ABOUT TOWN

Northland Age, Volume XVIII, Issue 13, 12 November 1948, Page 2

ABOUT TOWN

At the Borough Council meeting the other night, a nice chap named Mackenzie from out beyond Herekino, said that the gentlemen round the table looked affluent. Now the dictionary says—l looked it up—that this means : I.—A tributary stream ; now I don't think he meant that. I don’t think those worthy burghers sup that much. 2.—Luxrious, rich, wealthy, profuse, ample. He was looking straight at me when he said it. If he meant the first part of (2) to apply, then I take a bow and thank him prettily. If he meant the last part of (2), then cuss him, and may all his homebrew turn to vinegar. ■ir With this bottle drive that’s coming, there is a chance that more beer will be consumed. What excuses will be offered by the proletariat to their worthy spouses. I know a few residents of town and country that have been practising for such an event for years. Now their time has come, so now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party. Wacko! * With cynical mein, Lionel Thompson sat in conclave with others of his ilk th# other night at a fire bug assembly. They spoke of this and that, and this poor scribe was more than overwhelmed with their deliberations. I sat dumb—that is, as dumb as it’s possible for me to be. But imagine my horror when friend Lionel took up the cudgels against the Gentlemen of the Press. He started to crack nasty puns. How I abhor Poets and Punsters, Lionel, how could you ? ’Tis revolting ! ! ☆ A la Bairnsfather, The Jay on Wednesday night last thought he knew of a better ’ole, so he went out to Herekino to find it. In this he was unsuccessful. But he found things that were far brighter and far better. Instead of falling into a slough of mud, he fell into a slough of despond. What a man the prune is. Does he stick his chin out ! ☆ I went with him just to look the place over, and of course, to add tone to what might have been a lowly affair. There was a

dance and robbery being staged by the Yugo-Slav girl. I learned many things out there. For one, I quickly learned that Herekino Heave. I can’t say that I am yet a past master in this art, but twenty yards is not bad for a first effort. AJnd the bolttle was quite empty, too. . _ ☆ 'I saw Jack Reid out there, still on crutches, but that doesn’t seem to impair his style in some directions. * Then there were a crowd of Murrays to choose one. All good chaps, but definite menaces. The Lunjevich family. Least said, soonest forgotten, thank heaven. A Then there was my dear friend Abel tripping a light fantastic with his lady. She made a better job of it than he did, it must be admitted. I got angry with him. Someone badly wanted me to have a botle of brandy for medicinal purposes, but that man Abel was able to beat me to the Cain and Abel for the chit of paper that I wanted. ☆ There is still no sign of the ham yet. Hope springs eternal from this manly breast. I think the way things are that I had better settle for a half lamb. ☆ A terrible thing has happened. I was going down Commerce Street a few minutes ago, and in all innocence I approached a scene of cold-blooded robbery, to wit, a Public Service Stall. A lady said the usual old words “would you ...” to which I gave a definite negative. She in reply said “Oh, you must have some pennies to give us. You can’t refuse us with a face like that.” Now, just what she meant, I know not, but I do know this. Cabinet Ministers have quailed before this sternness, and gangsters have shuddered in horror on sighting it. It is no use the dear lady trying to square off. She is mine enemy as from this day ! BEWARE ! ! ☆ I’m off with The Jay. So you can just go for your lives. Enjoy yourselves. Have no fear whatsoever. You can talk yourselves into all the trouble that I have saved you from in the past, I have bourne trouble for you long enough. So, farewell ! !