All Sorts Of People

Free Lance, Volume VIII, Issue 403, 21 March 1908, Page 4

All Sorts Of People

MR. J. F. KIRBY, manager of the labour department of the Union Steamship Company, has two mottoes. The first is "Full-speed ahead!" It is more than, a motto with him ; it is a moving punciple. Hence you always find the genial and glowing J. F. K. arnving just a little late for lunch, and a littlie more late " for evening dumar But wheai lie does breast the table he keeps the com pany going all right, aaid the meal fairly sizzles with laughter. J. F. Rirby has a red, red face, and merry blue eyes that spell "good cheer" to anyone he takes to. He has boxed the ooanpass in his time, and gathered song and story in every clime. Consequence is that he is a kind of pocket edition of Mel. B. Sptrnr, and can, entertain with tales of travel and adventure, humor, pathos, etc., at a minute's notice. * » • In his work he's a hustler. His crest is a steamer, with a red funnel, and the almost omnipotent letters (in this country) TJ.S.S. Co., and the employees of the company know him, and he knows the employees of the company. In some instances, perhaps, better than their fathers and) mothers know them. He's seen, them in. the Arbitration Court on the wharf, in the ship's hold, and about # the cook's galley. He's known their working capacity to the last half-ounce for years past, and keeps a mental register relative to Bill Jones and Tom Brown that is as infallible as the Pope himself. * • • J. F. Kurby has another motto. It concerns his general principles and the affairs of his company. It is : "A shut mouth catches no flies." And you can't draw him on his company's business. He went Home to the great Maritime Conference last year with Sir James Mills, and there he imbibed so. much of the statesman's atmosphere that he seals up like an oyster if you probe him on a tender spot. But, as previously remarked, he'll make up for it all as a brilliant raconteur. • • • J. F. K. doesn't mind telling a tale against himself. One of such tales is to the effect that when he boards ship at Dunedin ''his home) to come North the officials rm board! will often say: "Hullo, where are you making fox now ?" The reply has often been : "Oh, I'm just going up to relieve So-an-so at Wellingtoni." The air of importance had nettled one of the ship's officers considerably, and one morning J. F. K. carried his portsaanmy on board at Dunedin to the accompaniment of the same question. J. F. replied as usual, "Oh, Fm going up to Wellington to relieve Mr. Sorandso 1' "Oh," said the officer, "We all thought you were going up to relieve Seddon this time!" * « • Dead. — Captain A. Kennedy, one of the most ancient of New Zealand mariners, favourably known since the early fifties, and regretted by shippeople and land-lubbers, too. Seems strange that the steamer Nelson, which was brought out from London in 1854 by Captain Martiin (Captain Kennedy being first-mate) should not have been able to get enough trade to keep her going in the New Zealand coastal trade, although she was only about 215 tons burthen. Anyhow, she was sent back to London. • • • Captain Kennedy was the master of that quaint old steam-ketfctle, the Wonga Wonga. The old 1 salt was never in want of a ship, and he knew the New Zealand coast as well as any man who ever sailed it. From the Wellington/ Steam Navigation Company to the Union Company was an easy step, and it took place in 1876. Everybody liked the old skipper, who was well known anywhere where water met land in New Zealand. • • • Mr. Kennedy was an Argyleshire Scot, and his sons inherited his caution, his business aptitude, and the qualities that mode him a decent body. Everybody knows Mr. W. A. Kennedy, the local manager for the Red Funmel Company. He is is not doing any harm. Then there is Mr. A. E. Kennedy, another son, who is going well in, the Public Works Department, and Mr. A. E. Kennedy, of the Colonial Secretary's office. There are three daughters, one being Mrs. Huntly Elliott, of Christchwoh.

