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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume IV, Issue 167, 19 July 1869, Page 2

There is a man in the North who is so bent on accomplishing his purpose, that he has become hunchbacked. The man who couldn't " trust his feelings" is supposed to do busiuees strictly ou the cash priuciple. A Minister's wife tried lo mend her husband's coat with the thread of one of his. discourses. An Athenian was asked what he carried uuder his cloak. I put it there, my friend to conceal if, was the answer. Absolute Fact. — Angry Debtor : " Here's your money, dolt ! Now tell me why your master wrote eighteen letters about that paltry sum ?" Simple shopman : "I'm sure I can't leel, sir ; but if you'llexcuse me, sir, I think it was because seventeen letters did not fetch it." " Are you thinking of wbat I'm saying ? " said a poor music-master to young Miss , after explaining to her at' some length the difference between the major and the minor key. "Why, sir," replied Miss , "I've been thinking all this time whether these keys are ivory or boue." Dm you ever take notice of the palm of a washerwoman's hand — pale, sodden, flabby, wrinkled ; such .will be the state of the inner lining of the stomach if hot tea or other liquids be constantly poured into it. It may easily be understood how incapable it must then become of performing its functions. There is a cant abroad that saving is the main means to future wealth. If such were' the fact, Germany should be the richest country, instead of the poorest on the, face of the globe, for !almost everybody there, as a rule, puts by a certain portion of even? the little ; they earn. Germany is 2; a ;i nation)^ pf -misers, who believe in the hoarding of money rather than the ; profitable investment , of it in any industrial or commercial enterprise ; and hence . the utter^^•degradation-^-socially, i^orailypa^ <^c

Some Poet says the wind kisses the waves. That, we suppose, is the celebrated "kiss for a blow," of which we have heard so much. A Paper says it is willing women should vote if they want to. We should like to see the maii who could make them vote if they didn't want to. A Woman, arrested for stealing fifty pounds of beef, apologised for taking so much, by stating she had no knife to cut it.