MR AND MRS BOWSER.

North Otago Times, Volume XXXV, Issue 7274, 23 October 1891, Page 4

MR AND MRS BOWSER.

• Wbat's the matter and what hire yoa got there 1* queried Mn Bowser a* he oame home the other day half an hoar ahead of his usual time, and being loaded do#n with a heavy purohase of •Otntthiog. •Don't ask me inj questions now !' he replied, at be dropped hii hat and squirmed out of his overcoat* * Is anything wrong— ire yousioki 1 ■be anxiously demanded. Bht turned pate and fell upon the tofa, and ha hurriedly broke the btrtag Mooting the package, seized the three qoait hot lot which oomprieed its con. tents and raihed upstairs, down the back stairs, down into the basement and up ag»io. A strange, diiagre^able odor followed him aa he hustled around, and by the time he h»d rotumel to the ■lttiog room Mra Bow.ier had n covered ■uffioiently to sale : 4 Mr Bowier, what on eaith ate you doing and what in the name of goodness ll that staff? * What have I been doing 1 Saving oar lives, Mrs Bowser— saving the lives of every one under this roof !' •Bat I— I didn't know our lirei ware in danger.' 1 Of oourse not. If the house was on fire from top to bottom tod the firemen pitching our furniture out of the wtadows, you might possibly realite the fact, but it has never struck you that death silently lurks in every room io this houif.' 1 How you talk, Mr Bowser ! What has been hanging over us V 'Mtcrobea, Mrs Bowser! 1 he whispered, as he sat down and wiped bis betted face. ' Microbes and bacteriamillions of 'em !' 'It can't be!' ehe replied. • Can't U ! You've lived in New York two weeks, been out as far as Broadway once, and yon think you know all about it ! I know, of course, bat hating so many other things to tee to this one slipped my mind until to* day.' ' Bat what causes that terrible Oiorr • Nothing terrible about it, as I see. On the contrary, I ratber like it. It is the odor of disinfectants, Mrs Bowser ' — the odor of something which baa no doubt saved cur lives.' •Howl' • By killing off the microbes and bacteri», which would soon have entered , our systems aod produoed terrible ill' Dtie, if not death.' 1 Well, I suppose you know best,' she said, as she opened a window to let a yard or two of the carbolic smell dodge out. 4 Certainly 1 dc, certainly. All husbands do. Mrs Boweer, let me draw you a picture of a microbe. You can then realise the danger that menaced up.' He drew the inieot, and as she mr* Teyed it m suipriae and disgust, he continued : ' Nice thing to have about 40 of these birds cantering around through your system, eb V 1 Where do they come from V 1 Sewer gat. By this time to-morrow the house would have been swarming with them, and nothing on eatth could have saved us from typhoid fever or diphtheria. If the microbe was the only thing to look out for I shouldn't have been so anxious, but there is the bacteria.' 'What'Bthati' 1 Here is a pio'ure of him, Cornea in the same way, and bis miasion ii to eat ont the lungp. It is calculated that 2000 of them will eat oat the ■trongest man's langs in a montb,' •And they were in this homo?' she Mked. * Right here, in this house. 1 And ready to be absorbed into our systems]' 'Not only ready, but aaxioue.' 'You are sure you don't mean oockroacbes? I saw two under the ki'cben sink yesterday, and was going to ask you to get some powdered borax.' 'Mrs Bowser!' ho began, as be stood up, ' are you growing soft in the top of yoor head 1 Do I know a Bengal tiger from a woidchuok !' 1 1 — I suppose bo.' 1 But I don't know a microbe or a bacteria from a cockroach V be thundered. 'But I never heard you Bpeak of them before, and I — I ' * Do yoa imagine that I cr any other husband aits down and tells his wife all be knows?' he shonted. • Because I haven't told yon that a jack labbit's la^s have three joints is that any reason why I haven't known it for 40 years V 1 But this is medical soience, isn't it?' she softly protet ted. 'And I suppose it is. Do you suppose I've gone sloshing aronnd all (hene yetrs with nothlDg but a recipe for making soft soap in my head V She wna gileat, end after striding op and down the room a few times he halted before her and continued : ' A wife isn't expected to koo* these things, of course, but I'd bt accounted » pretty husband and father and member of a scientific clab if I didn't know all about microbes and bacteria. 1 'But that picture of a bacteria looks like a lobster,' she persiited. 'Lobster! Looks like a lobster, does it 1 Yery well, Mrs Bowser, tbis discussion will end right here. It is plain enough that you haven't the necessary knowledge to appreciate it.' * But don'c you— — ' ' Never you mind, Mrs Bowser ! Let it drop right here. Is supper ready ?' The odor was so Btrong in the dining room that the butter tasted of it, and after supper the cook called Mra Bewaer into the kitchen to ask : 1 Is it going to be 1 ke this all the ttmeV ' Ob, no* Mr Bowser had to kill off the microbes and baoteria, you see.' < What', then V * I'll hare him come out and explain.' 'No need of it, ma'am, for my bundle is all made up, and I'm going. A man who'll drag dead oats through kisTiouse would cheat a poor girl out of her wages at tbe end of a month. Microbes and btotsrlt, oh I don't

beiiero it ! Let him snow them to mff up in the Zoological Gardens P When Mrs told Mr Bowser what had occurred he bristled up, got ted in the face, ond exclaimed : • I Beo how it is ; couldn't carry your point with roe, and so you wont out and upset the girl ! M rs Bowsor, vou are treading on dangerous ground ■ — very dangorous. A husband may be a worm, but if that worm is stcppod on too often he turns !'