Little "Charlie" Wheeler of the "Times," who has been made editor of the "Railway Review," vice Furioso Hornsby, M.P., who has lost a fat thing by being too fierce, is a young journalist of English birth, which, of course, is not his fault. Charlie comes from Gloucestershire, where W. G. Grace and Gilbert Jessop bloom. He journalised oar the Auckland. "Herald," and took Parliamentary notes for them. When the "Dominion" began to weave itself into tihe life of the community, and changes happened with terrifying results to the pockets of newspaper proprietors, Charlie joined the staff of the "Times," and is on it still. It may be mentioned that the railway paper doesn't need the services of an editor for nineteen hours a day, 365 days a year, and that Oharles will sort of take the editorship in his stride. Most daily-paper journalists do a job like that diuring the two hours' sleep that they are liable to get if they are not careful. • • • Again, the wail of the parson, this time frrom Melbourne, where one of them has said that Society women nurse, "black-faced dogs and fierce-eyed cats," and are ashamed to be seen nursing a baby. The point to be_ ascertained is whether the Mgubrious parson who is worrying about the birthrate is a bachelor, and if he is not a bachelor whether he is the father of a family. Another point to be considered is whether the woman who n/urses dogs and cats is a normal woman. If she is not normal, don't let her have any babies to muirse. Nature doesn't want her to have any, and the black-faced dog is just the think for her to lavish a distorted affection on. • • • The people who are worrying most about the birth-rate are faddists of the deepest dye — most of them disappointed married people with no children, old maids, and cranky old medical bachelors. It is not true, and never will be true, that normal women detest or are ashamed of babies. If they are not normal, it is right for tlhem not to be mothers, and the whining of parsons about black-faced dogs and things won't affect the birth-rate one way or the other. If the parsons believe that abnormal women, after reading a diatribe about petted' pugs and fierce-eyed oats, will immediately give up these treasures for the natural treasures •tihey are forbidden by nature from obtaining, the parsons are more idiotically impractical than usual.

Ei nest A. Blundeil, who iheard the voice breathing o'er Eden at St. John's Church last Saturday, is one or the gentlemen about Wellington' who couldn't count his friends 021 the fingers of his hands. There are a couple of events which generally reveal one's friends to a man. These are his birthday, his wedding day, his first child's birthday, and the day on which he wins TattersaH's. Oh, and they (the friends) generally toe the line of friendship when a man dies, but that's late — a kind of aftermath that doesn't worry o>r please him much. * ♦ * However, Ernest Blundell was hit up for tokens of friendship and esteem in consequence of his wedding, and one of the tributes of friendship came from the "Wellington Boxing Associa tion. Whether they thought he'd be needing some foresight, or insight, or an exaggerated outlook, ojt whatever theLr idea was, they gave him a fine pair of field glasses, and Ernest has gome out to view his Canaan with an enlarged vision now. There was some sJiight indulgence in talk. * * * Mr. R. W. McVilly, vice-president, reared up on his hind legs to remark on Mr. BlundelFs long connection! with the Association and of the original committee, of which Mr. Blumdeffll! and Mr. W. Coffey are the only members stJl connected with the Association). Then, the toast of Mr. Blundell and his future wife was drunk with enthusiasm, and they were wished all possible happiness and prosperity. May they get heaps of it. * ♦ » It is confidently stated in Melbourne that Madame Melba will be back in the colonies in February of next year. She has to appear in grand opera in May, and when she reaches London she intends to ask the managers who have booked her for four years ahead bo let her have six months free to herself next year. This time she proposes to spend in Australia, singing in every State. She will not be satisfied with the capitate, but thinks of giving at least a hundred concerts. "If the country people can't come to us, we must go to them " she said when she made this tentative arrangement. The homing spirit is asserting itself in Melba, and she wishes to spend more of her time in Australia than die has done during the last twenty years. Probably God's Own Country will have its visitation next year.

