SPARKS FROM CUPID’S ANVIL

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LVI, 1 September 1923, Page 7

SPARKS FROM CUPID’S ANVIL

MOSTLY MATRIMONIAL

Barrister in Bow County Court: Any fool can fool a counsel. Tottenham Man: When my wife said that. I had been at work it annoyed mo. Row Wife: 1 married to gain experience, and now I have had my basin full. Bow Husband: There are wives mid wives, and I liavo one of the “and

wives. . Willcsdcn Magistrate: Is this fiat furnished ?—Landlady: Well—the gas is laid on. . Wife, dejectedly, in Bow County Court: After you many it is one long ”do as von are told.” Debtor at Bow: My only means are what 1 stand up in and an unused threehalfpenny stamp. Question in Marylebono County Court: Are you married? Man: No, 1 have to work for my living. Landlord at Shoreditch: She threatened to murder me on the following Friday night, but it did not come off. Shoreditch Woman: 1 have a splendid doctor. Ho mended my thumb beautifully. lie is a lovely little man. “A man lias an individuality even though ho has a wife.” —Judge Parfitt at Cierkenwoll County Court. Marylebono Husband: When my wife calls me a fool, of course, I take no notice. I am so used to it. Woman at Willcsdcn : I want, a summons against a one-roonicd gentleman tenant for smacking my face. Policeman at Greenwich: He rode a bicycle the worse for liquor, without a light and smelling strongly of drink. < Wife, in Marylebono County Court: 1 had property when my husband married me, and ! still control both it and him. In Marylebono County Court,: Has this woman moans? Woman: 1 should think she lias. You should see tho Juno roses in her hat! Landlord in Bow County Court: 1 was often “crimed” in the Army, but my only crime since lias been to take in lodgers. Woman moneylender in Bow County) Court: Men are the best payers up. Women will swear their souls away for sixpence. Marylebono Magistrate: The prisoner is your cook? Employer: Yes, temporary cook. Magistrate: They are all temporary nowadays. Marylebono Woman: A woman should never lose her temper in the presence of her fiance, however much she rages in his absence.

Husband in Bow County Court: ,The fact that mv wife writes out betting while stirring tho porridge does not make her a nuisance.

Chairman, at Kingston: Will you promise me not to get tho worse for drink again?—Elderly woman: Oh, yes, sir. It makes me feel so bad. Wife in Mavylebono County Court : Sometimes when a man looks on and funks, a woman will elbow her way through lifo successfully. Willesden Magistrate to an elderly man accused of street hotting: I suppose you are a locum tenens? Tho man: Well, I admit I am a hit old, sir. In Coleshill Police Court:—Clerk: Why/ didn’t you put these stray horses into tho villago pound? Policeman: The pound consists of only six bricks. Magistrate at Willesden: Are you afraid of your mother-in-law? Woman : I shall he at tho end of this month, because her brain changes with the moon.

A lad summoned in Coventry Police Court was stated In he unable to hear when asked to plead. After several vain attempts, the clerk said (o him, “Can’t you hear me?’’ “Yes,” came (lie response. Then when tho chairman questioned him, defendant asked, “Aren’t you trying to bo funny?”