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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume II, Issue 291, 9 December 1867, Page 2

Horses appear to be rather at a discount in Hawke's Bay, one having baen lately sold by auction at Meonee for sixpence. The lucky buyer immediately afterwards offered to get rid of his bargaiu for a shilling; but whether he was fortunate or not, deponent doth not say. The Hawke's Bay Herald says the country is overrun with the veriest screws, most of them Hauhau loot, and the feed they consume is worth infinitely more than the animals themselves. • Mr Aldridge had a narrow escape from drowning in Port Underwood. It appears from what has reached us that he was stepping down into the boat from the side of the vessel when his foot caught on the gunwhaie, and the boat was capsized, in which was his youngest son, who, with himself, was precipitated into the water. The captain of the ship witnessed the accident, and at once jumped overboard and saved the boy, while JMr Aldridge succeeded in getting on board again. No further harm ensued than a good ducking, and the loss of a quantity of crayfish intended as a present. — Marlborough Press. Why does not everybody have a geranium, a rose, a fuchsia, or some other flower in their window ? It is very cheap, if you take it from slip or seed, and it is a beauty and companion. As Leigh Hunt says, 'It sweetens the air, rejoices the eye, links you with Nature and innocence, and is something to love.' If it cannot love you in return, it cannot hate you ; it cannot utter an ungrateful thing even tor neglecting it ; and living as it does, purely to do you good and afford you pleasure, how can you neglect it ?', A lady once consulted Dr Johnson on the degree of turpitude +o be attached. to her son's robbing an orchard. ' Madam,' said Johnson. ' it all depends upon the weight ofthe boy. I remember my schoolfellow, David Garrick, who was always a little fellow, robbing a dozen orchards with impunity; but the very first time I climbed up an apple-tree, for I was always a heavy boy, the bough broke with me, and it was called a judgment. I suppose that is why Justice is represented with a pair of scales.' A curious incident occurred on August 6 in the House of Lords during the progress of the Breadalbane Peerage case. Mr Anderson, Q.C., in alluding to one of the persons whose name had been mentioned, called him Captain Patrick Campbell. The Lord Chancellor said the captain's name was not Patrick, but Peter. Mr Ajaderson said they were convertible terms. The Lord Chancellor : ' What, are St. Patrick and St. Peter the same ? ' — Mr Anderson : ' Yes, the names are the same.' Lord Colonsay informed the Lord. Chancellor that the learned counsel was right— in Scotland, Patrick was Peter and Peter was Patrick. The Lord Chancellor said it certainly was information to him. Scandal, like a kite, to fly well, depends greatly on the length of the tale it has to carry. When is a dead body not a dead body? When it's a gal-on-a-bier. . The full dress of a lady in Colombo is a hairpin and a garter. When is a tombstone like a rushlight? When it is set up for a late husband.