IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume IX, Issue 454, 13 March 1909, Page 22

IT IS TOWN TALK

— That Dr. Mason is going up to the Waiotapu tree-planting station. Why What's he been up to now ? —That wheat is rising, and flour is bound to follow suit. Good news for the farmer, but a dearer loaf for the working man. — That Tom Wilford is back m town again. No one is cut up about it. By the way, Tom leckons he ought to be fit enough foi the mayoralty this trip. — That Wadestown folk became excited over their tramway poll last Saturday. It would be awful luck to lose it after the way they rallied on the 'Subject. — That Emma Gokhnann, the Anarchist lecturer and writei , is coming to- God's Own Country. Even Mr. Massey will probably pale into insignificance. —That the Wellington landscape is variegated just now with volunteer finery, and the odour of gunpowder fills the atmosphere all the way from Trentham. — That the elevation of the Son C H. Mills to the Legislative Council didn't surprise anyone. The public had sorted him out for the position long since. — That it is proposed to found and endow a children's cot at the Wellington Hospital as a means of perpetuating the memories of the Penguin's heroic stewardesses. All New Zealand will approve the scheme. — That the number of fires in the Dominion has suddenly become abnormally large. What is the cause? Has the firemen's shivoo in, Auckland inything to do with it? Perhaps, the incendiary rat that prowls around with matches m its mouth is taking advantage of the firemen's absence.

— That the Hon. C. M. Luke is recovering, and we've not heard a soul complain about the good news. — That the Karon section of oui tiamways doesn't pay. The reason is obvious — too many leadheads out that way. — That the mayoial situation will soon be capable of apt illustration by Tennwins line "0, the wild chaige they made'" — Th.it "still they go" is the woid with legaid to the Civil Seivice letuements The fluttering in the _ dovecotes still continues. Piomotion is the oidei of the day. — That the Methodist Conference passed a vote of censure on the nation for not going to chuich. But what is the cause? They didn't bur>row into that problem. — That the No-License workers are early off the mark getting ready for the next election. Makes many a mouth run dry at the prospect of what may befall "Wellington. — That Kha.ndallah is to have a bowling club. And why not? With the increasing male population out there something must be done to keep the gentlemen from idleness. — That the rush for afternoon tea has fallen off this week. The average girl has been rushing to Trentham instead. A few engagements are likely to be announced later on. — That Mrs. Matthews, of Spxing Creek, Blenheim, has presented Mis J Hamiam with £50, as a lecogmtion °f her assistance to Mastei Ellis Matthews, at the Pengui2i wicck. — That Keir Hardie will be wishing himself back in Wellington if he strikes any more English undergrads. A tip out of a motor car is a meie ciicumstance when compared with a baptism of ovei -proof eggs. — That the whole weight of the Medical Association is to be hurled against "quacks." Well, if the said Medical Ass. don't do something soon the "quacks" will be the best advertised people in these parts. — That Inspector "Jimmy" Doyle is rounding up dog owners just now for theii taxes. Wish "Jimmy" had power to le\y a tax on cats. We could put him on to a district where the Council would make a foitune in "cat -calls."

— I'hat the country printer is making the Hon. D. Buddo unduly famous. Hp is now "the Minister for Wealth " — -That the College youth of raw 18 who won the Maiathon race at Auckland has made the old peds. look silly. — That Queen Alexandra's charming bonk of photogiaphs is published on an entiiely new system. The puichaseis got all the loyalties. —That the clothes-line thief has been hard at work at Newtown. Haid luck when the comely matron's weekly wash of linen disappears. — That tlie idea of departmental coaching foi the exams, of the Postal and Telegraph Department is a splendid one. Conimonrsense and shrewdness are behind xhe scheme. — That Dr. Frengley has broken out on the Pure Milk question There's one thing about this business — the more hands we get on the rope the sooner we shall pull success out of it. • — That the suggestion that the Penguin stiuck the Rio Loge wreckage in Cook Strait on the night of February 12th is very far-fetched indeed. Let the guessers have another try. — That a clairvoyant may not aiecessanly have second sight in spelling For instance, one on Lambton Quay has got a sign in the window with the Mount of "Oppollo" clearly defined. — That Mr. Maughan Barnett had a good hearing at his final organ recital. It is generally hoped that a now series of recitals mil be inaugurated. No one sustained personal damage as a result of the last one. — That Captain Jones, of the Duchess, kept the Prohibitionist's going with temperance speeches at the moonlight trip on Thursday night. How long has the genial skipper been wearing the blue ribbon? —That Auckland has caught the Maiathon fevei and had a big race last Saturday. Wellington is slow in getting a move on at the Maiafchon business. Wheie are our Dorandos* 3 Can't v,<? do better than 10th and loth in the race? — That the Scottish Rugby Union has suffoied badly from "gate on the biain" ever since it was too canny to take the chance of scooping in that record T3lll Black" gate at Edinburgh It now wants full details of the "All Blacks' " gates. It misses tho?^ bawbees sairlv. ye ken.

— That the Thorndon Swimming Club provided some excellent sport on. Saturday last. Miss Cunninghame's diving was easily the big attraction. — That the petitions against the agelimit retirements are increasing. Supposing one of them was successful, what sort of a time would Cabinet get? There would be petitions all day long. — That summer has come in late. We've been having King's weather for a long spell now. Can it be that Captain Edwin is serving out his best sto?k m vww of his early retirement- p — That the West Coast is grizzling because the G-ovoi nment can't see its nay t r > spend a cool twenty thousand on improvements to Okarita harbour. It ought to be Kaiwarra's turn .next. — That comedian Willie Percy is still paving the penalty of popularity. For the second time a crazy asylum patient nisis+s on being his mother, although Ins own mother died sixteen years ago. --That, as the Hon. T. W. Hislop woi-'t face the fifth mayoral term, Dr. Nenman is willing to take on the contract He thinks he can physic the Corporation into more vigorous health — That Mr. Yung-liang Hwang <"how do you say it?) gave some solid talk at the Methodist Conference on the subject of opium. By the way, this gentleman has much polish and diplomacy about his person. — That laihvav shunting on the New Zealand railways still carries on its deadly work. At Marton Junction, on Saturday a porter lost his right arm Can nothing be done to protect the lives of railway servants? — That Newtown is having greatness thrust upon it. Half the North Island papers have credited our suburb with turning out Rifleman Boys, the successful shot at Tientham. What will Auckland's Newton say to this? — That Mr. Massey's advice to Sir Joe to "keep cool" sounds just off the ice. The probabilities are that Mr. Massey's temperature is degrees above the Prime Mmistei's just now. The increase or party strength has overborne him with excitement.

The best thing for nervous, pale young girls is Steams' Wine, for it increases their strength, rpnews and enriches the blood and sharpens the appetite. It is a matchless tonic. — Advt.