WEEKLY WHISPERS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XXXII, Issue 89, 23 April 1898, Page 2

WEEKLY WHISPERS.

It there's a hole m a' your coats, I rede ye, lent V it. A ehici's amanq yc takin' notes, And faith he'll prent it. — BUKNS I Oscar Wilde, recently in prison, now engulfed among tho dcclassis, made ,£SUOO in royalties by his plays in two years. Very little of tbia went to his wi*'e and children, nho were turned out of doors by the* landlord soon after his conviction and Mrs Wilde's father, Mr Horace Lloyd, Q.C., had to come to the rescue. Where is Wilde now? One never hears of him, but " Lady Windermere's Fan," "The Ideal Husband," " A Woman of no Importance," and even " Salomi " are still played, sometimes under different titles. « # * Farmer's wife (fco sundowner) : Well, you can have a square meal if you will chop up that wood. Sundowner : Excuse me, mum. I belong to the Nelson Scenery Preservation Society. I havo signed the Ronga and Opoui-i "Valleys petition, and I am pledged never to cut down any of our native forests. # # * Mrs Importer : And what profession is your brother in, Lord Noddy ? Lord Noddy : When Algernon leaves Oxford he will take orders, Miss Importer : Oh will he ? Well, thero are somo really nice gentlemanly young men who take orders for father. # * * A story is going the rounds of a dog being killed in Wellington ,by a New Zealand flea, hnt this is nothing to the Palmerston North and Otaki mosquito. A friend inquired of another who had been to Palmerston how he fared with the mosquitoes, and the answer was " Oh I didn't mind them," " What, not mind them !'■ exclaimed the astonished querist. *' How was that ?" " Oh, after tho first ono bit me I lost consciousness," was tlio explanation given. # * * Whoever heard of a baser strike than that which occurred at a musical society's rehearsal the other night ? When one uses the term " a bass strike,'' he does not mean any tiling more than to imply that no less than 13 people with fine low singing registers put in an appearanco, and were made to practico their parts so often that at length they declined to " go over it again." Where the basses stopped was at '• Let her be " (Letier B). » * * A good joke is going the rounds of Wellington politicians just now. Last Tuesday tho Ministerial organ (whoso new editor has not had timo yet to make a howling success of it) announced officially that the strike of bricklayers at the Parliamentary Buildings was afc an end and that the men had resumed work. Accordingly, to koep up the delusion that work was being pushed ahead day and night, the aro electric lights were kept going all Tuesday night -at enormous expense of course -somo of the unauthorised <£K),00O. Ono curious politician, howover, made special and periodical investigations ou the spot, and discovered thafc all those lamps were lit for three bricklayers, who turned out to be "scabs," ancl nofc even a proportion of the men who had struck. Meantimo the "Conservative liars," ai Mr John JtfoKenzie calls the Opposition press, are refused all information, and no one not of the right colour is permitted to learn anything of the ins and outs of tho big co-operative failure. # # * Another Wellington rumour is thafc one of the banks, which is touched to the tuno of £33,000 by a metropolitan commercial composition, holds security for less than £ 10,000, and that chiefly on a lifo policy. Move developments are threatened. * * * Spain was given till 6 o'clock this morning to clear out of Cuba, a large order which she will probably not obey. As there is much speculation regarding the times at the various places interested, the appended table may be a guide ito those who desire to. form an ostimate. Washington must bo taken as repesenting the longitude of Cuba :— New York . . . G a.m. Washington . . 5.47 a.m. Madrid . . . 10.40 a.m. Auckland , . . 10*35 p.m. London . . .10 55 a.m. * w * That is to say, wlion it is 0 o'clock this morning in Washington ifc would be halfpast ten o'clock last night here, for wo are 7i hours or so behind Washington, but 11 hours *]0 minutes ahead of Greenwich. Spain will havo to give a decision by a quarter to eleven this morning— just time to think tho matter over after breakfast ; and businoss men when they haie been in the ' city in London for about an hour (11a.m.) will bo on the tenterhooks to hear some news. Meantime, as the American fleet will havo to go 120 miles from Key West fco Havana unless they are already thoro or bhoroaboiito, no blow may be struok for 12 hours. That is to say, nothing way be done till some time to-night in tho latitude of Cuba, whon it will be this afternoon wifch us. Allowing for timo for despatch of news, etc., therefore, we cannot oxpecfc to hear anything till to-morrow night at the earliest. # # # Scene : Country houso, family seated at tablo. 'Time: Tea time loat night. Without, rain falling steadily ; within, all is quiotness except for the olatter of the knives and forks and dishes (for the family are hungry). Then a wee little girl mutters botweou tno mouthfnls : " Oh-h it will be wet for tho war to-morrow !" Mofussimtb.