The "Glasgow University Magazine" has been weeping scalding tears over the departure of our n-ew " Professor Picken. Its little weep runs into print in these words : — ' ' And so Mr. Picken is bound away to leave us. 'l'b.9 G.U M. sincerely regrets it. Now that Mr. Morison and Mr. Picken are gone, we have scarcely a warm personal enemy left, as Whistler used to say. Although our 'tone' has mare thani once displeased Mr. Picken, we bear him no ill will, and hereby give him this testimonial to the collegers of Victoria College, N.Z. University: That he is a good man from his eccentric coiffure to the soles of his patent leather slippers, a man who is not afraid to speak his mind, or to have his opinions a mani of ipunciple, and a man of learning. We have kept him here just long enough to rub off a little Cambridge superciliousness, and now send him forth with our blessing — an ideal professoi for ant university under the sun Prosit, Picken. * * • The Professor, with his eccentric coiffure, his spectacled eyes, his substantial walkmg-tick of unvarnished ash and his estimable wife, happened into this office, and with some considerable reticence pleaded guilty to the obvious charge of popularity made by the "Glasgow University Magazine. ' He said, however, in extenuation/ of the charge that time had been when he had opposed matters of conduct in the college paper, and had won really conspicuous unpopularity over the business. The paper has made a good recovery, and so has Professor Picken. • • • Both the mathematical Professor and his wife are charmed with Wellington and its people so far. To paraphrase Tennyson antithetically, they have been "still from one kindness to another thrown " and even the weather so far has smiled upon them. t»f course, Professor Picken looks on the world through rose-ooLouired glasses, for he is young — only twenty-eight years of age And that isn't half a bad age at which to become a fullblown professor A curious item in connection with .his coming to Victoria College is that he joins oni the professorial staff Professor Brown of ours, who was Mr. Picken's predecessor in Glasgow, and in whose class in the early days young Picken was a student. The Lance gives the Professor and his house the best of good welcomes. Willie Napier, of Auckland, ferroconcretLst, harbour-boarder, ex-cap-tam of the Coastguards, adviser to the Admiralty, ex-member of the House of Representatives for the City of Auckland, tuture member for the Waitemata in the same said 1 House, banris-ter-at-law of the Supreme Court of New Zealand, and solicitor of the said Supreme Court of the saad Domini on, gentleman, is in Wellington, unites he has gone since this paragraph was written. If you will wait until we draw a breath, you'll be told that there is no man in this Dominion whose opinion, on law, politics, fire brigades, Admiralty Houses, Calliope Docks, fishing rights, oyster-beds, and flower-gard-dens is better worth six and eightpeiLce (and disbursements) than is the opinion' of Willie Napier. Mr. Napier, who is the dapperest little mom outside London, is often in. it, for it is frequently necessary for him to go Home to put the Law Lords in their places, and to examine the concrete ornament on the top of St. Peter's, at Rome, the Nelson Monument, and the facade of the Decayed Canines' Caravanserai at Battersea. Mr. Napier, in the days' when he took a keen interest in the military and naval affairs of his beloved Dominaon, was of great value to the Admiralty in Auckland, but apparently that organisation is faloozaling along now without his assistance. When that Poore appointment was made, the Admiralty had probably not seen Mr. Napier about it, and it is to be regretted that the command' of the Australasian Naval station cannot devolve on him for some considerable time. It is to be hoped that when Mr. Napier has ferro-ooncreted New Zealand he will find time to navally manage it. • • • A propos of the need of some revision of our roll of Justices of the Peace in New Zealand, the "Observer" very pertinently instances a case arising out of the strike of the Blackball miners, as follows: — "The Hon. J. McGowan, Minister of Justice, decrees that the action of the Blackball miners in striking was illegal. Arthur Rosser, Justice of the Peace, told the Trades and Labour Council that they ought to support the strikers. Presumably, if Arthur were at Blackball he would incite the miners to conitimue their illegal action. This is a pleasing attitude for a Justice of the Peace to take up ; and only goes to prove that it is a big mistake to appoint a professional labour agitator to the Commission of the Peace."

Captain "Jimmy" Mitchell, oi Haweia, the skupper of tlhe omiy corps of mounted cadets in the Dominoon, got a teinfic shock the other day when he heaid that hi.s boys weie not to be allowed to take part in the Easter manoevures You see, these boys have been saving up theur pocket-money and buying all sorts oi gear for the benefit of the country, and in ardor to show what they can do as soldiers. It is just a lee.tle wee tiny bit probable that tins corps will \anish altogether if the Defence Office keeps on, /regarding it as a sort of juvenile pla.ythi.ng Still, no matter. These boys are all tip-top ho.rsemen, keen shots, and so on, and are all countiy boys not much used to pavements. ■f- + "Jimmy" himself is a gieat deal of a sold i.6i and a \ erv fine horseman. He scrapped a heap m South Afnca, using fioan puvate with the first batch of 'eioes to ciptai.n in subsequent batches. Came home with a burst leg, which had piewousJy been bullet-punctured at Rotterdam, and which leg is still a bit <h'ort and has since been torn up largely in the hunting field Brought Charlie Crowley, a Boer boy, home with him. Charlie wasn't desired much by his lel'atives, who were banging off ammunition at the ro oi neks, and so when "Jummy" captured him Charlie wasn't sorry to give over totiing a rifle lomnd looking for "khakis" to shoot Chailie is sit ill with James, and was one of the smartest youn esters in the mounted cadets. Also is he a good footballer and a great sport emtnely, hike his rescuer. Captain Mitchell caone to town the other day to see. if he couldn't get the War Office to let his boys take the field at Easter, and if the hearts of the T>T>. can be moved "Jimmy's" eloquence ought to move ilt. One of "Jimmy" Matchell's mates in the Fust New Zealand BJoodshedders was Charlie Blenkhorn, affectioaiatelv known as "Blenkie," and this same "Blenkie," who also becaim© an officer—and a good one according to reports—was last Friday adlmitited as a solicitor bv Mr. Justice Edward's "BLenkie" Is not a New ZeaJlander, except by residence and for love of this country, but comes from Yorkshire, and was when he began «oldiermg a miner at Coiomandel. He hadn't any grave intentions in the early Coromandel times of b°'ng arything else

