Here and There.

Northland Age, Volume 3, Issue 39, 14 May 1907, Page 7

Here and There.

At an examination at an English school the teacher was so pleased with ms class that he said they could ask him any question they liked. Some were'asked and replied to. Seeing one little fellow in deep thought, the teacher asked him for a question. The boy answered, with a grave face:— “ P-please, sir, if you was in a soft mud-heap up to your neck, and I was to throw a brick at your head, would you duck ?” The answer is not recorded.

Barked vour Shins? Well try Dr. Sheldon’s Magnetic Liniment. It will take away all the pain and stiffness, and yon will forget afi about it. Obtainable at: J. Evans and Sons, Waipapakauri; T. Houston, Ahipara; B. V. Johnston, Kaitaia; J. McKay, Fairbum; W. C. Bunkall. Herekino.

A certain nhotographer never says to a lady customer, “Now, look pleasant, madam, if you please.” He knows a formula infinitely better than tliat.

In the most natural manner in the world he remarks, “It is unnecessary to ask madam to look pleasant; she could not look otherwise.” Then click goes the camera, and the result is never in doubt.

You wilKbe surprised how much better you feel if sour stomach is in good condition. Dr. Sheldon’s Digestive Tabules will prove your digestion at once. Obtainable at: J. Evans ana Sous, Waipapakauri ; T. Houston, Ahipara; R. V. Johnston, Kaitaia ; W. C. Bunkall, Herekino; J. McKay, Fairbum.*

A country editor, who evidently speaks from experience, describes “the biggest trust” as follows: “ The biggest trust oi earth is the newspaper. It trusts everybody, gets cussed for trustiug, mistrusted for cussing, and if it busts for trusting, gets cussed for busting.”

Watery eves are one of the signs of influenza. Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery affords immediate relief. Give it a trial. Guaranteed in all cases of Chest and Bronchial Complaints. Obtainable at: J. Evans and Sons, Waipapakauri; R. V. Johnston, Kaitaia; J. McKay, Fairbum; W. C. Bunkall, Herekino; T. Houston, Ahipara.*

“Beg pardon, sir,” observed the tough-look-ing waiter, suggestively. “Gentlemen at this table usually—er—remember me, sir.” “ I don’t wonder, ” said the customer, cordially. “ That mug of yours would be hard to forget.” And he nicked up his bill and strolled leisurely in the direction of the cashier. Stops the Pain Instantly—The pain caused by a bum or scald will be instantly relieved if Dr. Sheldon’s Magnetic Liniment is applied. A most useful household remedy to always have on hand. Price, Is. 6d. and three shillings. Obtainable at: J. Evans and Sons, Waipapakauri; JEt. V. Johnston, Kaitaia ; T. Houston, Ahipara; WC. Bunkall, Herekino; J. McKay,

An excited orator singled out from his audience a little German, who seemed much impressed, and thus addressed him : “ Furriner, didn't you come to this country to escape from tyraunical, down-trodden, and oppressive Europe ? Didn’t you flee to these happy shores to live in a land of freedom, where the great right of suffrage is guaranteed to all ? Didn’t you, furriner?” He paused for a reply, when the little pedlar squeaked out: “No, sur; I comes to dis country to sell sheap, ready-made clothes.”

Sudden fall in temperature is generally a forernnnerof an epidemic of Coughs and Colds. Be prepared by keeping a bottle of Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery in the house. Obtainable at: J. Evans and Sons, Waipapakauri; R. Y. Johnston, Kaitaia; J. Mckay, Fairbum; W. C. Bunkall, Herekino; T. S Houston, Ahipara.* “ Sir!” said the injured party, “ you stuck your umbrella into my eye.” “ Oh, no,” replied the cheerful offender, “you are mistaken.” ‘ ‘ Mistaken ?’’ demanded the irate man. ‘ ‘ You idiot. I know when my eye is hurt, I think.” “Doubtless,” replied the cheerful fellow, hut you don’t know my umbrella. I borrowed this one from a friend. Good-day.”

Makes Sore Lungs Well—Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery for Coughs, Colds and Consumption 'is the most wonderful dilcoA enjoin medical scienc* of the 2C|h cjntury.l lifsAe result of 20 years’ chemif^rlgAyrchif die MAaerica’s most M. Sheldon, a gmdpat <j*m the New York City and Bellevue university, I No sufferer from lung troubles can afford not to try the remedy. Priee Is. 6d. and three shillings (3s). Obtainable at J. Evans and Sons Waipapakauri; T. Houston Ahipara; R. V. Johnston Kaitaia • J. McKay Fairbum.

t “ Yes,” said the tramp who Was explaining his method. “ I always tell the lady of the house that I was iujured on the field.” “ What field?” asked the inexperienced beginner. “Well, if it’s a young lady I say footbal field, an’ if it’s an old lady, I say battlefield.”

Au Earnest Plea—You are earnestly urged if sick to try, without dangerous loss of time, the merits of that successful remedy Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery far Coughs, Colds, and stroy rgjff* tlesjpWemng deathrosy It is a grellnnistifle Jto allow these microbes to work away undisturbed in your delicate bronchial tubes and lung tissues, when but a few doses of this pleasant restorative, curative medicine will get rid of them, and relieve your system from their baneful influence. Take Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery for Coughs, Colds, and Consumption, and you will never regret it. If unsatisfactory, money back. .Obtainable at: J Evans &Sons, Waipapakauri . R. V. Johnston, Kaitaia; J.McKay, fairbum; W. C. Bunkall, Herekino; T. Houston, Ahipara.*

A young man who had prolonged his call on his lady love rather later than usual was surprised when the window in an upper storey was raised as he left the house, and the voice of the mistress of the house called out : “ Leave an extra quart this morning, please.”