The Inside Story

Northern Advocate, 13 May 1939, Page 1 (Supplement)

The Inside Story

by the “PRIVATE D. ”

FILLING THE V ACANT CHAIR

JQEMOCRACY lies sleeping in our midst. No doubt this somnolent state has been induced by the balmi-' ness of the autumn air. The sleepiness which is always reputed to invade the assembly rooms of civic fathers has crept abroad, and old man Morpheus has obtained a crossover toehold on the burgesses as well as the burgomasters,

gINCE earliest times, men have been known even to perspire ,in their aspirations to secure seats on the folk moat, the Duke of Volksbrund, but that spirit, like the good brown ale of Kent, would apear to have become diluted, for when a vacancy occurred in the ranks of the local equivalent of the aforementioned, no stalwart yeoman appeared to fill the breach. There was still one vacant chair and the problem of how to fill it.

these numbers referred hot to slaughter of feathered game, but of footballing opponents. Smaller numbers, such as one and three, referred to ducks and pheasants. It seems strange how every year reports come into the towns of the improved prospects for pheasant shooting, and how, each year, the actual bags grow less and less, until it would seem that the pheasant is becoming one with the dodo and the moa. Duck hunting, once confined to the very early hours of the inorning, seems now transferred to the later hours of the evening, and instead of being accomplished in lagoons to the sound of duck calls, now takes place at the garden gate to the sounds of cooing from the principals and cat calls from the neighbours. ,

rpHE heralds were sent forth to cal

for volunteers for a cog to replace that missing from the wheels of local government* but were unable to strike a receptive chord anywhere. It was yet another instance of the failure of the volunteer system, showing that although every local Spartan may still have been a brick none was willing to expose himself to the application of cement; even although it was only on footpaths. Civic pride lay humbled in the dust, and in their humility the remaining councillors decided to issue another call to any prepared to join their ranks. Again the path to the returning officer’s citadel was not worn smooth by those who came with the necessary £3 sterling (or rather N.Z.). Then, at the eleventh hour, there arose an old campaigner, willing to sacrifice his cosy fireside for the bleak council chamber, and so preserve the i civic dignity of the municipality. Now, yet another breach has occurred in the municipal wall, and again the lists have been thrown open for would-be municipal j ousters. Meanwhile an increase in rates, that prerogative of modern progress, has been announced. Seeing that the stakes have been increased, it would not be . surprising to see more entrants for the municipal handicap.

JJAVING chased birds on the wing A all the forenoon, Rugby men at Kaitaia, Kaikohe and Paparoa, had hardly a feather left to fly with by 3 p.m. This combined with the absence of rain during the last few months, left the oafs with no chance of becoming muddied, and with little of the tenacity of the retriever—in fact pointers were more the order of the day.

COMPLETE with peppermint bag, the Private D has unbelievingly watched the exploits of True Blue Harold as he has done mayhem to sundry scurvy knaves flitting across the silvery sheet. When “A Yank at Oxford” visited Whangarei recently, he even sheered at Robert Taylor winning a 220 yards classic when clad in academic robes. Having at Maungatapere seen a similar coup with his own pale blue eyes, he will doubt no longer.

a high jump contest drew the usual ** number of scantily clad athletes, with large expanses of chest and muscular development Hear' to the heart of our physical fitness enthusiasts. Among the contestants v/as a member of the ambulance brigade. Whether by chance or intention he found himself next to jump while still wearing his distinctive uniform. Treading on his trouser bottoms he performed a perfect swan dive and neatly removed the bar with his nasal organ.

sportsmen had every

excuse for being mixed in their metaphors on Saturday—the opening day for two of New / Zealand’s most popular sports—racing always excepted. ~ On Saturday evening, groups could be heard in cinema and other lobbies talking excitedly of 19, 25, 32 and similar expansive numbers. Upon inquiry it was found, however, that

NOTHING deterred, he removed his coat and sailed over the bar with the action dear to the man on the flying trapeze. As the height increased he gradually removed more clothing until clad only in his trousers and shirt he cleared sft. and dared the rest to better him. Finding no takers he calmly walked to the secretary’s, office and was last seen stuffing large quantities of green backs back into his pocket.