“ME AND THE KING.”

North Otago Times, Volume XXV, Issue 979, 31 July 1902, Page 1

“ME AND THE KING.”

(From Southland Times, July 25,) Scene-Hotel Cecil—a quiet parlour. ' '■'-* Time-Uncertain.

Enter Edward Rex " Incog." Dick—The one and only rises to meet him.

Rex-" Good evening Dicii, how are you getting along?" Dick-" Glad to sec your Majesty ; fairly satisfactory —shalll ring for-" Rex-" Thanks, yes! I have been coming down for a qiiict chat for some weeks, but have always been too busy.," Dick—" Oh, that comes of having incapable men, Ministers 1 mean. Now, I've always time because I know how to deal with my people. Let them know you'll stand no humbug. Now, when 1 was On the West Coast-"

Rex-" Pray ! Pardon me; I rccog nisc—everybody docs—your marvellous genius, but, alas ! some of us are born common-place characters, but how have they been treating you here—aL the Colonial Office and soforth ?"

Dick-" None too well. I am, block ed at every point through slice jealousy ; lad!" Rex-" They won't take up your lit tie ideas, eh','" Dick-"'Little ideas, eh! Why look here Edward-beg 'pardon, your Maj esty-you want a man line mc in London. I'd show them a thing or two !" Rex-" For example ?"

Dick-" Kreckrade with the' colonies, only clear out the colonial office, and put up-to-date men in charge, put soldiers at the head of the War Office, not Carpet Knights, break up the large estates and—" Rex-" Hold on, Dick, the first three might be possible, but as poor old John Manners sang, " Leave us still our 'old aristocracy/' • Dick-" Aristocracy, I." ■F.aujgilt <| What's that ? I'm no aristocrat, and yet I'm hard to beat "

Hex-" T uc Dick, true," Dick-" Give mc the job. I'll burst them ep—estates and ah 'for a consideration."

Rcxi-" Oh,, lot's giue politics a rest. What about social life in New Zealand. How do you live? What do you eat and drink?" Dick-" New Zealand is the diadem of your Crown, your Majesty. Can'b be wiped out. As for eating and drinking—well,' on the West Coast—"

Rex (aside)-" Oh he's startedagain That Coast.'.'

Dick-'-' They drink mostly whisky and water, but whisky most; in idling ton a good deal of beer; in Otago and Southland Hondai-Lauka tea," Rex-" f-londai what?'' Dick-" Oh, that's a famous tea we have the monopoly of in New Zealand, If I lived in Otago I'm afraid I should turn tee-totaller. Excuse the pun." Rex-" But is it better than what you get here ?"

Dick-Better? I (ell you lOd-your Majesty, everything is belter in New Zealand!" Rex—" But Cicorpc said ,tI)C w6atl\6L' Wak Lad—wet you know " " D »f-"oii,-M)cyjireiißjfjjofffat cr there for mixing with the whisjy and infusing (making) the tea I told you of It suits US," ' Rex "01,, ah, ah'" Dick-" Now, this llondai-Lanh tea is put,, tomes packed and sealed from Ceylon, and is imported in en ormous- quantities. Many of my supporters use it. It's immense, I tejl you Rex-" I wish I could taste .it." Dick-" I've got a packet Ja my]

carpel; bag;' just wait and'we'll have a cup."

Ifcx|-"lThanjks ever ,so much.7 Dick-" Yes, you'll find it ij| (C our Contingents-looks well, can stand fiot water, and plenty of it, and is all it claims to lie. The best going. Wait, a bijt, and I'll get my lag !" (Exit Dick, while Rex fumbles in Ins pocket for his gold diamondmounted drinking cup), etc. , -Century Legends,