MISCELLANEOUS.

North Otago Times, Volume XXXV, Issue 7265, 13 October 1891, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A novel mode of advertising for a wifo h,»s been ndoptcd by an inhabitant of a provincial town. A photograph of the gentleman is placed in tho window of a shopkeeper, and underneath i.s tho following notice : "Wanted, a femalo companion to tho above. Apply at thin office.*' "I never can be moro than a siater to you," said a buxom widow, tenderly, to an old bachelor who had proposed. " Ah, madam, yea you can," he responded gallantly, " 1 am not a man to lose hope " " Yea, but I cannot," sho persisted. "But," he said, "you have daughters ; you may yet be my mothdr-in-law." A French officer had received a bullot in his thigh ; ho was conveyed to tho hospital. For eight days the doctors were probing and torturing him, until, losing all patience, he aBked them what they were doing. " Searching for the bullot," waa tho reply, — " Why hadn't you siiid so before?" tho victim exclaimed, "I'vo got it in my pocket !" " It is a great pity," naid a judgo to an embezzler, "that you should have lost your character." — "Yes, judgo, so it is, especially as it was tho only character in thus town worth saving," answered the culprit. " A thousand dollars for chat little picture !" " Yes'm, but it ia in oil, you know, and " " I didn't think of that. What an awful monopoly that Oil Company is !" Fred : Father will soon have another wife to keep — I urn going to get married. Judgo to criminal — " I didn't hear you say you had boon married or I would not have asked you if you had ever been punished before."