PUNCH. TIED UP.

New Zealander, Volume 2, Issue 65, 29 August 1846, Page 4

PUNCH. TIED UP.

On Wednesday morning, at half past eleven precisely the unfortunate young man, Mr. ■ underwent the extreme penalty of infatuation, by expiating his attachment to Miss , in front of the altar railings of St. Paul's Church. It will be the recollection of all those friends of the parties who were at the 's party at that Mr. ■ was there, and there first introduced to Miss ■■, to whom he instantly began to direct particular attentions— dancing with her no less than six sets that evening, and handing her things at supper in the most devoted manner. From that period commenced the intimacy which terminated in Wednesday morning's catastrophe. Poor had barely attained to his twenty-eighth year ; but there is no reason to believe that for reasons of a pecuniary nature, his single life came to an untimely end. The young lady's friends had been induced to sanction his addresses, and thus became accessories to the course for which he had just suffered. The unhappy man past the last night of his bachelor existence in his solitary chamber. From half-past eight to ten he was busily engaged in writing letters. Shortly after ten o'clock a friend knocked at the door, when, the doomed youth told him in a firm voice to come in. On being asked when he meant to go to bed, he replied ' Not yet' The question was then put to him how he thought he should sleep, to which his answer was 'l don't know.' He then expressed a desire for a cigar and a glass of grog, which were supplied him. His friend, who sat down and partook of the like refreshment, now demanded if he would want anything more that night. He said 'Nothing' in a firm voice. His affectionate friend then rose to take leave, when the devoted one considerately advised him to take care of himself,

Precisely at a quarter of a minute to seven the next morning, the victim of Cupid, having heen called according to his desire, rose and promptly dressed himself. He had the self control to shave himself without the slightest injury ; for not even a scratch appeared upon his chin after the operation. It would seem that he had devoted a longer time to his toilet than usual. The wretched individual was attired in a neat dress coat, white waistcoat and lavender coloured trowsers, with patent leather boots. He wore round his neck a variegated satin scarf, which partially concealed the c'orazza of his bosom. In front of the scarf was inserted a breast-pin of very conspicuous _ dimensions. Having descended the stair steps at a quick pace he entered the apartment where a few friends were awaiting him . He shook hands cordially with all present ; and on being asked how he had slept, answered * very well ;' and to the further demands as to his state of mind, he said ' he felt happy.' One of the party having hereupon suggested that it would be as well to take something before the melancholy ceremony were gone through, he exclaimed, with some emphasis, 'Decidedly.' Breakfast was accordingly served ; when he ate the whole of a French roll, a large round of toast, two chops, and three new laid eggs, which he washed down with two great breakfast cups'of tea. In reply to an expression of astonishment on the part of a person present, at his appetite, he declared h© never felt it heartier in his life. Having enquired the time, and ascertained that it was ten minutes to eleven, he remarked that 'It would soon be over.' His friend then inquired if he could do anything for him, when he said he should like a glass of ale. Having drunk this he appeared satisfied. tOtty The fatal moment now approaching, he devoted the remaining brief portion of his time to distributing among his friends those little articles which he would soon no longer want. To one he gave his cigar case, to another his tobacco stopper, and he charged his bosom friend with his latch key, with instructions to deliver it , after all was over, with due solemnity, to hi» landlord. The clock at length struck eleven ; and at the same moment he was informed that a sedan was at the door. He merely said 'I am ready,' and allowed himself to be conducted to the side of the vehicle. Arrived at the tragical spot, a short but anxious delay of seconds took place ; little was said on either side ; but Miss < , with customary decorum, shed tears. The unhappy youth endeavoured to preserve a composure; but a slight twitching of his mouth and eyebrows proclaimed his inward agitation. The ill starred bachelor having submitted quietly to have a large white bow pinned to his button-hole, now walked, side by side with Miss , with' a firm step j to the altar. He surveyed the imposing preparation with, calmness : and gazed unmoved, on the clergyman, who assisted by the clerk, was waiting behind the railings. All requisite preliminaries having now been settled, and the prescribed melancholy formalities gone through the usual question was then put, ' Wilt thou have this woman for thy wife V T» which the rash youth replied in a distinct voice, ' 1 will.' He then put the fatal ring upon Miss 'stinger; the hymeneal noose was adjusted ; and the poor fellow was launched into matrimony.