The Nelson Evening Mail. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 1867.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume II, Issue 78, 3 April 1867, Page 2

The Nelson Evening Mail. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3, 1867.

Professor Kohler having evinced a little tardiness in exhibiting his astonishing feats of presdigitation to a Nelson audience, Mr. C. Elliott kindly undertook to get up a little pleasant comedy, and powerfully supported by Mr. Huddleston and one or two performers, not unknown to fame, gave an amusing performance in the old Post Office last evening. It should be premised that the town had for several previous clays been covered with placards, invitiug the electors to assemble at the Provincial Hall. The wording of the notice intimated that some tremendous plot was brewiug, and that the supporters of Mr. Curtis must rush to his rescue. On attempting to gain possession of the Provincial Hall, it appears that the priucipal in the pretty little comedy received a somewhat unceremonious rebuff from the officials in possession, who enforced the Nelsonian usage, that although tbe noble hall was available for her Majesty's liege c , when required for general and useful purposes, it was not to be handed over to mere party politicians, the entreaties of first and second fiddle notwithstanding. Nothing daunted by this contretemps, aud on the principle of any port in a storm, the old Post Office was had recourse to. and amidst considerable mystification as to the object of the meeting, a goodly number of the supporters of Mr. Curtis, and not a few ofthe profane and uninitiated vulgar obtained admission. After lighting the candles and adjusting the few stools the room contained, the principal performer in the comedy proposed a chairman, who duly yielded to the soft persuasion. The first part of the comedy, was the proposal, by second fiddle, of Mr. 'Albert Pitt, whose virtues aud good qualities, were lauded in such a way as must raise a blush on ; tke cheek of that gentleman, wheu he finds himself famous in the Nelson Evening Mail. The eulogy pronounced on this gentleman seems to have fairly taken away the breath of the electors present, aud a long and solemn pause ensued before silence was again broken, or any elector inns tered courage to proceed to business. Then a valorous individual suggested that the worthy chairman should come to the succour of the sinking state, and counteract the treasons, stratagems, and spoils, which the wicked enemy meditated. The chairman, however, with sweet, reluctant, amorous delay, like a coy damsel beset with numerous suitors, declined to leave the bosom of his family, or neglect the duties of the upper house, to raiugle iu the small talk of a provincial town, where, notwithstanding all' that was said of patriotism aud progress, everything was getting awful seedy, and thiDgs must be left to take their course. It was now discovered by Mr^ Clements that the meeting was irregular and premature, that the electors could not make head or tail of the matter, and that discretion was the better part of valor, in spite of the tendencies of the warlike chief who had headed the fearful onslaught. An appeal to the chivalrous zeal of Mr. Wakapuaka Mackay, was enough to rouse all his clannish ardor, and to show the meeting.that ** reuegadoes nsver turn by halves," he. offered to do battle against all comers, in defence of his patron saint. By this time it was apparent that the principal performers in the farce would not be supported by their subordinates

and a heavy blow and great discouragement was inflicted on the little family arrangement by the trenchant logic of the inexorable Cooksey, who hinted at secret proceedings and spoke powerfully in favor of an open course of conduct. An opinion was how entertained by th© meeting that the part of "great cry and little wool " was a wretched failure, and that the best way to get out of au unpleasant predicament was to postpone the meeting sine die. Such a determination on the part of the electors came to the infinite relief of the chief performer, who had resembled a man sitting on thorns and vulnerable at every point. He took heart of grace, quarrelled with the advertisement, admitted the meeting was a tremendous piece of humbugj aud with a lame attempt at well bred whisper, proposed a resolution which brought thc farce to a conclusion. The meeting was an awful sham, but it was uot without good results, in disclosing who are to be the future Grattans, Sheridans, and Hampdens, of Nelson, and in convincing the fussy Mr. Elliott that when he mounts his steed in future, he must, like his prototype Johnny Gilpin, make better arrangements, or he will go much farther than he intended. He little thought when he set out Of running such a rig.