It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 84, 8 February 1902, Page 22

It is Town Talk

-That a. die^smakei is not m the best of health just because she seams well That when Tom Mann leains the ropes in this coleuv. R J.S. uill »•»«■ to keep his eyes veiv wide open —That at lea-t one ver> interesting divorce case is on the cards for the approaching session, of the Supieme Couit -That a Napier man. celebrated for his German sausages, now labels those delectable luxuries Hawke's Bay sausage " Patriotism 1 —That possession is nine-tenths of the law , and the tenth the tee of the lawyer who is trvmg to get possession 1 His i true — a lawvei told us. —That tliev are beginning to nickname the new Commander of the Forces "Babblmgton." And it's all over the fact that be can't babble. —That now the tournament is over the local bowlers are beginning to find it lather an effort, to work up any excitement on afternoon tea. --That strong man Sandow . who recently had 60,000 pupils for physical tiaining, has now less than half that number. He was born in Germany. —That the harmless little flour trust, for a new thing, is progressing favourably Tw o ten-shilling rises since December, and decent prospects for others. —That the first flight of seaside sw allow s has returned from across the harbour and that the second flight are now roosting there. And there's more to follow —That the latest thing m America is a "corset" trust. A business man remarks that soon the dread combine will hold m its grasp everything most clear to man. —That A. R. Atkinson, M H.R., has commenced taking singing lessons so that he will be able to sing seconds next time Mr. Seddon leads off in the JNational Anthem —That an inspector of dairies in Taranaki recently severely commented on the crowding of cows in a certain milking shed. He was told that "them was the condensed milk cows." That now the standard is lov\eied. King Dick ought to offer Fred. Pirani a commission in the Ninth. It might save such a lot of tiouble later in the veai when Richard is engaged at the Coronation. —That, in a recently-published geo-o-iaphv, amongst other information pubfished having reference to New Zealand, "tinned mutton" finds a place amongst the mineral resources of this happy land That it is being suggested to Barclay M.H.R., that if he wishes to get le-elected for Dunedin he had better volunteer foi the Ninth. "Trooper Barclay. M H.R ," would look well m print. That a l ejected candidate for the Kighth — a six-footer weighing thirteen stone — stood against a tree outside the bneade office, and blubbered like a chifd. He had set his mind on it, and travelled. —That, in Sydney the prophets are saying it will be a case of Barton Bait after the Coronation. As for Richard, his signature may be shortened to ' Kumara " meaning Duke of Kumara. of course. — That there is a broken-hearted, disappointed railway porter going to South Africa with the Ninth A steel-bound trunk defied his manly efforts to destroy it and he is looking for destruction that is not so w earying — That according to a Northern paper, Whangarei oranges are largely used to feed pigs. Large consignments of Cahfornian oranges, recently shipped to Wellington, have been eaeerlv bought up. Wherefore? — That we have not noticed any goldlaced uniforms in the local "pop shops" vet. Thank goodness. Lord Roberts'^ order does not extend to the colonies and that the New Zealand Defence Staff still luxuriates in prpttiness — That Tom Mann has accepted an offer from that 'cute manager, the muchtravelled Smythe, to make a lecturing tour through Australia. The family will remain here Tom ought to catch on all right. — That the feminine portion of the Opera House family circle was veiy partial to the luxury of a "weep" ovei "The. Second in Command " In the, dress circle they have too much reeaid for Mrs Grundy to give way to thenfeel ings

That their husbands' pockets affotd scum women then onh change m lire -That aceoiding to <i Dunedni papei le-piosv is a safei disease to lia\ c than pio-Boensm in the Minluiigh of theSouth - That mam people oi Hastings insist on then cluldien wearing the Kastein sandal Biblical and gu es the toot a chance — That the man uho put Fighting Mar thiough his goose step lias been located m t\\el\e towns of Au«tiaha and New Zealand. -That the death rate m Bntain is on the mciea'-e No wondei — Bntons consume 31 f)00 000 bottles of patent medicines a,nnuall\ --That an Ameiic an has patented an instiument wheiebv telephone subscnbers may '•cc as well as hear the person at the other end — That a mean man is suggesting that Ms H.R. who go to the front shall not be paid their Paihamentary honoraiium and then officer's allowance as well. — That, from Bth Februaiy New- Zealand may date its existence a& a power in the noil markets of the world In other words, Mr. E M Smith returns. — That the fact that a certain young lady lias "joined the <n*eat majority" does not necessarily mean that she is dead She ha« mairied a man named Smith. -That in South Africa there is about one tiee to a million oi two acres. New Zealand timber merchants should, therefore, have a bid for a corner of the maiket. --That the lady who sent the poem with the information that it contained "tlie deepest secrets of her soul," may rest assured that we will uot be instrumental in disclosing them. - Tha,t the circulation of the onlvpioBoei journal in the colony has gone up by leaps and bounds. The unprecedented number of twenty-six copies was sold of it= last issue - That the "service" is going to the dogs General Babington says there is too much manual exercise and too little of anything useful Three years ago the General would have been considered a hopeless crank. — That a new "amusement" in a certain town is to lash firemen's bikes up with fencing wire. They have not vet identified the jokers with the cause of the fire, but it would be refreshing to hear that it was even so — That Mr. Seddon is sroing to take a course of sulphur baths at Rotorua before he leaves for the Coronation But, unless -John Bull mends, his ways on that Argentine meat ouestion he will find King Dick quite sulphurous enough as he is. -That a young man in the groeer\ line had a very unpleasant five minute^ with his mother-in-law at the entrance to Dixs Gaiety the other night. Result he changed his plans, and did not patronise the entertainment in company with hi« alleged cousin on that particular evening. — That theie was gieat lejoicing in the ranks of the female school-teacheis when the colonial scale of salaries was published last week. Rises of £90 to £113 (Terrace). £123 to £170 (Clyde Quay) £100 to £170 (Petone) £121 to £191 (New town) and £10 to £13-1 (Kereru) are peifect plums in then way.