It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume VII, Issue 338, 22 December 1906, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That the name of the Caty Council's fire motorist is Spry. It ib a good name. —That the new Defenoe Council at their fins* sitting wall discuss the Free Lance Christmas Annual. —That firewood is scarce at Island Bay A good' few plank seats are to be supplied for the benefit of visitms. —That Wellington's ambulance arMKngemen.ts arne a ktble better than the eapldng-and-baig stretcher of the bush. That an intending Australian settler, disgusted with the dear land in Australia, is coming to New Zealand. Ye godel That some of the hands in a local watchmaker's shop work twenty-four hours a day. Where is the Inspector of Factories? — That the tuneless tootle of the tm trumpet in the streets is intended by a bem&fioent ptrovidence to indicate that Christmas is at hand. That it is a common pastime for motor maniacs to beat the Hutt train. A few 'mangled remains will be picked up on the Hutt-road yet. — That New Zealand 'has at last a native-bom generaJ. General Robun is. probably the youngest officer of that iraaik in the King' 6 service. — That this week Sur Robert Stout, C.J., has been thirty-nine yeais studying law. Late of bad eggs wish he didn't know so much aboutl it. That men may come and 1 men may go, but they neitiheir come nor go without a Free Lance Christmas Annual, Loaded) up with frolic for Yuletide. — That farm labourers are about to give tihe Arbitration Court four years work. The Canterbury Union cites 10,000 employers to appear before tlhe Court. — That the large and varied kit to be served out to the sailor boys of the Amokura (Sparrow) seems to include everything but a toothbrush and a mother. —That after January Ist it will be illegal for any child under sixteen to carry or use any kind of a firearm. Hooray! On© Auckland man was hat this week. — That a Wellington gentleman, who bad mad© all preparations for a holiday trip to Ghana hae "cried off" ainoe Sir Joseph uttered) his yellow peril warming. — That the newest disease is> ' motor eye." There are over one thousand oases of partial blindness' induced by motor scorching in London hospitals. Beware, Curly! — That this is the season when the man who owns the phenomenal plum, the prodigious pumpkin, the terrific tumap, the splendiferous spud, or tihe gigantic gooseberry is a hero. That Felix Tanner is at present altering his latest weird machine' in order to go round' the -world by way of the Heads and Glasgow Wharf. It is believed! it will take him fully half-a-day. — That waitress girls, who used to pay £2 10s for their uniforms, and were liable to dismissal within a week, don't have to buy their own uniform nmdier the new award. They aie glad. —That Lord Plunket need not have been so pointed about the lack of politenieee among young colonials. We saw a boy give uo lias tram seat to a mam only yesterday— but the man was Ids schoolmaster. —That an up-to-date eajgjht-year-old boy, on being asked 1 by his dad if he would go to see the toys in tiheD.l.C, replied! that he didn't mind if it would interest bisi parent. That boy waiuts whisky and sodla and a cigar. That a "cockatoo" at Opunake is claimant to a fortiune of £50,000 for which an heir is wanted in the United States. There are a ga-eat many claimants to fortunes in New Zealand. tout precious few of the fortunes materialise. —That the local Taffiies will be interested 1 to learn tlhait Major Wynyard, who captains the English ericketting team now touring the colony, was captain in' a WeTslh regiment before he left tihe Army. Among hjs trophies is fhe E/oyail Humane Society's medal .

—That there is nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dlreain— except the Fkbb Lanoe Christmas Annual. — That Mir. Gunereus Remning was fined in the Wellington P<> lici6 w Co^ for breaking a pan© of glass. Wondlei if he showed it hie visiting oardr —That, of course now that Sir Joseph Ward has called attention to the "yellow peril" this oountiy will discontinue distributing '"Itineraries ot Travel" m Japan. —That during the past twelve months more immigrants have arrived tlhian dunng any year wad fewer touijste than usual. This is a sign that we are getting better sense. —That, according to a West Ckva&t patter, "Several Government inspector*, were oandlemned! <as unfit for food' last week. Just a line dlropped) out, but, all thie same, Government inspectors are not fit for human food. —That "Tommy" Taylor lays it down "When tourists visit thie country they are our guests, andl must leairn to confoirm to our washes ; faikng that they must stay away." The toonrist traffic is consequently stoppled. That one can get a "wee drappie" at the store of onv "pozir widdy bodd/' in Dunedin. Ane piuir lone wumm^n was fined! twenty-five pounds for m>ling whusiky instead! o' sugaa- trtlher day. 'Tis an awfu' reesk tryin' to be honest.