To The Editor of the Nelson Evening Mail.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume IV, Issue 96, 26 April 1869, Page 2

To The Editor of the Nelson Evening Mail.

Sir — Should any of your readers think fit to drive over the Collingwood Bridge, and view the sparkling waters of the Maitai, there, upon the silvery surface of its depths -will they behold the bleaching remains of i.ankiii'B celebrated performing dog. Still in death, though true to the life, apparently in the act of one of its great canine feats, motionless and fast, as though under the all powerful influence of Dr Carr, he stands on his head, his hind quarters fixed in a highly ludicrous, though rather unbecoming, attitude, minus the usual amount of wag, and totally bereft of that covering which nature ever bountifully supplies to most members of the canine fraternity, there, rivetted to the spot as a floating monument of Nelson's fast decaying greatness. Was it intended for representation to his Soy al Highness in the light of an emblematical type of the Sleepy Hollow? Oris our energetic Inspector of Nuisances about to commence the study of anatomy, and has thereby fixed upon this particular quarter for the commencement of that study, or is he in a blissful state of ignorance as to the existence of such a nuisance ? Whatever the cause may be, it really ought to be removed. However interesting a. spectacle it may be for the Jate perambulating knife and scissor grinder, to perch upon the railing of the bridge, and weep over the remains of his lost favorite, still it is an undoubted nuisance to those constantly passing over the bridge, especially ladies. As for myself I have seen nothing but performing dog for the last week; I have a great aversion to that kind of dog. I see dog before breakfast, and dog after breakfast. Dog before dinner, and ditto after ditto. I have a decided aversion to tumbling dogs (I mean tumbling to pieces). Nevertheless I see dog before tea, and dog after tea. I have a great antipathy to dogs without any hair on, but for all that, I see dog by fancy painted in my slumbers, and when I wake from feverish dreams X see the shadow of a dog's tail dropping off. I have, I may say, a most particular aversion, to dogs without tails (when they fall off). If somebody would oblige by making a small hole in that dog's — no, not hia skin, he's very little left, I've a great dislike to dogs without any skins— in that dog's body, it might induce hirn to disappear from his present commanding position, also from haunting my peaceful slumbers. If that perambulating cutler, that ground the edge off my razor, Avould bore a small hole, he wouid eternally oblige One *who always uad a great antipathy to Dogs of that kind.