INSTINCT OR REASON?

Northland Age, Volume IV, Issue 50, 3 August 1908, Page 7

INSTINCT OR REASON?

TWO TOUGH OLD YARNS, 3

The Rev. Richard Barham, the author of the immortal “Ingoldsby Legends,” told many “tough” stories in his time, in plain prose as well as verse. A couple come to mind, apropos of the wonderful tales, true and imaginaiy, of bird and beast intelligence in support of the plea for something more than sagacity in certain of the lower animals. Here they are, as Barham himself narrated them over sixty years since, none the worse for the keeping or for the fact that garbled versions have been given by later reconteurs. THE PROFANE MAGPIE, A certain notable housewife had observed that her stock of pickled cockles was running low and blamed her cook, thereby causing a degree of coolness and estrangement which the continued rapid disappearance of the pickled cockles by no means contributed to remove.

The lady became very distant, and spoke pointedly and before company of “some people's unaccountable partiality to pickled cockles,” etc. The cook felt that her character was at stake, and was indignant accordingiy. One day, the jar containing the evanescent condiment being placed on the dresser, while she was busily engaged in basting a joint before the fire, she happened to turn suddenly around, and beheld, to her great indignation, a favourite magpie, remarkable for its conversational powers and general! intelligence, perche.d by its side and dipping its beak down the open neck with every symptom of gratification.

The mystery was explained—the thief detected ! Grasping the ladle of scalding grease which she held in her hand, the exasperated cook dashed the whole contents over the hapless bird, exclaiming, “Oh, you’ve been at the pickled cockles, have ye ?”

Poor Mag, of course, was dreacffulily hurt. Most of his feathers came off, leaving his little round pate, which had caught the principal part of the volley, entirely bare.

The poor bird moped about, lost all his spirit, and never spoke for a whole year. At length, when he had pretty well recovered, and was beginning to chatter again, a gentleman called at the house who, on taking off his hat, discovered a very bald head.

.The magpie, which happened to be in the room, appeared violently struck by the circumstance : his reminiscences were at once powerfully excited by the naked appearance of the gentleman’s head. Hopping upon the back of his chair, and looking him all over, he suddenly exclaimed in the ear of the astonished visitor, “Oh, you've been at the pickled cockles, have ye ?” THE TERRIER POLICEMAN. A terrier dog in Romney Marsh, having been desperately maltreated and bitten by a savage mastiff, raff off nine miles to the house of Mr.' Strickland, a justice of the peace, where he had often before been with his master, who was a parish constable. He got into the library, jumped upon Mr. Strickland’s table, seized a blank assault warrant In his jaws, and bolted with it. He then ran back td his master with the instrument in< his mouth, and, wagging his tail, did all in his power to induce the latter to follow him and take his assailant into custody. It cannot, however, fail to be remarked how the omission to obtain a signature to the paper served to confirm the fact that the sagacity of the most intelligent brute never passes that mysterious line which invariably separates instinct from reason.