THE “RASPERS” CLUB

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LXXI, 31 March 1938, Page 2

THE “RASPERS” CLUB

ITo The Editor!

; Sir,—The defenders of "Liberty" are here. Yes take up thy sword and inarch into battle lest thine eneijjy ; overpowereth thee. The new club is called The Raspers Club. The Gaspers ; ; Club would be more fitting. Yes. MiEditor. we did spend a jolly evening at the Mia Mia tearooms at the official opening of the club. Well it was the first "officiar meeting and one could not help being impressed with the whale of work put in by someone, somewhere, just to kind of give the baby a decent start in life. And w hat a ! gathering sir! There were nearly one , score and ten present and would you believe it drawn from all sections of the community. It was stated at the outset of course, just by way of a friendly gesture that the typing of the articles and rules, etc., of the club, were kindly prepared by the National Party office, just to help a deserving young body and save it a few pence. The Articles and Rules of the club consist of Nine Articles of Faith, five rules and ten commandments and mind ; you. no plagiarism from the Biblical ! authorities about it. Let us just quote j a few in case some people may get I wrong impressions of the aims and obI jeets of the club. Article 1: The Rasp Club is formed I tc unite in common cause all rcd-blood-led New Zealanders who prize their J liberty. i Article 2: The Rasp Club is of no ' fixed political colour and retains the ; freedom to work against any party {whose policy runs counter to the club's j ideal of liberty. i Very lofty ideals indeed. Mr Editor, 'but what sort of a man is this enemy of liberty? Ah we will know him by , his blood: it mutt be white, pink or gieen. And again in Article 4 the club's i watchword is “Liberty." j Alarmed and panic-stricken I rush to the dictionary for a definition. The only one I have is Nuttall's which defines “Liberty" as follows: Acting without restraint; exemption from tyranny: freedom; privilege; exemption; immunity: license; permission, etc. I wonder in what sense the framers of the club’s articles coined the word "Liberty.” We now come to the rules:— Rule 1: Deals with officers and com- ; mittee, etc. 1 Rule 2: Club dues are one shilling pei member per meeting and beer or other refreshment is supplied free by the club. The membership fee is 2s 6d per year from which a club badge is supplied. (The rule does not state 'where the balance goes). Beer (or other refi-eshmenU really is supplied free at the meeting and good brew it is. It kind of bucks one up so. to meet a brutal attack from the enemy. I presume the badges will cost about 2s 6d each: no Jap., stuff here at Is 6d > j per gross and the colour may be red which will be symbolic of article oi Faith No. 1. There is also a distribution of cigarettes at the end of the meeting, just to soothe the nerves a little after the exhausting debates, i The third commandment states: The chairman strikes the rasp at 7.45 p.m. and orders Raspers beer (or other refreshment) and all present receive a glass of real brew: then we settle down to serious business. The rules show that R.A.S.P. is an abbreviation for “Resist-All-Slave Mak-ing-Policies" I suggest "R|ll Up-AU-Simple-mindcd-People" might be more fitting. Believe me. Mr Editor, it's a gigantic effort and just as one is about to waft off in thin air, the chairman strikes the Rasp and gasps. "Have another beer."— I am etc. A. GASPER. Nelson, 31st March.