THE “BUSKERS.”

Northland Age, Volume VIII, Issue 25, 9 February 1912, Page 8

THE “BUSKERS.”

: AN AMUSINfe LITTLE CHARAO--8 | ter SKETCH OF a TOURING - | ■ ‘ TWAIN. i; They had taken their stand outr i side a chemist’s shop in a circle of - pale-green light. j There were two of them. One was ji a whining Cockney, with a painted ! nose which the green light caused to l appear funereally black instead of f humorously red. The other was a ? short stout, very dignified man, with 3 a pale, puffy face, that could hardly I be described as clean-shaven. i The Cockney did most of the talking. e “Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, “me and Mr. George Alexander the f Great—my friend here on the right—e are actors. Mr. Alexander, I may . :*say, has appeared before all the 8 crowned heads of Europe who I I thought proper to turn up. } "But to-night he has put his pride f in his pocket—where it has precious H little company, by the way—and has come out here. And mei, too—l’ve _! met with no end o’ success in my j. time, likewise ; only the worst o’ * meeting thing is that they’re always e going the other way. L . "So we’ll proceed at once to playi the fool, if some of you will only first show us the way, by throwing a little encouragement into the ’at.” A coin rattled on the stones. '"Thank you, ma’am ! Smile for * the lady, George ! Ah, ain’t he got j. a sad face ? ‘Nough to make any--1 body sad, though, to have a face like that ! Come, come, my noble sportsmen ! Tuppence-ha’penny threepence ! Thank you, sir ! Smile e again, George ! Threepence-halfpenny —fourpence ! My word ! We only 2 want nine-and-eightpence now to e make up the half-quid !” f j "That’s right,” whispered Mr. 2 Alexander hoarsely. ""Pitch ’em 2 j some more of your patter, Dan. It 3 j don’t happen to be my day for act- - ing the goat.” '"Must have a rest sometimes in e course,” said Dan. e Just then a penny, thrown with 1 considerable force, struck Mr. Alex--5 | ander on the nose. 3 "Smile George!” the crowd yelled f rapturously, as he raised his hand, i with a wrathful exclamation, to the j injured member. el "Gentlemen,” expostulated Dan, "I really can’t see what there is to }!laugh at !” j | "In course you can’t. You ain’t 3 ! looking at it !” someone pointed out. f ! "Don’t waste another word on ’em, , | Dan !” spluttered Mr. Alexander, r | "Give the band the cue to play ’em | out, and ring down the rag !” j i "Humour ’em, guv’nor—humour t ’em !” said a paying member of the t audience soothingly. "Look here. I’ll [ make up the tanner myself.” , j "Thank you !” replied Mr. Alexan--1 1 der stiffly. "But I require neither j ! your money nor your advice ! And . let me tell you, sir, that by wasting | the one you discount the value of the j I other !” » i "Talks like a book, Bill, don’t he ?’ exclaimed a girl admiringly. . i "Yuss,” assented her swain. "A *! book as nobody wants to read, hut

i what can’t be shut up.” He raised ! his voice. '"How about that fivepence ha’penny, though, guv’nor ?” "Have no fear. Your halfpenny shall be returned to you in full,” j | said Mr. Alexander haughtily. Again the eloquent,Dan stepped forward. "Ladies and gentlemen and fellowcreatures,” he shouted, "you will all be very pleased to hear that my distinguished friend and colleague, Mr. Alexander the Great, notwithstanding ” "‘Smile, George !” murmured someone. "Mr, Alexander,” Dan repeated, "is willing to go on jwit.h the programme and give you his famous selection from ‘The Silver King,’ provided one more penny is forthcoming. But, you see, him having to do a millionaire in this act, besides two other characters, unless he’s got at least a tanner to jingle in his pocket he can’t j feel the part, as us actors say, And Mr. Alexander, being an artist, there’s only one thing keeps him off the stage, and that is ” "Eggs !"■ suggested a sepulchral voice. "Well, well,” said Dan, “I don’t much care who makes the jokes, so long as somebody does the laughing. My own jokes are a- bit thin, I admit. But, then,” he added, with a touch of pathos, "so am I. Thank ' you, lady ! Got that smile into working order again, George ? I think we shall require it. Thank you, sir ! Thank you, ma’am ! Now, George—smile 1 Do smile, George, even if it hurts you !”—"Answers,” THE SAME BREED, A tourist was stopping at a small country hotel, and, seeing that the ostler was very smart in general with his business, inquired how long he had lived there, and what countryman he was. “I’se Yorkshire,” said the ostler, “and Aa lived sixteen years here.” “I wonder,” replied the tourist, "that in so long a period so clever a fellow as you seem to he have not come to he master of the hotel yourself.” “Ay !” replied the ostler, "but , maister’s from Yorkshire too-!" "This beetle paste I purchased here i doesn’t seem to kill the beetles at all.” ”Ah ! »ou see, madam, the properties of this preparation are not to kill the. beetles at once., bht to undermine their copstitutlons."