than a miner, bu,t later be began to wonder it it wasn't a fair thing to use an excellent education to some good ptiipoise Hence his shingle will flutter m the biee-ze nght soon. •* «• Colonel Banks .once nn cha.ige oi the Auckland distnct, now letned, and "Blenkie"' while with the "Sixth " altei a skirmish in. Afnca weie looting aiound looking for shot fiiends. Some gentle burghers opened fbe, and the two isolated officers had to "get," se-eing that they were far fiom honie and comiades and exjxised. "Blenkie's ' horse was shot, and he was eaptiued, but Colon e<l Banks gott back to his own lines safely. The Dutchmen released "Blenkie" after disaiming him, and let him go back to New Z -aland to study law -"■->■■* Stated in .Southern papers that balf-a-guinea has been leadilv paid in some New Zealand cities or towns foi seats at the Rev J. Flanagans lectuies on "How I Won Jack the London Burglar to Chnst," or "How I Became Com erted " or "How I Started Slumming," etc. This bit of infoimatiion leads peculiaily m the light of a gospel which the Founder advertised as "without money and without pi ice " Rev. J. Flanagan, fiom all accounts did some very fine work in the slums of the Old Land. Theirefoie it is to be the more depflored that he should come to God's Own Coaiinitiv to convey the impression, that thene's a lot of "the sounding brass and tunklmg cymbal" about his New Zealand trip. To pay ten and sixpence 'to hear the stojy of a man's religious coiweision is like putting a considerable tax on. what he liMn<self claims to be an absolute necessary of life, and the thung doesn't square somehow. Big sections of tbe community squealed at the figuies charged to hear "the custodian of the nation's voice" when she sang past heie the other day, and they are beginnung to squeal again now on the "Jack the London Buiglar" tariff. Moreover, they say they can go up Cuba-stieet on any evening a.nd hear a Salvarmv warrior in full uniform, and supported bv a whole brass band, relate "How I Shifted Camp from the Two-up School," oir "How I Broke Away from the 'Eart an' Arrow Push."

The aiuvalof Mis. Madocks in New Zealand suggests the probability of the aamal in tlie neair future of that decent cha,p Major Ma-docks, who knows New Zealand some, and is known without rancour by same New Zeakndeis Major Madocks was attached to a staff appointment m this country before the war, and he just naturally toted his ca.rap bed out, looked to the. priming of his flintlock, and stood to attention when it began to be netas'-iaiy f-o.i New Zealand to save the Empire • ■ • Am-how, "Billy" lit out with the fiistlot of tioo-r that left "God's Own" m the dt "days, and he was the instrument irfi the hands of whoevet had the destinies weighed up, in stemming an imasion mi to Bi ltish-held ground, saving the life of a lot of folk, and in generally .holding off a number of whiskery persons with fierce Mausers It doesn't do to repeat the stoiy of New ZeaJand Hill, bceause the little Major hates having decent things said about him, but it is competent to reimaik that should he show up on the Dominion skvlme lie will be dragged ovei it by warm grips. Everybody knows that the Major married the daughter of the late Sir Walter Buller. There are three little Madockses. Sincere 1 egret will be felt liocally at the loss the community has sustained in. the death of Mrs. Pollen, wife of Dr. Pollen. Mrs. Pollen, died in. Dnnedm subsequent to a.n operation. Mrs. Pollen was identified 1 closely in this city with many philanthropic wo.rks, and, although she was not robust devoted a great deal of h<ev time to. merciful woik, and was publicspirited without ostentation. To the cheery, well-liked doctor there will go forth much sympathy. • • » Says the "Bulletin"- — "W. F. Treanbath, the Maorilander, who beat Nigel Barker m the 880 yds championship lace, hails from Gere, Otago He has never yet beem beaten in a halfmile race, not even, when, on 1 one occasion, he raced the Waimea Plains railway engine for the crossing. He is just m his twenties, and has won/ over all distances from 100 yds upwards. At Dunedin on January Ist he covered the half-mile m two minutes, against a heavy wind and on a grass track, leaving the lest of the field' standing still.