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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume II, Issue 265, 7 November 1867, Page 2

A short time since a young lawyer was examining a bankrupt as to how he .had spent his money. There were about three thousand dollars unaccounted for, when the attorney put on a severe scrutinising face, and exclaimed, with much selfcomplacency,'Now, sir, I want you to tell this court and jury how y pu used those three thousand dollars.' The bankrupt put on a serio-comic face, winked at the audience, and exclaimed — ' The lawyers got that !' The judge and audience were convulsed with laughter, and the counsellor was glad to let the bankrupt go. — New York Ledger. • Sambo, can )ou tell me in what building people are most like to take cold?' ' Why, no; me strange in de town, and can't tell dat.' ' Well,I will tell you — it is de bank.' ' How is dat? ' Because dere are so many drafts in it.' 4 Dat is good; tut can you tell me. sah, what make dere be so many drafts in it?' 'No.' 'Because so many go dere to raise de wind. Yah, yah, yah!' The famous Tony Lee, a player in King Charles ll. 's reign, being to be killed in a tragedy, having a violent cold, could -not forbear coughing as he lay dead upon the stage, which occasioned a good deal of laughing and noise in the house. '. Be lifted up his head, and, speaking to the audience, said,; 'This makes good what my poor mother used to tell me, for she would often say that I should cough in my grave, because I used to drink in my porridge.' This set the house in such good humor that it readily pardoned the solecism he tad before committed. At a public dinner given to the President and his associates in St. Louis, Mr Seward offered the following well- turned toast -.—The Mayor of St. Louis — may he ever be conservative in his administration of city, affairs, and radical in hospitality to his friends.' An editor, with an eye to payment for what he sellsVihdulges in this little bit of philosophy : — ' Every man ought to pay his debts,' if he can. Every man ought to get married, if he can. Every man should do his work to^suit.his customers, if he can. Every wife should sometimes hold her tongue, if she can. Every lawyer should occasionally . tell the truth.J it he can. Every man ought to mind his own business and let other people's alone, if he can. Every man .slumlii .take v .newspaper and pay foi* it any how.'

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