The Inside Story

Northern Advocate, 17 December 1938, Page 1 (Supplement)

The Inside Story

by the “PRIVATE D. ”

Private D learns with feelings of sympathy that nurses at the Auckland Hospital cannot spell. The examiners say that when they are correcting exam papers they often do not know what the candidate means, so jaoor is the putting together of simple words. The words are simple, of course, to 'the examiners who have been saturated in medical terms since early childhood. For instance, to discuss pulmobranchiate organs of certain species df'insects in relation to human beings would be child’s play, while exopthalmia could be discussed for hours on end, the spelling producing no difficulties. » • * * JDROBABLY the majority of those who cannot spell will favour the phonetic method of spelling, on the American lines, in opposition to the English methods, which are, as with everything English—or British —'bound by conventions. It’s simply not done to pronounce a word as it is spelt. Only those belonging to the people do such things. This applies to names especially. If you happen to be blessed with the title of Featherstonehaugh, you simply call it Fanshaw and raise your eylbrows if anyone attempts to make a mouthful of the whole name ap spelt.

« • * • JT appears to old fogeys like the Private D that the modern generation is going from bad to worse. Very few modern youths can write, so it is said. Now they are accused of not being able to spell. It seems that in a year or two no one will be able to write or spell, and the next art to disappear, it is presumed is speaking. Politicians of the future will have a hard time, promising high wages, fewer hours, less taxation, more jam and free everything, solely by means of signs. The ( on!y consolation will be that when these fail to materialise, the retort can be that the signs were misinterpreted. This will be the only excuse as newspapers will have gone out of existence by that time. ♦ <■ * • JJERHAPS a spelling bee could be held as part of the Centennial celebrations. The fashion nowadays is to attribute every new move, every new idea, every new request to the Centennial. It would be interesting to know just how many ideas have been suggested as Centennial offerings. Someone suggests a new incinerator for Kauriville, and suggests that it be built as a Centennial memorial, and the town council goes into committee to discuss whether it should build new steps to the municipal chambers as a memorial to the pioneers. # * H* * M R Semple, lately described the numerous strikes which have been ignored by the Government as a whole, and the Minister of Labour in particular, as comic opera strikes. No doubt they were comic to many people,

SPELLING BEES WANTED FOR OUR NURSES

but to the employers and farmers they would probably be described as tragedies. Jbe Private D warns Mr Semple that if he says things like that about minorities which are obviously composed of Communists and other strange believers, he should take care, as Communists are noted for their lack of humour. They have a very grim outlcok on life and it pains them to see people smiling over jokes. To have their sacred cause described as comic opera must have been very annoying, but they have the consolation of knowing that the remark came from New Zealand’s unique Cabinet Minister, who when at the top of his form, can make the spittoons rattle and the lounge lizzards scuttle. * ♦ rpHE Private D was in a lyrical mood the other day, and the following flowed from his mind on to paper: Said Semple to the strikers, You’re a mouldy lot of pikers, Ceasing work when Labour’s in. You’re ruining the cause, By starting industrial wars. When a Labour Govt’s in. Now if Adam had been set, It would have been a bet, That a strike ’ud be the thing. You’d be helping on our cause By starting wordy wars, If a National Govt, had 1 been in. * » • m

JQUNEDIN lived up to its reputation the other day when there was a rush at the railway station to buy tickets before the increased fares came into operation. If the railway,to Waipu had only been built no doubt enough revenue would have been received in the same way to have paid the interest on the line for many years to come. The item of news from Dunedin was solemnly transmitted through New Zealand by the news agency responsible, and probably the reporter who obtained the news in the first place did not realise that there was anything funny about it. Such things are common in localities pbpulatMljy the descendants of the Pipts and Scots, who in olden times were in the habit of getting things for nothing from their neighbours over the border in England. ♦ * ♦ * Christmas approaching, the Private D urges his friends to shop early and post presents so that they will reach the Private D at least a week before Christmas Day. This will enable him to post to other relatives and friends those articles which he does not need, thus helping the economy of the country by saving the necessity for importing more goods. This is patriotism in its finest form, and has, the Privat D is sure, the approval of the P.M. Seeing that the New Zealand pound is now worthless outside the country—that is to say worth less than it is in New Zealand, and that is very little—overseas aunts and uncles will have to enjoy a presentless feast. No doubt many uncles will rejoice at the absence of cigars which burn with a roaring sound, like a log fire.