A CABINET MEETING.

North Otago Times, Volume XXXVI, Issue 8433, 19 March 1896, Page 4

A CABINET MEETING.

[By our own Mahatma.]

(Ohrlßtohuroh Press.) The Prs— — r's unexpeobed arrival was made the occasion of a speoial Cabineb meeting, and the chief subjecb of discussion was treaty making with Japan. The p r said be had a communication from bhe Secretary of State on the subjecb, who considered it desirable to maintain friendly relations wibh the Japs. Mr W d : " Treaty making is i my Bpecialby. I made the South Australian one m half an hour and the Canadian one while the express train filled its water tanks at Ottawa."

J. M o : "Do you call all your misbegotten things treaties.'' I W— — d : "Yes. sir; real statesmanlike efforts, but I am not properly understood. My ideas are half a century ahead of the times." P r: "This Japanese business requires delicate handling ; I have publicly announced thab I will carry through the Undesirable Immigrants Bill next session, and we can't have that and a treaty to."

Mr W r : " We musb keep m line with the Empire ; and should be guided by Chamberlain." M c: «' Chamberlain's a Tory, and on principle I oppose anything he advises."

P— — r :" I won't have the treaty di.cuß.ed by any of you. I mean to fix this thing np myself, so thab ends the matter. Now there's thiß Newtown license is causing a thundering lot of talk, and bhe question is ahall we give the Licensing Committee the Back."

T n : " I say no. If we did that the prohibitionists would claim a victory and then crow over us, 1 ' Mr H— J : " But I say thab they maßb be sbruck off. The voice of the people demands ib."

W— — d : "We are bebwe3n two stools, and as our policy is to keep sweeb with both parbieß, I tbiok it is a subjecb bebter lefb alone."

P— — -r : " Quite righb, Joe ; we'll hang ib up by referring ib to the law officers."

C- ■ n : "We are gebbing precious ehorb of railway plant, and mnsb order enough to keep us going us long as we ara m office, at any rate." P r : "Ib can'b be done. There's no money for railways or anything else, and we are ab bhe end of bhe financial year. You must patch np the engines and do wibh makeshifts."

C— n : "Ib can't be done with safety. The railways require half a million spenb on them, bub I will bry and do wibh lesß."

W d : " The utmost you can have ii LISOO, and tbab will strain the Treasury."

C n : " Why, that's less than a pound a mile for our open lines." P r : "My new policy doeß not propose to do anything for railways Roads and bridges catch on better with bhe yokels now. How are yonr estates getting on, Jock ." J. M— — a : " The rents are coming m badly, and I'm bhinkin' o' a general eviction policy. S.meo' tbe tenanbs haven't paid any r nts for three years back."

W— — r : <« Why nob lend them Borne of the oheap money to pay their rents with. Ib will be an awful blow to our policy if we starb evicting." W d : " The Lending Board is boo parbicular aboub security. I know of my own experience thab raising loans is a more difficult process tban ib was, and another thing I may bell you, things will go bad with us ab bhe general election m the South." T n : "If bhey are half as bad m the South as they are up my way, we are m for an out-and-out licking." P r : "Ib can'b be helped, boyp, bub we'll die fighting ; and someone ought to speak m Wellington to try and answer Stout. Who'll volunteer ?"

W d: "Nob I; you are the only man to tackle tbe job." P r : " Well, I don'b often back down, bub a Wellington audience is not- the sorb of thing I hanker afber. Suppose you try your hand, J 3 ; you might get a hearing on the prohibition rackeb," »

H. — J : " I am nob ambibious ; and the plaoe of honor is yours ; beside., there is nobbing m your policy a man could spread himself on." P r : '« None of your insinuations. You are here to obey, not to rule. I haven't taken a back seat yeb."

W rj " I hear you are likely to do so. Wesbland people mean to try a change "

P r: " Don't trouble yourself aboub my scab. I'm going bo spend a few weeks among bhe boys, and I've gob a card or two up my sleeve for that constituency yet. How are your chances, Jock ." J. M c : « I'd like to find something safer than Waihemo. Scobie's sniffling around bhere, bub he may try aome obher plac ?, bub W — d bhere has done all the .mischief."

W d: " Sir ! you may expect a writ from my lawyeia for libel at once."

M— — c : " Hoo.b man, ye're aye fond of talkin o' i.be'a, bub ib was a torry day for.ua when we took you m the Mini.bty."

W— -d : «« You have rained ub with your estabe baying. Why, there Isn't one of them that doean'fc leave a big loss every year, and you're that pig-headed yoa keep buying more." 0 n : " Yes, if I had had the money he has wasted to do something for mining, some good would have oome of it."

W-— d : " Yes, and I hope you'll get yoar grael m bhe Horowhenua Enquiry."

JJ— c :<• I'll gruel yoa " •.__*? a Blae Book weQ b saiHng through the air; bhe new M a took refuge under the table, and bhe meeting broke np.

mJ., ! *setr5 etro PO , »»»a Railway coab more tbaa half a million pounds per mile. ... *l ■ « en dldQ b 0 PP OBa th « women m their efforts bo gain their righbs, the women wouldn't think bhey had any rights to gain. '