IN THE BEGINNING.

Northland Age, Volume 2, Issue 44, 12 June 1906, Page 8

IN THE BEGINNING.

BY. LITTLE JOHNNY. I sed did Uncle Ned kno wot makes woter run of a duckx back, and he sed, Uncle Ned did, Yes, Johnny, thats about the only thing with I am prep&ired to pas a xmanation on with out lookin to the tex books. Sum how it sticks in my remember like it grew thare. One da Addam he was a walkin by the river Maguzalem, wich runs thru the gardin of Ejum, and he seen a frog, a settin on the bottem, where the woter was shallo. with his hod a stickin out in the air, mity comftable. Pretty soon the duck he como long, and, not seein Addam. snook up close to the frog, the duck did, and peckt him real crewel and broke his back. If yu cetch a frog yu wil se the hump whare his back was broke. Addam ho let on he dident se nuthing and went a way, a thinkin how sinfle was the yumau hart.

One da not long after, Addam was standin by side a pool of coal oil wich had gusht from the erth and was smellin mity bad, wen the duck he come along. Addam he sed, Good mornin, and the duck he sed, That’s so, mity polite. Then Addam he spoke up and sed, Wot for did you pock the frog ?

The duck he tost his hed, contemtble, and sed, lie is so disgust in clean that he makes me tierd. He is always takin a bath.

Addam sed, Dont yu ewer take a bath yure own self ? The duck sed, No, I dont ’cos cleonity is nuthing but only jest a babbit., and wotter is pizen. Addam he smild sarcasticle and sed I ges it is cos yu dont kno how tosw'im.

So the duck, wich had a mity near] sited nose and cudent smel the coali oil, he dived in, real fine, and swam! out agin mity fast, and wen he had| come ashore he wasent fit for to be saw and smelt offle ! So he made* sum foelin remarks and ran to the; rivver and tried for to wosh it of,but the wotter it wudent take hold.' He had ben tryin ever since, and that, is wy ho is an aquatticle foul.

Wen I tole Billy, thats my bruther, about the oily duck ho sed, Billy did, I ges if he wuld use sope he wuld mebby all rite.

So one day wen our ole duck was a woddlin down to the pond for to bathe Billy got sum yello sope out of the kitchin and flang it to the duck. The ole duck he went to it ami bowd his hed a minnit, much as to say, P’or wot we are about to rececv make us truly thankfle. And then he et the sope evry little tiny bit. up. Bucks quack, and the egle he screcms and the hi eeny he laughphls wen thare isent nuthing for to laughphf at but his own self, the camel snorts out of his nose and Franky, thats the baby, he stubs his ey and rores like distent thunder! Frankys eys is blu, but my sisters yung mans is gray, and wen she looks in to hisen he looks in to hern. And thats wy I say how wunderflo is man !

One time him and her was to the pictcr gallery and she se one that she liked and she sed, Isent that a duck of a painting ? lie sed, Yes in deed, wen thay was a hangin it up I seen the uther side of it. It is a canvas back.

But Uncle Ned scs if ho cudent make a better joke than that he wuld get marrid and rwitc for the cornicle papers if he dide for it. Mister Jonnice, wich has got the wood laig, he ses one time he went to New Jerzy for to be the edditor of a cornicle paper, and the seckond da he was in the offic a feller come in, a wearin a long black cote and lookin like his hart was broke, lie sed good morning, mity sollem, and Mister Jonnice he sed, Whelcom to the Temple of Merryment. have chair, its a fine da, hows bizness ? The feller he sed, I dont kno about the uther things, but the bizness wil depend a good deal on you. Mister Jonnice, he sed, All rite, chear up, line intrested in the prosperty of this town. He go rite home and rwing the neck of my little gerl, and discumbowel my fother in law, and pizen my whife. The sollem feller he sed, Yu fil me with horlble ! I beg yu to paws and considder wot a whicked thing that wud be for to do.

Mister Jonnice he thot a wile, and bime by he sed, Mister Jonnice did, Yes, I ges it mite be looked at that way, and I wudent do sech things only for to help yu. The feller he looked like he dident under stand, and then he sed, Xcuse me if I seem hard for to pleese, but how wuld all them crimes help me ?

Then Mister Jonnice he sed, Aint yu a under taker ?

The feller he looked mornfler than ever and sed, A lass, no, I am Rollicky Ralf, yure cheef contribitor. God willin, yu and me will make the Temple rezound with gle !

A other time a feller ho come a bustin in and a grinnin like he was cats, and he waved a slip of rwiting and hollerd. Hooray ! 1 have dasht of a mity good one, here it is : When is a dore

Mister Jonnice he got up and pinting with his wood laig intrupted him by sayin, It is rite now, this minnit, and thats it, yu pul it shet. The dorc it opend innard.

But if Mister Jonnice wuld order Billy from his dore Billy wuld rentch of his wood laig and iiubru it in his gore !

Billy is the bravest boy wich he has ever se, but the Bible it says thow shal not kkl, cos them wich is kild shal be casted in to a lake of milk and hunny, whare the werm ticth a not in the fier that is quentched. And thats wy I say a good man is the king of boosts —“New York American."