FILING A SCHEDULE.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume IV, Issue 94, 23 April 1869, Page 3

FILING A SCHEDULE.

" In a certain office of a certain town, which," ■says the Bendigo Independent, " shall be nameless, the following tragedy, comedy, farce, or melodrama — we scarcely know which — was lately performed with startling effect to one of the dramatis persona: Scene, a lawyer's office; Oily Gammon, the lawyer sitting at his desk; enter client (an Italian). Lawyer: 'Good day; pray be seated.' Client: 'Me want file my — what-you-may-eall-it.' Lawyer: ' Oh ! I know, your schedule. Client: 'Yes' Lawyer: ' What are your liabilities, and who are your creditors ? Client: 'My baker, my butcher, &c.' Lawyer: What assets have you V Client: Me have a puddling machine, a dam, &c.' Lawyer: ' Have you no money?' (pause.) * Come now tell the truth.' Client (reluctantly): ' Well, we have a little.' Lawyer: 'How much?' Client: £53.' Lawyer: ■*Do you know that you will have to go before the Commissioner and swear that you ihave not got any cash? You had better give me the money, and I will arrange about your schedule.' Client: 'Oh, yes, that will do; you, Mr. , give me the £53 again when me get ■my certificate.' iLawyer (with a grin): 'Gh, -certainly.' (Client hands over the needful,' and makes his exit.) End of Act 1. [A lapse of one month is supposed to have occurred, during which time the client had called — and called -again — on the lawyer for his certificate, but did •not — though wishing sincerely that he might — get it ] Act 2 — scene as before. — Client (getting tired of calling): 'Mr. you give me my £53 and keep certificate.' Lawyer (with virtuous indignation) : ' Get out of my office, or I will call a policeman.' (Rises to ealla constable.) Exit client in haste. Grand tableau."