Original Poetry

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume II, Issue 69, 23 March 1867, Page 2

Original Poetry

WANTED, A CHIEF COOK. Enqcirk Btxow. DEDICATION — TO POLITICAL GOUP.MAKD6, * " "*:ooii as ihe evening sii ados prevail," I send you. by the Kvemnu Mail, Two "little Lits," Avhich may avail * In peu'ortlis. BIT THE SECOND. When near engaged — all duties planned — A cry Avas raised (rirst underband)— " The Liberal cook ain't going to stand ! Con-found him!" " First catch your hare." said Mrs Glass, In her famed cookery book. Ahis ! This (h;are made us said him A kas—ly tool of ! But noAv he's gone, let's kindly speak, He Avas so active all the w*tek ; He made a bubble and (a) squeak Unequalled ; Then a. fine mess in holding forth ; He also *-poiit the people's broth, (For which until the day of wrath. They'll thank him). Though wanting pluck, his heart Avell looked ; For him the place seemed safely booked, When — gratis too — our goose he cooked, And done brown. One party but two men next see — A most peculiar trinity — Divide in forces B. and C, To conquer. Cs made a trifle in this spot, And he can baste and make things hot; "His cleverness," alas, "is not Bis goodness." "His joint concerns, Avell dressed Avith sauce, Our very Customs felt their force ; It helped to pass, as matters o' course, Things fishy. To cook accounts he was not known, At buffets he could hold his own, And well he picked that largest bone — Contention. If e'er his brains displeased a guest, A readv tongue imparted zest, And lemons he would thrust to rest In calves' heads. He knew the art of stuffing geese, And toils at this Avithout release ; His skill is such, before decease He stuffs them. Many for him hoav cackle loud, And he and they feel awful proud, And fully conscious they're endowed To save Rome. A colonist this power denied ; He tested all he did provide, And, what was Avorse, refused beside Humble pie. And then he plainly does insist, That his ingredients do con-ist Of Avhat no free man could subsist Or thrive on. Before each candidate Avas laid Something for children long purveyed, Rather unsavoury, though well Aveighed Food, mental. Its cost and kind created chatter, (Such " fork-out " questions never flatter) And G— n, he made of this matter, Irish stew. T'had been both swallowed and discussed, And then brought up again and cussed, But Tom Thumb thought, go down it must, Though acid. To mince the matter B inclined, With proper cath'lic-spirit mind, And his success is now opined As certain. THE GRAVY. A proverb — brought too far, the East — Says, " Of tAvo evils choose the least:" This Avay Avould spoil the nicest feast Of reason. , Where difference ain't so manifest, Don't let me influence or suggest. Married or single, which are best ? The steadiest ?