GIRLS I HAVE KISSED

Northern Advocate, 27 November 1937, Page 8

GIRLS I HAVE KISSED

The Inside Story

'JTH.E title of this dissertation was made purposely misleading by the sub-editor, who has saddled the "Private D” with a responsibility which he does not care to accept, running as he does in double harness. The only kisses with which the writer has truck these days arc those which he surreptitiously studies from behind blackberry bushes and curtains when on the beat pursuing his duties of private investigator. Realising the delicacy of the subject, he co-opted the services of a young man about town, who is definitely in the sheik class

By The Private D.

and who is correspondingly promiscuous in his love affairs, like the busy bee, sipping from flower to flower. It was when this ambitious philanderer, who for obvious reasons desires his identity to remain concealed, boasted of having sampled 101 brands of lipstick as used by Whangarei’s femininity, that this idea for an inside story was born. * * * * QUESTIONED in all seriousness as to whether the young ladies of Whangarei were easy to embrace and whether they encouraged lyrics over the balcony railing, the local Rudee Valentino stroked the down on his upper lip and ruminated for a moment, “It’s just like a good sales talk,” he ventured at length, “everything depends on the method of approach. Some favour cave-man methods, but I attribute my success in this line to studied restraint. If you can convince a Whangarei damsel that the last thing you desire from her is a kiss, the battle is more than won. Stealing is not necessary if more subtle methods are adopted.”

JN view of the controversy, which has raged recently, regarding dances, it was surprising to find the young Lothario lacking in enthusiasm for the opportunity which the ballroom and its precincts offer. While twilight waltzes and the chance acquaintances of the polonaise often acted as a useful preliminary canter, he voted every time for a sofa at home and the more subdued firelight. Soft radio music rather than - jazz bands, he said, paved the way for the moment of romance. In the ballroom everything was laughter and gaiety, and there \yas little scope there for jnutual understanding. * « * * FREQUENTLY the words of a song, especially since the commercial stations had been on the air, just fitted into the mood and circumstances of the moment. For instance, the informer quoted an occasion when he was spending his last evening with “Dolly” before leaving on the morrow for another town. As they sat on the divan and the firelight threw flickering shadows to accentuate the sadness engendered by the impending parting, things became a little constrained. Then nightingales sang from the radio in the corner, and a plaintive tenor gave poignancy to unexpressed feelings by his rendei’ing of “Parted.”

JUST as the colleen with the Irish eyes can woo with a glance, so, it appears, can the gallant win hearts with his voice. Although the antics of Shakespeare’s Romeo cause levity among the modern generation, a love

song, feelingly crooned, is still undoubtedly a means to an end. In the early stages of a flirtation, perhaps the most efficacious number of all is “The Words Are In My This song is made in America but apparently has a universal appeal, and a message which will break down more than the Customs barriers. Crooners are at a premium among Wbangarei’s younger set.

r pHE local Romeo was quite empha-

tic that in Whangarei better provision has been made for public courting grounds than for athletic playing fields. The inspiration of Lovers’ Lane, he said, was a happy legacy left for modern courtiers by the pioneers. Quiet nooks in plenty were available for the furthering of clandestine meetings, although the popularity of Central Park made for congestion at times. In his experience he had found the motor car to be almost the ideal rendezvous, provided that the tank was fully filled before setting out cn an adventure and that the driver exercised all speed precautions. However, the occasional quick rounding of a bend and the necessity for male protection was all to the good if not carried to extremes. * £ :Je . * JT is a well-known fact, vouched for by the “Private D’s” co-respon-dent, that many romances have their origin in unaccustomed places. For instance, he says, it is most difficult to get “ga-ga” over the girl who lives next door. For real glamour, the young men of the town should seek their kisses from fresh country wenches, thus bringing town and country closer together than has ever been achieved by agricultural shows or by political measures. In this regard he mentioned that a pair of nice horses rivalled the modem motor car as a vehicle for riding into the land of romance. In fact, a kiss on horseback was worth two in the automobile. -I- $ jft $ ! JN order that partings may not be too poignant, sweethearts on both sides, the expert contends, should possess a saving grace of humour. “Kiss and smile,” is his motto. For engagements of this nature to end in the passing of a ring means that the days of the rambling rose are over and that the bud of romance has be<hi clipped for the vase of domesticity. * * # ft ■JJNDER the title of “We Are Not Amused,” our valued contributor. Mrs D, E. Tyson, forwards the following:—

When Kelly came to live with us, He thought us dull and fearful, So tried his best to raise a laugh And make us bright and cheerful. He lifted gates off hinges, and On chimneys placed old sacking, To Grandpa gave a “firework” pipe. To Baby, tins of blacking. He said: “I’m sure that Farmer Bones Thinks I’m a funny fellow For painting up his old white mare With stripes of blue and yellow.” Then 'with the laundry next he played ’Twixt bungalows and shanties, On Miss Prim’s clothes-line trousers hung, While bach’lors’ lines held scanties. Into a neighbour’s pile of wood He hid a plug of “gelly,” But quite forgot, and stayed to dine, ’Twas then “Farewell to Kelly.”

St. Peter locked his gates, and said: “Descend. We love you neither.” The De’il cried: “Clear off out of here, For we don’t want you either.”