FUNNY NAMES.

North Otago Times, Volume XXXV, Issue 7266, 14 October 1891, Page 4

FUNNY NAMES.

A Somerset bouse clerk ban lately declared (but the tedium of bis labor on the registry of b.rtbs and deitbt >s often relieved by coming acrots a humorout juxtaposition of nsme^ There it, indeed, a good deal of humor in ibe Somerset House Registry, the fan consisting in ao edd or barbarous collocation if nsnifp. For hours the eye o' the clerk will ro«tn over roams of dull ptopriety in «u;h name3 u Heory W Inon, George Williams, or Ssmaal Smith ; and then the faco of the clerk will bo oorered with a aroile at bo cornea across 'Ethet' for the front m&e attached to the euroame of 1 Spray.' It may leera strange, but it J8 certainly true, thst entered in the booki is 'foot-bath,' whiob muBt be wruteo in capitals, •FOOT-BATH, 1 as really tbo name of a fo'lovr-crcaturo. 1 River Jordm' is ano'lier case in [,omf, Mr Jordan bid a ch 1 1 to namo, and, HUe » freo-born Ijtitin, he caitnel b/s rij»ht to ntme U no ha plD.ised. Uofortunotely, tbn narao h> f elect d has left tho sex of ihe child r^tbec <lonbt(u!. Mr 'Anlbistle 1 bad a d^ughtr f> name, »nd bo mmt be forgiven for giving her the Christian njiues *K^8o Shamrock' 'Koao Shamrock Anthistle' is a young lady whose names mult p!e3»3 any patrlot'c tonn, Auotber happy father who gave hia innocent cffaprinfii the namea * Arthur WtUs'ey Wellington Waterloo Cox/ bFhaTei rather unfairly to the Infant, ai he pledged bun to a career of greatUP8 . The buhy must have bad somo rJ (Bculty in understanding t')ft oblii»>». tioua smpoped upon bra. Probably Matter 'Arthur,' etc., etc., founu it difficalt to J»re up to his names, and despairingly endured an existence wbioh gare no prom tee beyond modto* crity. tow « F-noy Amelia Lucy Ann Rebecca Frost O'Connor Douall Luck Holberry Duffy Oaitler Hill' it is to be hoped has realised all the expectations formed of her when ehe receired her baptUmal namec, somewhere aboot the time of the Chartist agitation. One lady is actually going about with tix and-t»eoty 'front name*' — one for each letter of the alphabet io itt prr p)r order, as ' Ann B j rtba Ceclia,' uud bo oo down to • Xeonphon, Yetty, and Zeus,' Some cbtldreo^ have been rather cruelly Darned, io • maanor which for ev* r remioda them th»t they have made a mtstake or committed a fault in comJDg into the world. Thue, • One Too Miny Harry,' or 'Not Wanted J^mea,' may be hafpy young men j but if they are, i'. is in npite of their name'. 'Tarn'., Ir, Ch«rle«,' or • Who'd Jblare Thought if, Tom ' are names which c-rtamly giTe otorance to a mild surprise. i CnoieU'a Ma^nzlne.

One lawyer said to aootrer, 'What l§ the reaooD that you are bo bald V 1 0 !' H*id the other, ' did you not knoir the reason 1 Wby, I wa« pUoked •t co 1'ge.' A Buccrssfal exhibition (ta'egnphe • New York cortevponden ) took place on August 12 it Willflk'n Point of a, | new elec ric torjiedo-book just com. pleted for the GoTerotnebt. Tho re. fjQireroootfl of Ibe contract woro r •peed ofl8 milea »n hour, with a cable of 11 000 tetb Those were, I o»revor, *\c tdo8, the boat makng a spend o f 20 miles an hour, «od travelling 12*000 f^et in bx minutes, and carrying tt c*ble two and a h»lf miles Jong, ""jlr SitDB, the iareuior, conducted tho teet experiaieot under »ho direo-ion of the nulitity and naval officers, and iD prefeoco of n number cf invited guests representing foreign Governments, all of whom declared the b?at to be a complete success. ' I tell you, old nun,' »atd the detec tive, 'you oufth' to coosulta p'lyBiclan. Yon don't Eeem like your old boIK' • Hush/ whs the reply, * Big case. I'm in di>£ij'B8. r