It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume VI, Issue 262, 8 July 1905, Page 22

It is Town Talk

That this is about the time the police are wondering if Tom Long can be easily found 1 . That every woman, should marry an economical main, but it's bard lime® to be engaged to one. That there is revolution in Russia. but the colonial cricketers scored well against Gloucestershire 1 . —That a gentleman by the name of "Witf. Pickup has applied for a renewal of ai bo€eil license. Perhaps he will. That, according to an a-gricultural witness in a court case, "pigs and calves is a dead! 'orse at present. Pity Barnum is dead. That the country people are very properly "squeaking" about the large number of "bad-eggs" the magisibraitei, and police clear out of big cenitres. — That there are fifty miles of railway passenger platforms in the colony. And there are five hundred miflies of roadfe that are not fit for passengers. — That Adelaide is the only oity in Australia to have an ice-rink. They call it "Thie Glaciarium" oveir there. But the electric car scheme has fallen through. That a Northern' gentleman has married the widow of a volunteer officer. His card now beam the title "Colonel." He reckons he married the title as well as the widow. — That contempt of court is a more eerious offence than wife-beating, horsestealing, and most other "petty" offences. An Auckland contemptuous man was fined £20 for it. — That sixty houses are: in course of erection at Kxlbdrnie. They will be occupied within four months. The water supply and drainage, however, wail get there about 1908— with luck. — That the Governor 5*5 * Speech was a great boon to many papers, taking up. as it did, three-quarters of the news space. "Owing to pressure on our space leading article held 1 over." — That an ■excellent actor, who has just left Wellington .turns aip homiest penny on tour by running & sideline of cigars. There are immense possibilities in a tradfe-professdion comlbinatkiin. — That the test of sobriety among Auckland) tipnilers is the correct pronunciation 1 of the French Consul's name, M. Boaufve. It will trip even a bottle-in-the-oupboard prohibitionist. — That thus a member of the Arbitration Court: "I never knew a workman to kill himself with over-work." He might have addbd : "I never kniew an employer ruin himself by over-payment." — That the country papers assert that the Parliamentary opening crowd cheered Tom Wilfordl because he drove up in a motor car. The crowd cheered to warn the people to clear out of tihe way. — That WelHngton landlords say it doesn't pay to own property at present rentals. The price of a property, and the rent it was let at, published) recently, show it to have been paying 18 per cent. — That trade does not always follow the flag. Sometimes it gets ahead of the bunting. Thus, two cases of Gudnness's stout were found in the Llama's palace, at Llhasa. It was dlated 1870! — That exception' was taken at a recent volunteer smoke concert to press aritiicilsm. of volunteering, about which tlhe press knows so little. Well, the press will interview a young "sub," and learn something-. — Thiat Britain has three squadrons in readiness, each of ■which 's larger and as well armed; as Togo's victorious collection, of death-dealers, but the "Sparrow" isn't ready yet. Three cheers for colonial patriotism. — That this is the workers' paradlise. Two families, comprising eleven child ren and! four adult® in all, occupy a fourroomed/ hottse and a tent at Newtown. Rent, 21s w6r week. And still tihe laadlords whine. — That a legislator, wihio returned to has lodgings at 5 o'clock one recent morning, knocked at the door, and 1 was interested to see a female arm with a jug on the end shoot out. She thought it was the milkman. — That the trustful barmaid of a well-known city hotel, who confided her half-hoop diamond ring to a pretentious stranger, on Ms promise that he would have a missing sione replaced, would be orlad to see either the ring or the pretentious stranger again.

That a countess recently shot herself in a cathedral. The cathedral is unharmed. The countess is dead. Strange. That colonial statesmanship lias received a d-eadly blow by the retirement from the Legislative Council of Mr. J. M. Twomey. — That when a local town-pump politician roared, in clarion tones, that he would "eradicate the. crying evil," the frightened woman with the howling baby vanished like a pale wraith. She will seek police protection. — That at the Wellington Poultry Show a gentleman remarked : — "At one show I saw a bird with a first prize ticket on its cage which had a barefaced disqualification on its leg." That bird ought to see a doctor. — That a local body, which owns property, has been approached by a woman tenant for a reduction of rent. The chairman, advocates t<he reduction, on the ground that "I don't want to squeeze the woman too much." — That a blushing bride dawn South refused to promise to "love, honour, anid obey" her prospective husband!, on the ground that she had, an. income, and he had none. ' The weddling thereupon happened in the Registrar's office. — That Mir. Major, M.H.R., considers that members of the XT^^er House are better, sounder, and abler than are the members of the Lower House. Andl if Mr. Major should lose' his seat at the next election — but there ! Why speculate? — That the character of recruits to the Permanent Artillery has _o he< sworn to by a minister of religion or a Justice of the Peace. Who were the gentlemen who swore to the character of exConstable Moses, who was an ex-artil-leryman ? — Th/at the Southern pol'ce exhibited with great pride a "skeleton key" they had found' among the tools of an alleged burglar. Expert evidence showed that the ghastly weapon was a common "saw-set." Carpenters will see the joke best. — That a Bible>-in-'Scthoofe oleirio is advooatmer the withdrawal of children belonging to parents who favour biblical lessons, and founding church schools. The "free, secular, andl compulsory" clause of the Education Act would worry the cleric®.

dated 1870!