It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 74, 30 November 1901, Page 22

It is Town Talk

— That more than one inmate or cht Oriental HoteJ escaped in the. aJ together " — That it is a mistake to judge a man bv hi*. Looks alwa\s judge him h\ the looks ok lll> \\ lh> — -That tht'ie are some men so scaie<l and ,ippreihen«iw> that they heai rli< wnlt at the dooi every time the cat steai.s the milk - Tlidt the change ni British legal documents trom ' God Save the Queen" to God Save the King," will cost a cool £400.000 -That it it had not been for the defeat ok Victoria Wellington was serioi 1^ ly considering a challenge to MoLaren's English eleven —That Mi*. Botha, w lfe of GeneiaJ Loui/> Botha, gave birth to a son at Amsterdam on October 11th Woudei if he'll be in time to fight in the Boer arnn — That Wellington should tuin up en mas.se to Saturday's entertainment, at the Opera House It means money to the suffereis b\ the recent fire, and want of monies is their sorest complaint just now — That tiheio is no truth in the leport tha/t the City Council intends to show the people that they do' not deserve the epithet plunderers' and blunderers" an Arbitration Court witness gave them on Monda\ -That New Zealand should buck up " and get some of those big meat contract*- for troops m Africa. Oueen>land says she can feed the whole of the Army Won't she leave us a couple of regiments or so 0 — That Prohibitionist Lectuier Glover opened up a vista of regal possibilities to the female youth of "Wairarapa recent lv when he said "Perhaps, some young lad\ in this building might some da\ reign over New Zealand like King Rirhaid does to-day

- That the grooei V-, scales may not have a grudge against their owner, but then often he m weSght toi him - -That bhere ha,% been no bank Holiday since race-da,\ . Wherefore thif long unrelieved speJ] of dull monotony J -That Mr H G. Ell. M H.R. 4 oi Chnstehurch was a member of the Armed Constabulary Foice about seventeen vearg ago. --That the lite or Mi William Ciawfoi'd might have* been s<i\e<l if the oidinm\ modern fire escapes were in vogue in Wellington -That the saving of Willis-street jiOTii fire is due to th< gallant firemen, who seem to have been entireh forgotten as ha.\ mg done din thing at all Thai a liumozous epusode of a ceitam \ olunteei camp was the spectacle of ono of the officers a butcher, engaged on his riuat i omul attued in full reginientals r \ liat it the Opposition have to wait for I hen leturn to powci until Dick Seeidon is made Go\emoi of the Orange State. the\ ha\ c seen then last of the Tre.isurv benches That, toi hard luck Mi Robinson's expenence is> haul to bea-t T^o fiiTs <uid a latulsJip m seven veaifc is his qualification for pit\ , and fire is always divistioiis to jewellers. — That a Thorndon lad\ was not behoved bv her friends when she said h? lach -hou-semaid ro&e without bemg called until she explaiued that she was in lo\e \nth the milkman — That the latest ad\ auce m education a, the teaching of foieign languages by means of the phonogiaph Monsieui speaks into the implement in Pans, forwaids the cjJinder to yon m Wellington you do the rest Comprenez? — Tliat a local smart \ told a friend that if lit* stood on his h<'a<l the blood rushed to i+ 'Win , if I stand on my feet does not the blood rush to them?" he queried. "Because ' replied his fnend, voui feet are not empty " —That the cliief topic of eonversataou on the West Coast is the State coal mine and who are to get the leading billets in it Every other man you meet feels quite satisfied King Dick will not overlook him. — That a land agent annoyed at that ufw chiun refusing to buy "that desirable residence at Blowhole Gully." saad he thought the new chum didn't know how the land lies. "No, but I know how the average estate agent lie"? " sweetly murmured the Johnny.

— That the man who pretended, in Aucklaml. to be Hardham, V.C." cot 1 three years' hard" for his pains. He is now Haidatit, U.C. — That the starving" Boer ladies, m Aii ican Concentration Gamps, play tennis between the feeds. The suffering of the>se people is absolutely pathetac. - That a local poet lias lost Jus heart to the Wellington lad\ hookey players, and has just written a poeni, in which he describes them as ' Angels. e\ er bright and fair " That Mr. J. A Sliaud of the Thames 'Star," who acted as war corlespondent in South Africa for several X<>\\ Zealand papers has been awarded a. wa i medal That a necessary part of the kit of a tiaveller who visits* Wellington is a fire <\soaoe Who is responsible foi the bits of string by wluch the Oriental ooara01 s wore asked to escape? -That a Newtow n grocer, to whom a LkK went with a 'harrowing tale anent ancient eggs replied that he 'oouldn't tell what was* made 'em." He was only a grocer, not a mind reader. -That a respectable daily has the foilou ing advertisement Boarding-house foi sale, cheap Twelve permanent boarders, nearly always full." Tho=' boarders are simply ropeable just now. — That hundreds of Dutchmen in AfiKd are now fighting under British officers Their modus operandi is to get oasih captured, and to supply their captors" with ajms and ammunition. That the Compensation for Accidents Act is responsible for the ' sacking" of the whole of the married men employed by a large contractor. He also decides to employ tio married men in future --That a ceitaui young ladj , whose wealthy married sister offered her £nO a year if she would leave her employ ment preferred to keep her situation at £.52 pounds a veai. Nothing like independence --That Dunedan's new mayor has «et out the planlcs in his municipal plat form. There are but two — the preventnon of expectoration in the public streets and the building of a pubh'c morgue. Ambitious man. • — That the nolice are strict in a wellknown town south of Wellington. A man fell over a child's mdiarubber ball in the street and was "run in" for playing football in a public thoroughfare. The arresting constable hae been made a sergeant

— That we are to have £1800 worth of extra talk next Parliament. Six newmembers. — -That there are gruesome reports from Auckland anent Chinamen, opium, and white people, male and female. — That, at Tapanui, there lives an old age pensioner who at one time earned — and spent — £100 a week by gold ging—That a gentleman, who was disturbed by burglars recently, told his wife she'd 'better go down, as, they wouldn't dare to hurt a woman." — That the Anarchists of America have their eye on Doa\ le, the millionaire "Zionist." Well, after all, the Anarchists have their uses. — That they have found some tons of bones belonging to the honoured dead on the battlefields of Shrewsbury. They have been sold for manure. Hero worship ! — That at Mackenzie the earthquake turned over many bee hives. Several inhabitants were seen streaking towards the sunset with millions of honey-gather-ers in pursuit. — That the white gardeners' trade in Palmerston has increased since a guileless Chinese cabbage merchant has been under suspicion of leprosy. New Zealand with a lazarette! Ugh! — That, according to Sydney "Sunday Times," "Premier Spddon is sufficiently 'previous. he has secured his Coronation visit expenses before he has received the equally necessary invitation." — That a. greengrocer, on his lounds at Cheviot, when the earthquake happened, arrived at a door in time to precipitate himself and his stock in trade on to the landlady, with himself as the summit of the novel hillock. — That a guileless local merchant, who was toid that a certain well-known citizen seemed interested in labour agitation, replied ' Yes . I don't know anything that seems to agitate him more than the mere thought of labour." —That James Meridy. at Barbourville (U.S.A.), last month, married his fourteenth wife an hour after bein" divorced from his thirteenth. He is forty yeajrs old, four of his wives are dead, nine have been divorced, and the fourteenth was a widow. — That members of Canada's House of Representatives are fined eight dollars a day for absence during session. If this example had been followed during the recently-closed session in New Zealand the average salary would be about £100 a year.