

—That Mcs.- Pankhurst has been admitted to the United Stateß. TJnclo Sams troubles are just beginning.-

—That a defendant in a southern court the other day urged that he had work to go to. When asked his occupation, ho replied l that he was an organ, grinder —That out of 42 of the force who- qualified for promotions, only 21 were Irishmen. Bedad, the foorce is going to the divill -

—That a New York parson has a swimming pool in" his manse where he teadhes the girls of. his"congregation to' swim. Here s a hint for. local imitation. ~ •according to the "Dominion®* the other-morning the Cricket Association s meeting lapsed for Vant of a quorum. This was indeed news for members of the Association, who ttat> me^ si—That at a sale of. lost goods tho other day a certain Civil Servant bid for what appeared a likely looking package. The Customs duty on it was 7s, Bo he thought if he offered another 6s on top of. that he would be getting a bargain. He did i 2' an Snl t wa ? knocked down to. him for ids. When he opened it, it contained so ™e Parisian face cream, worth about a shilling. He doesn't find it very sootbmg at the price. -

t j the Anti-Vaccination League ot London has . been circularising the Zeulal l d Papers with respect to email-pox and vaccination the reoenfc ware m Sydney and New Zealand. This particular Aati League asks in its circular to _the Free Lancb~: "Why did the general public allow themselves to frightened that they rushed in thousands to be vaocinatedP" Well, what-if the public did allow themselves to do so? What has it got to do with the London. anti-vacs? Why should they : get up in arms' about it?