THE WOMAN'S WORLD.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XLII, Issue XLII, 18 February 1907, Page 4

THE WOMAN'S WORLD.

GIRLS WHO KEEP MEN SINGLE. Jforo men turn to 'bachlorhood on their Hrst refusal by the 'girls they} lova and ask to marry than, would | t/e easily imagined in this UllSeflti- - ■ mental nsro. | But. it must be remembered Uitti | this first fatify 111 ft yOUHg lUftll'Slift}; when it is stronfr enough to: steer him to matrimony on a smallsalary, is one of the very strongest' limpulses of his life. And" usually one of the most gxmcrous and: finest. Turned back into the heart, soul, brain, or whenever first love ie born, it frequently be* comes ft destroying influence. But irt most eases it turns the Un-? wolfish iHpUISC tO provide ft hODW fOi'- Iwi) out of his small income into a^more selfish channel. He sets; up as a non-marrying man. | This, whether he is a sontiinonta- ' list who may really suffer being thrown over, or a practical felllow j who can meet the matt.er philosoph ically, telling himself /Ihat thero | ftt-o 6lli?r fish ih the Sett: He will never bo so quick to fall j in love orf So eager to marry again.. Ho will quite likely go 'iii for busiIness success, anxious to eliinindte tho possibity of his being rofusdd . again because his purse is hot big enough: Hurt pridu makes nien bachelors. The selfishness ty-hat sets In with the candi'Won is only d secorklly symptom; Turn back an unselfish impulse, and it will always becomo j a. selfish one. I i L(-t us ffive the belief; wheii fhev | bfler tJieiiiselves to us for Me, that I their -rnonjj}' is more important! than tbey are, and they wiM set ! out to make money, and women will nover count for a&' much in j the scheme of their lives a©aim. j Girls never reckon with these facts: When they refuse A young ' : sWeethefti't beCauSe he-is poof,, tliey ! fancy A Prince, Fortuhatus, who is td come along^by the roddside and pick them out bt Uib factory or tho office or the sfad{> iti. set tfcem on a throne. So women go on mooning and 1 idealising all through life, marrying over-mannered nonentities, po- , sers and' rich .vulgarians rather then men. They are always waiting for a man to come on horseback with a spenr and feathers in hia hat lake ] a matinee actor, I In the meantime, the real men • j and tho fino men, nnd the actually ' generous men, £tre being turned inj tt) professional bache!Br§ by littlo '. \ fodig of girjs, who refuse them be'i cause the men make a few pounds [ less a week 'than tho -various aL mount they, set mysteriously as a . limit. i Ot course, men do not speak of i theSti thing's. (Certainly not when ■ they have becomo bald and chronic J bachelors, with their own comfort- " , ablo rooms, their syndicated valets r ' and. their freedom. iThey may have tho recollection of some time when life seemed very 1 ■ empty because she refused them for . < the reason that she represented tho - , counterpart of angelhood in earthly l '' guise. And this makes the hardened > bachelor smile and ishako hands ' with himself, for hi gave up kleal- • , Isittg women when this especial girl made him count up his money and told him how inadequate it would j be for her ideas as to a matrimonial alliance^ ' Wis has recovered from this shock, i nnd can wonder at his youthful •generosity, He is Snore calculating ! now, and would only marry a rich ' widow or a girl who' might in > some way 'aid him, socially, polie- . ally, or in a business way. There are, of course, exceptions | to tho rule 'that the young man refused by his first love turiis to professional bachelorhood, but the rule i stands nevertheless. Bachlorhood ia a 'result, not a choice. Optimists like to assert, that ■ there are just- as many marriages as ever in proportion to tho popul- : ation, but statistics prove that tberu are fewer marriages of young r poople. ' , There are more marriages than formerly among, the middle-aged, , the recently divorced, and. between i persons of different ages, 'who marry through motive, but the oldi tima marriages between the pi own ■ up boys and girls who love 'each ' other aro not so many. We hear, of course, of the sensational marriages and those celebrated in ballons and lions' cages, but the motive enters into marriage too much rather than loveyoung love that sets everything : aside 'but itself. The young man, who sad and sor rowing, emerges from his first lovo i affair, refused by a girl, who 'means all the world to him, finds that world changed for 'ever, tt becomes by degrees a . very pleasant world, where he has palaces built to ac- ] . commodate him, perfect service, ' good cooking, and 'obliging clerks, boys, and managers on every side. The non-marrying man is distinctly persona grata just ns much as the unattaohed woman is distinctly tho opposite. The verdict always is that the bachelor ia too fastidious to marry or too noi-le or something. But 'tii; unmarried' woman could not get anyone. J And men hug their bachelorhood ' naturally. They 'hnvo passed that J first sentimental turnstile, and they aro wary as partridges of eligSblg ' > girls and widows, |to whom thoir j attentions might seem, serious. Bachelorhood, in short, becomes a profession with them, although they will never hint they were at first cast 'into it because some girl refused them. I Men are more sentimental than women, and this is just the reason ' why so 'many of "them, at middle life, refuse to think of matrimony. They scoff at sentiment openly, but it is only an affectation. It 'is a fine thing that so many girls are able nowadays to tako up the trades and professions by which thoy may support themselves, but it is a sad thing if they a re allowing their little successes to turn away their chances for happiness, and other women's chances, and driving men to bachelorhood. But if you love a man— mind you, if .you love him— and hu loves you, and you are not depriving anyone who needs your help of something you are able to do for them— put your hand in his and start down the road together. Noarly all the rich men of to-day married girls when they had littlo or nothing. The girls were not so independent then, but besides that. they valued a "man rather than his money. I'o not help to cast another man unto the velvet sea of 'bachelorhood. New Zealand Herald ttupplemoment