MISCELLANEA.

North Otago Times, Volume VI, Issue 113, 19 April 1866, Page 1 (Supplement)

MISCELLANEA.

" Hare you much fish in your bag ?" asked a person of a fisherman. " Yes, there's a good eel in it," was the rather slippery reply. " Tom, who do you say our friend B. married ?" " Well, ho married forty thousand pounds— I forget her other name." Man travels to expand his ideas ; but woman, judging from the number of boxes she invariably takes with her, travels only with the object of expanding her dresses. A person who was told that bone-dust was used by some unscrupulous bakers, remarked — " What's bred in tho bone can't be helped ; but bone in the bread is quite another matter." Giving a Character.— The Ilumboldt " Register," after speaking of an old friend who is about to leave for New York to sell mining claims, winds up in the fo'lowing style : — " After a long acquaintance, wo do not he3itite to recommend him to our friends in tho East, to the extent of being responsible for anything he may steal." A young lady refused to go into tho Woolwich Arsenal tho other day because she heard that some of tho muskets wero without breeches. There's delicacy for you ! A German journal relates tho following anecdote, on tho authority of a traveller, recently returned from Africa : — " A wealthy Arab, residing near tho frontiers of Morocco, lately paid his first visit to Algiers, and was present at a ball. On his return home ho said to his wives — ' What strange creatures theso French women are ! Would you believe it ? they actually carry an open umbrella under their petticoats." Such was the idea formed of crinoline by this son of Mahomet. On a recent occasion, one of our friends was coming up from York, by the North-Westcrn Railway, and it appeared — as ill-luck would have it — that there sat opposite to him a gentleman with remarkably long legs, which he was not very particular about digging into our friend's knees. On the arrival of tho train at Birmingham, the long-legged man obssrved to his neighbor : " I shall get out and stretch my legs hero a bit, as we wait ten minutes." " For goodness' sake, sir, don't do that !" said our friend, " for I am quite sure they are too long by half already." Dr Johnson was once met by a coxcomb in Cheapside, who seemed determined to move on in a right line, in defiance of the law of the causeway, and who insolently exclaimed to tho Doctor, "Do you think I'll turn out of my way for a fool ?" " Well, well," said Johnson, " if you won't, I will." The Young Housekeeper's Friend. — IIow to know when meat is fresh : keep it until it gets bad, and you will then learn exactly how fresh it was at first. IIow to get a good servant : keep on discharging the bad ones till you meet with ono that suits you. How to discourage the perquisite system : never buy anything of anybody. An attempt having been recently made to garrotte one of the " subs" of tho Boston " Daily Advertiser," by two or three radians, that gentleman has issued the following ; — Notice to Highwaymen, Garroters, and other Disreputable Persons. — The editor of tho " In General" column wishes it to be distinctly understood that he always carries at night a tenbarrelled revolver in his breast pocket (warranted to go off, unless the robber does) , a Spanish stiletto up his sleove, and brass knuckles on his left hand ; and that he wears a cast-iron hat, and has two steel spikes in the back of his coat collar. He is followed — at a considerable distance behind — by a large and very savage dog. A good story is told of a recent smash-up on a Western railroad. A soldier who, in coming from Baltimore to Rock Island, had met with four accidents, was on this occasion in the car that completely turned over. Making his way through a window, and gaining an upright position, he looked around and coolly inquired, " What station do you call this ?" A man in Atalanta had a well nearly filled with rubbish which he wanted cleaned out. The freedmen in that country are not much in favor of work, and are difficult to hire ; but the owner of the well quickly started a good story that an iron safe belonging to tho express company, and full of gold, had been thrown into tho well when the city was evacuated. In less than an hour his yard was filled with negroes, who cleaned out his well in almost no time. But they didn't find tho safe. Mouse Power. — A pentleman in Scotland has trained a couple of mice, and invented machinery for enabling them to spin yarn. The work is done on the treadmill principle. It is to constructed that tho common house mouse is enabled to make atonement to society for past offences by twisting and reeling from 100 to 200 threads per day. To complete this the little pedestrian has to run ten and a-half miles. This journey it performs every day with ease. An ordinary mouse weighs only half an ounce. A halfpenny's worth of o\tmeal, at Is. 3d. per peck, serves one of theso treadmill culprits for tho long period of five week9. In that time it makes 110 threads per day, being an average of 3850 threads of 55 inches, which is nearly nine lengths of the reel. A penny is paid to women for every cut in the ordinary way. At this rate a mouse earns 9d. every five weeks, which is one farthing per day or 7s. 6d. per annum. Tako 6d. off for board and Is. for machinery, there will arise 6s. clear profit for every mouse yearly. The mouse employer is going to make application for tho lease of an old empty house, the dimensions of which are 100 feet by 60 in height, which, at a moderate calculation, will hold 10,000 mouse mills, sufficient room being left for keepers and some hundreds of spectators. Allowing L200 for rent and taskmasters, Ll0,000 to erect machinery, and L5000 for the interest, there will be left a balance of L2300. The following " correct form" of the orthodox method of devising property is taken from Symond's Mechanics of Law-making : — I give you aU and singular my estate and interest right title claim and advantage of and in that orange with all its rind skin juice pulp and pips and all right and advantage therein with full power to bite cut suck and otherwise eat the same or give the same away as fully and effectually as I the said A. B. am now entitled to bite cut suck or otherwise eat the same orange or give the same away with or without its rind skin iuice pulp and pips anything hereinbefore or hereinafter or in any other dood or deeds instrument or instruments of what nature or kind soever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding. v Colonel Murray, of Polmaise and Touohadam, is building a splendid mansion at Oambuibarron, now Stirling, in the Scottish baronial style. Its estimated costie about L30.000.