It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 101, 7 June 1902, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

- -That a gieat slump ni khaki has .set in. —That King Dick does not contemplate letummg until the session ls o\ ci —That, now that wai is ovei, a good mam of Now Zealand's Ninth and Tenth will want to stay in .South Afnca —That when a man has a biithda-v he takes a da\ oft but that w hen a woman has a bnthda* she takes a couple of \ ears off —That the Wellington Peace and Humanity Societ% ls awfully disgusted at the pioclamation of peace. Its occupation's gone. —That the Financial Statement will be unite ready when Parliament meets Sir Joseph Ward doo« not intend to keep it up his sleeve long —That a writ, claiming a thousand pounds damages for breach of promise of mainage has been served on a Dunedin giocer He is not feeling exactly well —That Lord Kitchener is a keen land speculator During, his Soudan campaign he bought an island on the Nile toi £10 and has just sold it toi £1500. —That a Wellington widow , who recently made the second plunge has a written aereement with No 2 which empowers her to draw the weekly w age^ herself —That Di. De Clive Lowe, of Auckland is off for a run to the Islands They are saying that a recent rehearsal of that opera of his was too much for his nei res —That i oiler skating is again becoming \en popular m the South Island Seveial* rinks axe now in full swing and everything points to a, renewal of the old boom. —That if the \ oleanic business fizzles out the drought in Australia breaks up, peace is real, and King Richard pretty fit, Edward Vll. 's coronation ought to be' a tolerable success. —That it is an open question whether the Post" or King Dick made peace Anj how . the Post" says it, got the first news That was some time after the Post Office clock had started to publish it abroad. — That three members of the New Zealand Ministiy have knocked off smoking— the Premier, the Native Minister and the Minister of Lands. The Native Mimstei is a teetotaller, and the Piemiei neaily so —That almost every town in Ne^\ Zealand wheie coronation festivities are to be held is going to give the voungsteis something to eat. And now even the Wellington Committee lias decided it is to be a time of feasting, not fasting. — That a Wellington lady who recently went on a trip to Sydney, had such a horror of the bubonic plague that she invested in a pan of Wellington boots She thought the plague was something lively that hopped about the streets looking for a human calf to bite. —That Mr. Seddon, the inventor of the blockhouse system, is to be asked to give his opinion on those blockhouses still existing in England, erected at the tune when General Julius Caesar iva.s taying to hold off commandoes of bluepamted Britons. — That Mr. Mowbray, of Thorndon, is a lucky school-teacher. Retires into private life in February, resigns in May as from the 31st of August next and draws full pay for six months after knocking off work. Will the Board adopt it as a piecedent, or is it merely a special favour? —That Mr T. K. Sidey, Caversham's new member, is to move the Address-m-Reply in the Lower House, and that Mr. Marshall, of Totara Flat, one of the new lords from the West Coast, is to perform the like office m the Upper House He is said to be a decent performer on the flute. — That, the adjustment, of representation this year will give two new members to the North Island. Also, that one of the new seats will be furnished by the suburbs of Wellington, or close thereto, and that the other new seat will be among the suburbs of Auckland or mighty adjacent to them —That the New Zealand Postal Department must be saving the bawbees by issuing its stamps without any adhesive mucilage "We'll go in for economy. And. save a most tremendous sum " The head official said with glee, "We'll do it— yes, bv gum'"

- That the gloomiest looking, man about town on Monda\ last was a pio-Boei fiom Uppei Hutt —That the people who di«'«;»ed Sn Joseph's carnage lound town on Monda\ iumc suflciina <i ieco\ei\ on Tuosda\ - That Mie tone of the Gciinan Press towards Great Biitam is moie fiiondK " The feai of Pick i<* en ci all - Tli at the Boeis 'arc to letain then; horses and rifles foi self-pi otection New lifles and horses foi 30,000 depoited buigheis 9 Beautiful 1 — That according to a soldier 001 respondent, the New Zealand Bngado has not clapped eve on a hostile Boer since it took a hand in the eha^e --That sand 1% wanted for the tianilines on fiO"st-\ mornings On Tucclav the. brakes refused to "bite," and man a passengeis weie left lamenting, That the appi opening tension is not expected to be lone; drawn out. The. Government hope to nng down the curtain about the beginning: of October — That "Peace" produced the greatest tluist that Wellington has suffered from this year. The clank of the beei -engines was like a boiler-shop in full blast — That Allan Orr will be more up to date now than ever. The Drivers' Union have presented him with a maible clock so that he may always know the time o' day — That the crowds which paraded the streets on Monday night are still wanting to know "Where are the fireworks 0 " The fire just above the Terrace w"as several hours too late. — That one citizen jubilated to such an. extent on Monday night that he airived home with the milk in the morning clothed in a Royal Standard looted from the decorations. — That Acting-Premier Sir Joseph Ward will probably outline the Government programme for the session when addressing his constituents at Winton on Tuesday night next. — That the Government are fairly rushing the construction of the North Island Trunk Railway. Twelve more unemployed have been sent up This is said to make twenty-four — That the newest use to which electrical science has been applied is tJie transmission of daily "Sedograms." They are said to have a sedative effect, on. people of the wrong colour. — That Mi. W. H. Carncross does not intend to seek re-election for the Taieri now that h© is a Taranalri man. But he may possibly be persuaded to try a flutter for some North Island seat. — That in an up-the-line town, on Tuesday, the traffic was blocked for half-an-hour bv the crowd of people in front of the local paper's window. Peace proclamation ? No' the lesult of tihe Ping-pong tournament — That the Representation Commissioners are due to sit in Wellington on Friday next week, 12th instant. They consist of Messrs Marchant, Percy Smith, Humphries, D. Barron, Muellei. and Lieutenant-Colonel Wales. — That the people who enthuse about Australian cricket are about stumped foi an excuse to offer for the fiasco in the test match. Thirty-six runs as the full total far the flower of Australian batsmen is a nasty pill to swallow. — That it is a curious coincidence that the people who advertise for help in "return for a good home" always stipulate, that the person applying "must be a Christian." If you do not believe it, follow the "wanted" advertisements. — That the- quaintest peace wire was that in which "the Mayoi of Woolston told the Acting-Premier that +he public was duly notified by the town clerk playing "God Save," etc , in front of the council chambers 'Oh listen to the band 1 " — That the wind is no lespectoi of persons Sir Joseph Ward, in welcoming peace on the foreshore lost his shin\ bell-topper, and not all the lovallsts present could rescue that Chrcste\ and Bennett All the shops were shut. too 1 — That w lid horses would not have dragged the average Wellington girl back to her work on Monday As soon as the Peace" firebell started its clangour the employe's in one large dressmaking establishment took French lea.ye, and vamHied for the day. -That a main in the Government Buildings is gieatly disappointed He oideied six bottles of a particulai patent medicine on the strength of a feminine testimonial which said 'It made me a different woman " But it didn't have that effect on h.LS wife. - That, while the Wellington 'Times" shakes hands with itself for bringing out a special edition a,t 11.30 on "Peace" day it is the Pahiatua ' Herald" that walks off with the bun for patriotic enterprise. Actually surrenders half a page of advertisements in order to come out with the Union Jack in colours, headed bv the line "The Flag that Rules the World." Theie are no flies on Pahiatua.