THE HEAD MELTED

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume 79, 10 January 1944, Page 4

THE HEAD MELTED

Mr J. R. Sutcliffe, headmaster oi Melbourne Grammar School, was hot and angry. He had been digging in his garden, where the Army had dumped and buried a load of rubbish after its occupancy of the school, and his spade had jarred against a half-brick. So he held forth without repeating himself on the iniquity of army contractors in general and the enormity in particular of Army Amenities, which insisted on retaining an important school adjunct for its own purposes. The half-brick made him sore, but not so sore as Amenities. Just then a dapper Army officer presented himself to the “Head.” He said he was from Amenities. Again without repeating himself, Mr Sutcliffe said he disliked Amenities intensely, and would their representative kindly withdraw himself —or words to that effect, well chosen words. Amenities diffidently said that he had come to ask if they could play cricket on the school oval when it was not in use. “Certainly not!” replied the “Head,” taking a deep breath to express himself further on the subject. “But what did you say your name was?” Amenities modestly replied that his name was Major W. A. S. Oldfield—usually known as Bert. “Bert Oldfield” exclaimed the “Head.” "My word, do you remember the time you whipped the bails off my distinguished namesake first ball? Do you remember ...” Amenities got their playing field.